Trapped In An Abusive Relationship?

You have been putting up with his/ her nasty behaviors for a while. In years you have been looking for ways to change your lover to someone much better. But along the way down the road you realize that the person is only changing for worse, what would you do next?

Dealing with an abusive person is not easy. And in most cases, these people only changes for worse, making it even more impossible to tolerate much further.

An abusive person maybe that person who uses bitter words towards your (verbal attack) or that one who uses both verbal and physical attacks on you…. It hurts whichever the way, and it needs your final decision as the way you want to live your life.

Here you need to determine things that trigger such attacks. If you find them easily, try your level best to minimize your exposure to them. By eliminating the base for bitter confrontations, you will come to notice that minus such, you have a much better life with him or her.

Another thing that might help is giving him/her a space that limits much contact. If it means communication, then limit how you interact with the person, but be there when he or she needs you. That big space is a sure away of telling the person that you are looking for means to avoid trouble.

Remember an abusive person would look for quick means to hurting you the most. They are there to make you see the world from a daring angle. However, no body on earth is perfect enough to go around messing with other people’s peace. Look for his or her weaknesses. Exploring ways to bring down his/her abusive side to your advantage will be the best way of handling the person. Be sure to know and an angle to take when dealing with him or her. Just don’t over do it..

Ignorance on the part of some parents

For the better part of a few weeks, there has been a heated debate concerning an immoral gathering of young people branded ’Project X’ with a unique function where there are no rules. So the police have been on the lookouts for any such upcoming events where the majority of Kenyans felt that the young ones were being introduced to some form of porn lifestyle.

Now that the public was well aware of such undesirable events, just about a week ago the police were tiptoed of such like event in a certain residential house. So they raided the house and arrested about 140 minors with ages from seventeen. But parents of these young men and women faulted the police for arresting their children who were just having fun. They refuted the claims that it was a ‘Project X’ gathering with a parent who was interviewed saying that it was just with some crazy party with children drinking alcohol, smoking but there was no orgies happening.

One wonders how some parents think that teenagers taking alcohol and smoking are amounting to them having fun. This would definitely have led to other things which the parents might not even be aware of or are even too ignorant to check on what their children are up to. Most of the young people are losing track of their lives in future for failing to have someone who can talking to them. But if as a parent, you show your child that having fun is drinking alcohol and smoking, and then what kind of foundation are you setting for him or her?

Let the children know that there is time for everything and they need to take control of their lives. Let them know that there is enjoying life and there is ruining a life and even as they have fun there is their future ahead.

Partners discussing one another with third parties

A Muslim couple being wed alongside the Tungab...

A Muslim couple being wed alongside the Tungabhadra River at Hampi, India. In the background, a Hindu man is taking his ritual bath. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Communication for married couples is very important because you need one another’s views for the success of your staying together. But I remember a radio show a few days ago whereby different participants how they felt about this issue. But it turned to be like a blame game as both men and women took this chance to trade accusations as to who is in the wrong when it comes to displaying marital issues to a third party.

So this lady called and said that for any women who go ahead to discuss their husbands with other married women, it was for the sake of getting help. She went ahead and said that your experiencing something with your man and how you went about may after all help another woman in the same situation. She also said men cannot plead innocence in all this because they also discuss their wives with the side chick so as to really show that she is the better option as far as his marital status is concerned.

Then this other man said that it is wrong for any woman to go out there and discuss he man with other married women. He further added that women do not realize that they are enemies of themselves since whatever problem that you are naively sharing with them will still find itself to other uninterested parties. He also said that the minute a woman thinks that taking the husband’s problems to her pals will be of any help, that’s where she loses track because she only becomes a laughing stock.

I think may it be anyone’s wife or husband, there is no way that you can entrust the solution of your problems with a third party. It’s only viable that two partners seat down together and discuss any pressing issue and devise the way forward.

Is it really killing for love?

Just a few days ago, there were this shocking news of a boyfriend who stabbed his girlfriend to death in her parents home after they had an argument and then went home and killed himself by taking a poison. He left a suicidal note taking responsibility for the death of the girl who was found in the pool of blood at home by her father.  Looking at this incident one wonders whether they really knew what it is to be in love. Even if two people are in love, they need to know challenges are there and so being in a position to be able to deal what comes their way the better.

We all know that a relationship is open to be healthy or unhealthy and the two partners should accept whatever course their relationship takes. No one should force any romance on the other but I guess most young people seem determined to make things work to their favor even when no hopes linger along.

What happened to a healthy or unhealthy relationship scenario? In this case one should be able to gauge if you are in a healthy relationship or not. If you are not able to cope up with your partner, then let go everything because no amount of pressure from anyone might change this. Then be able to move and just know  that one failed or broken relationship does not mean you cannot land to another good one and what’s more better a broken relationship than a broken marriage.

Looking at this incident, it seemed like this young man had no left options to even let go this girl into another life with someone else. So he just thought ending this relationship meant no life for both of them. What if they both were not meant to be? Too bad that he could not stomach that even though in this life he ought to know that anything is possible.

Children and what they may mean in a marriage



Just a few days ago, it we were treated to a piece of shocking news where a man supposedly poisoned his four children after a quarrel with his wife. Two of the children died and the other two were taken to a hospital where they were recuperating. So the question arising here; what did the children have to do with their personal differences? Even if this was a way of getting back to the wife, there was some other way of going about it. This is really insane bearing in mind that the children had nothing do to with their parents problems.

Now that two children are dead, would this man say that he is happy or would he say that he has really gotten back to his wife? The answer is hell no and who would even want to be associated with a murderer not even his family members. He belongs to being behind bars.

In the institution of marriage, children come in the process of your stay as one and the hope of living together as a family in a healthy relationship becomes anyone’s wish. So where  children are concerned, they need security from their both parents but from the look of things we are in a world of moving where trust even from one’s own parents is gradually diminishing.

When a child is born, the happiness that comes with this gift is non- measurable and this is surely treated with a lot of significance with friends and relatives visiting the little one with gifts. But then one wonders what would make anyone think the child is as good as dead due to mere reason of a quarrel with the mother. Isn’t it an accomplishment to raise a child for ten years or more                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Even f you as parents fight or quarrel over anything, children ought not to know about this and its even insane to drag them into all this .Like for this incident, where was the father’s love because for this case there is lots of hatred renting the air.

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