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family – Waflay Post
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A Stranger That She Loved

She said that her husband does not like being close to her or to her children.  She only remembers the past as the most unforgettable moments for their love life but now, all that is gone.

According to her, her husband who is a known business person visits her very often but he is only there as a tourist. Even though he takes care of all financial needs of his family, he is only there to make a home whole but emotionally, he lost it all long time ago.

Whatever happened for him to change from a romantic, caring and loving husband to someone who is only there remains a puzzle that she can’t find a solution for.

She said that it all started when they had their second born… ‘As if it was a trigger for something that was sitting idle in his mind, it is never the same again since then’ she recalls.’

What she knows is that he is not cheating on her. She said she has done a lot of investigations into his life but nothing has come up indicating that he is seeing someone else.

In his other apartment where he stays, he only has a dog as a companion and no one else. He mostly keeps things by himself and nothing more about him.

Amazingly, he remembers her most important dates on their marriage calendar. He sends surprises to her very often. And he denies leaving his family in loneliness. In fact this is why she has never thought of filling for divorce.

When children are around, she makes sure that they do not feel neglected by their father. It is hard because as time goes, the more that everything is becoming so obvious that their father is like a tourist in their life.

Many women are going through such a situation. It is hard for them to act double— as a mother and father— however, with hope for better tomorrow, they hang in there.

Children and what they may mean in a marriage

THE CHILDREN OF MIGRANT WORKERS PLAY MARBLES W...

THE CHILDREN OF MIGRANT WORKERS PLAY MARBLES WHILE THEIR PARENTS WORK IN FIELDS – NARA – 543855 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Just a few days ago, it we were treated to a piece of shocking news where a man supposedly poisoned his four children after a quarrel with his wife. Two of the children died and the other two were taken to a hospital where they were recuperating. So the question arising here; what did the children have to do with their personal differences? Even if this was a way of getting back to the wife, there was some other way of going about it. This is really insane bearing in mind that the children had nothing do to with their parents problems.

Now that two children are dead, would this man say that he is happy or would he say that he has really gotten back to his wife? The answer is hell no and who would even want to be associated with a murderer not even his family members. He belongs to being behind bars.

In the institution of marriage, children come in the process of your stay as one and the hope of living together as a family in a healthy relationship becomes anyone’s wish. So where  children are concerned, they need security from their both parents but from the look of things we are in a world of moving where trust even from one’s own parents is gradually diminishing.

When a child is born, the happiness that comes with this gift is non- measurable and this is surely treated with a lot of significance with friends and relatives visiting the little one with gifts. But then one wonders what would make anyone think the child is as good as dead due to mere reason of a quarrel with the mother. Isn’t it an accomplishment to raise a child for ten years or more                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Even f you as parents fight or quarrel over anything, children ought not to know about this and its even insane to drag them into all this .Like for this incident, where was the father’s love because for this case there is lots of hatred renting the air.

Forgoten Social Values

Nothing is wrong with women being empowered to take up a bigger place in the society. In fact we advocate for equality in every aspect and when we see women being subjected to a second class or only coming at a second place after the man, we ask question as to why there is still such kind of gender setting in this time and era.

But as we appreciate the society and transformations it has undergone to bring out the power of women, we have to admit that somewhere along the line… we messed up!

Money defining a man,

‘I can’t stay with a jobless man. Real men just don’t wait for their wives to provide for them.. they should do something to make their own money. My money is mine alone, but his should cater for his family. I just can’t allow him to feed on my sweat.” A female caller said these on the national radio.

Well, she was not alone. Other women who contributed to that morning radio show had similar views. And some calling to say they never ever entertain a jobless man. And someone even put it is straight that is her husband loses his job, she will move on with her life and forget about him. These clearly show that money defines a man.

Powerful woman who despises the society,

Well, as she was being empowered we forgot to mention the need to uphold her values in the society.

‘What are you doing with that dog, anyway?’ A message from a certain Nollywood movie when a woman told her best friends that her husband is a jealous type who do not like seeing her talking to strangers.

According to these women, a woman should be free to do whatever she wants and whenever she desires. Here is the advice they gave her,

“Ditch the dog and enjoy life girl… life is so short to be stressed up by a man.”

So strange, huh!

Well, to these women, marriage is a gage that should be avoided in all means. Being free defines what they need in life. According to them, marriage is for losers who have no time with themselves.

The Society That Hates Children

For some of us, children are tangible blessings that God has granted to us. However, it happens that there are people who see children only as a huge hindrance to what they want to accomplish in life.

We do understand that sometimes children come in when we have not yet prepared for a family; nonetheless, they should not be subjected to maltreatment just because of that reason.

In some families in Kenya, children have no time with their parents. In this case, parents would rather be distant than help their children as they grow up in the family. Families use schools as the best recipe in limiting time between parent and children who constantly need parental attention.

Love in the family brings about mutual understanding between family members. If someone takes away this most important aspect, then everything becomes wild or freefall kind of lifestyle.

In most cases, bullies result form lack of family connection. They do hate family lifestyle and they choose to take anger on whose are considered to be inferior in the community.

According to a recent Kenyan report on lawless children, there was a confirmation that most children who have bad manners comes from families where these if no or distant communication between family members.

….the higher the number of wild children in the community, the higher the chances of bullying of innocent children and other kinds of evil in the society…

The sad reality is that, not every parent understand his or her responsibilities to their children. In this case, they are failing to see that children are brought up in an environment that nurtures their inner desires and brings out almost everything that a child needs.

Life in any family setting  depends highly on how parents conduct themselves. Leaving children to choose their lifestyle is just like hating everything they do.

Men When it Comes to Declaring What They Own to Their Partners

English: One of five wives in a Datoga village...

One of five wives in a Datoga village, Tanzania (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is an issue that we cannot run away from because it has happened in some families that the man of the house passes on and goes away with secrets of properties that he may have owned. So in one radio morning show, listeners were asked to open up on whether they would consider sharing with their partners on what they own.

The first caller was a man who said that whatever he owned belonged only to his children, something that he had already put clear to his wife. He went on and said he has two children (a boy and a girl) with his wife and a son with a different woman because he initially thought his wife would not sire him a boy as their first born was a girl.

According to him, he is actually accumulating wealth for his three children who will in turn take care of their mothers who will not be beneficiaries.

Then this other man called and vowed never to tell his wife hat he actually owns. He went ahead and said that he has evidences where men have been killed by their wives all due to circles of wealth attained. He further said for those who are lucky to escape the sure death are involved in court cases to unearth the evils of their wives supposedly trying to murder them.

Then another man said that he had no problem declaring his wealth to his wife because he had already decided to live with her and what’s more being the mother of his children is enough to show his trust for her.

He further added that those who talk of the fear of being killed by their wives is a shallow theory because being in a marriage means being one in everything. To justify this, he said if any woman was out to kill her man, then she would have done so a long time ago not only waiting for this issue of wealth.