the people we never understand

It’s Never Okay

The moment she start misbehaving, just know that you let it happen so long ago and that she has no turning back.

the people we never understand

889464 / Pixabay

In most cases, you pushed her against the wall, she did not complain, you dragged her on rough grounds, she did no protest, you made her see no future, but she kept quiet on it, you made her feel the shame of this world, but because of love, she held onto what she believed would work someday. However, she just made it obvious that you are not worth her struggle and that she has her life to live.

When you make those simple loud mistakes, most women would not face you and talk to you about it, they would just sit quiet and force that ugly happening into the limbo. From there, they would seek for means to address it in favorable time. But if their ways of approach proves to be tiresome and tricky, they would live with it waiting for another chance—- they just don’t forget.

In this world, we have two types of women, the calculating one and the realistic one. In these two, if you happen to have the calculating woman, then you must be careful on how to treat her. These are the kind of women who would show no signs of hurting. Their main answer to any mistake is always ‘It is okay.’ Mm! With women it is never ‘Okay’, you better know this.

Well, the realistic ones would give you all time you need to make changes that you want. They would push you, remind you and some would threaten you just to bring you back into your senses. They are good people to have around, but some confuse this personality to ‘nagging.’

Okay, these two types forms larger women society. If a woman who was good makes a negative move, then know it has been brewing for a long while. She never showed her inner self until the perfect moment. Blame it on you, not anyone else.



Love triangle killings

For quite some time now, there have been increased incidents of university students killing one another due to love related reasons. The most related incident is a first-year student killing a fourth-year student after an argument ensued concerning the latter’s girlfriend.

It was a sad incident that left the country wondering what life has become, why kill your love rival instead of thinking much better about the whole relationship. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is having another relationship out there, then it means he or she is not someone worth to be your future husband or wife.

For students, life is much better if wise judgment is given the first hand in almost everything. There is nothing bad about being rejected or being treated as a third person. One only has to understand that not all that glitters are golden, and those who pretend to be special sometimes ends up being like your foot-mat in future.

The future is bright for bright minds out there. Every wrong mistake, wrong decisions, and wrong moves draws you close to failure. You don’t want that to happen, right? Cool! Then you have to start thinking much better than normal lifestyle. Students in higher learning institutions should live by their status. Learning is part of life too. Books only show us the way, but how we implement what we have learnt in real life is what that matters.

Why kill someone just because of love? Anger does more damage than good. The damage caused by anger can destroy the rest of your life. Students have a future to gamble with, but what they do not understand is how a simple mistake might land them in worst mess than what they have ever thought of.

People make mistakes! Love triangles thrive where true love is a thing that cannot be put into practice, but rather a waste of time. People should be careful about who to love and when to love.

Apparently, Love and Marriage Is Nothing Unless…. Gain Some Weight

According to a certain community in Kenya, love and marriage is only secure if they see their daughter adding some weight. This, to them, is a clear indication that she is having a happy life and being taken care of well.

To them, love is nothing but an illusion that brings lonely hearts together. Then after that is life with or without love. And that love is only seen when a woman gains weight— a pure indication that the man is providing well for her.

This is so absurd, in this time and age we expected people to understand love life much better. It is obvious that we, people, do not eat love. But gaining weight has nothing to do with love and happiness. As it has been confirmed scientifically that some people gains weight when they are sad or when they are depressed.

As other women fight with their weight, some communities in Kenya still believe that adding some extra Kgs after marriage is the only way the third parties could know how happy the family is.

In Kenya, some people in middle class society love being fatty fatty. According to them, being a heavy weight tells the world one is financially secure and that he or she is leading a good life.

One house wife was heard saying.

Look at me and look at them. Being skinny means your husband is giving you stress instead of providing for you….

This kind of mentality runs down to most Kenyan’s mind. They see skinny but healthy people as poor while they identify a heavy weight person as someone with riches.

Recently, a man lost his wife just because he could not fatten her for the period of time they had stayed together. According to her family, she was leading a very bad life and that she deserved better than wasting her life with someone who could not make her add some weight. Weird but that is the reality!

So love life is nothing if gaining weight is not part of the family. Life is crazier that how to seems like in Kenya.

A Friend With One Mysterious Dirty Secret

In those days, I was in High School, a mixed school in Nairobi county where I had time with a few great people who still linger in my mind. I remember one time when I asked one girl, a student, what that one thing she wishes never happened in her life. In my amazement, she took my note-book and wrote the following short poetic story:

My heart cries him,

My tears have not yet dried down,

I can feel him in my heart,

But I can’t hold him,

Touch his hands,

Say I love you in whispers…

Long gone,

Gone from my life,

But still there in my heart..

So vivid is his image..

My true lost love.

I was touched by this piece that I remember a drop of fresh tear running down my scared cheek. Well, I did not have courage enough to  ask who he was, how important he was and why she just could not let go.

Yep! I chose to inquire more about her love life, her family and everything that might bring out the reality in her life. He close friend told me that she is a reserved person who hardly share something personal with her friends. That was something! Then why me?

Another person who happened to be her neighbor said that he does not know much about her because they moved in from an unknown place and that the family is not that close to neighbors. Okay, that was a dead-end!

I happened to know her brother from a neighboring school. So, I just made a move for friendship before digging further into their life. There I found out that their father died some years ago but his death hit his sister more than anyone else. That was when I was face with the last ‘why’ that only her could give me the right answer.

It was then that I decided to go and start a conversation that lead me to posing that one big question. I was already ready for the consequences.

Her only answers was like,

You already know why, and I don’t have to explain things that are so obvious’

Well, I understood her perfectly well. But I could not connect the dots to see how that was possible…


A Stranger That She Loved

She said that her husband does not like being close to her or to her children.  She only remembers the past as the most unforgettable moments for their love life but now, all that is gone.

According to her, her husband who is a known business person visits her very often but he is only there as a tourist. Even though he takes care of all financial needs of his family, he is only there to make a home whole but emotionally, he lost it all long time ago.

Whatever happened for him to change from a romantic, caring and loving husband to someone who is only there remains a puzzle that she can’t find a solution for.

She said that it all started when they had their second born… ‘As if it was a trigger for something that was sitting idle in his mind, it is never the same again since then’ she recalls.’

What she knows is that he is not cheating on her. She said she has done a lot of investigations into his life but nothing has come up indicating that he is seeing someone else.

In his other apartment where he stays, he only has a dog as a companion and no one else. He mostly keeps things by himself and nothing more about him.

Amazingly, he remembers her most important dates on their marriage calendar. He sends surprises to her very often. And he denies leaving his family in loneliness. In fact this is why she has never thought of filling for divorce.

When children are around, she makes sure that they do not feel neglected by their father. It is hard because as time goes, the more that everything is becoming so obvious that their father is like a tourist in their life.

Many women are going through such a situation. It is hard for them to act double— as a mother and father— however, with hope for better tomorrow, they hang in there.

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