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child – Page 6 – Waflay Post
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The Act of Forgiveness in Marriage

When two lover birds are in a union in marriage,it’s hard to evade mistakes done by one partner to the other.

Depending on the individual some will opt to forgive the ‘wrong’ done ,forget and move on. But there are others who will not forgive,get off that marriage and at the same time swear to make the partner pay one day.

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But  those who forgive their partners, say that they do it for the love that  they have for their partners and also due to the fact of how they cherish their marriage.

I have some scenarios where marriage mistakes have been forgiven;

For this man,he had been married to his wife for six years and the wife conceived with another man.The fact that she confessed was enough to make him take her back and since they were legally married in church wedding and they still loved each other very much.

Another man also confessed that he forgave his fiancee while they were still in college after she conceived with another man.He felt that with a child involved,it would not be good to abandon her.  Then after 11 years in marriage ,her infidelity made her test  HIV positive while for him he tested negative. He finally decide to marry her legally in church hoping that she would eventually change.

But for those who could not forgive based their argument on how responsible the person will be, not to repeat the same mistake again.

In fact one had to support this; his wife cheated on him with his best friend and he forgave her. However, she did it again with his work mate and so he broke up with her since he could no longer trust her whatsoever.

It’s good to forgive in marriage but what matters more is if  it’s worth to continue living as a couple.

As we have read in the above examples of forgiveness, we find that some people are forgiven and later lead a straight life, however we have other who go on repeating the same mistake. My question is, how many times are you willing to forgive your unfaithful lover?

 

 

Family Issues left at the Mercy of Social Media

Dead Beat, a Facebook group that was acting more of a ‘shaming page’ for ran-away  fathers and even those in the corridors of power were not spared. It was branded ‘Dead-Beat Kenya‘.

The Objective of The Group

The administrator of this page had the aim of providing a forum where the women victims could let the cat out of the bag concerning such fathers.It was an open group and anybody was free to join and being on social there was a lot of excitement that came with being a member with that group.

So what the women out there did was to put a photo of the ‘supposed father’ of their child/children and a little description concerning them.Some talked of men abandoning them and not even bothering to assist them in bringing up the children.For those who were unlucky to find their details on the group,it was such a mess especially if one had moved on and even in the family life.

This group touched peoples of all walks of lives including even those in the political class. Most women were in the support of this group saying that it was payback time. I could see some men trying to come out in the open and defend themselves that some stories were false since they had been supporting his children.

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Touching The Untouchable…

Women continued posting their experiences but then  one  politician felt that once his name appeared in the group,this had maliciously damaged his personality.So what he did,he sued the administrator of the group and the lady who made the post for defamation.So they were summoned to appear before the court to defend themselves.And in the meantime the court also refrained the group from placing any more posts.

I think coming up with such a group according to my view was not one of the viable options.This is because there are legal means through which such family issues can be sorted out.

Let’s leave social media to what it’s best at, and that is sharing our simple day to day lives.

Now Dead Beat Kenya is dead..

 

 

 

Parenting Issues -Dealing With a Defiant Child

dealing with a defiant child

dealing with a defiant child

At times in family life, you may find your child doing mistakes many often and does not want to change for good.

The strategies of dealing with such a child are:

  1. You hold your child accountable.

-This is to make your child know that he/she is wrong.

-The child needs to know the family rules and this will make a child to know what is expected of him/her.

-You should sit down with your child and tell him or her what is acceptable or not in the family. This can for example be avoiding use of abusive language or treating others with respect.

 

  1. If a child goes wrong, act but do not overreact that is may be fight or make noise.

-Don’t be angry with your child and cool your temper.

-Calmly tell your child that you do not approve of the behavior and you will deal with this later. Such an action will make the child to think things over again, about what he/she has really done.

3. Enforce age appropriate consequence.

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-You should be aware that an 8-year old child is different from that of 20-year old.

-This can involve taking something from your child once a mistake is done.

-Grounding your child from certain activities or from accessing electronic devices.

4. Keep your power

-It is good to stand your ground as a parent and for a child as the child.

-Do not argue with your child because if this happens you are just giving the child more power of

over the situation.

-Even if your child wants to argue, do not allow this and make it clear to the child that there are

consequences for any wrong done.

5. No second chances or bargaining.

– If a child does repeated mistakes take action so that they see the seriousness in it.

6. Always build on the positive actions or attitudes of the child.

-You should praise your child for a positive behavior or even reward for something good done.

7. Set regular time to talk to your children so that you know how a child can change.

Happy parenting!