Marriage is the most fulfilling relationship and the most hurting relationship.When two lover birds move in together as a couple in marriage,it is their wish to live happily ever after.Happy life is every couples dream after being in a marriage in accordance to plans.
But there an upcoming challenge that is wrecking marriages and this is the issue of physical abuse in marriage.May be the reason behind this can be a bad choice of a partner or not getting to know each other well before getting into marriage or due to hidden agenda by the partner.But then women are the most common ones to be abused physically.
Abuse in marriage can be classified into the following cycles:
1. Tension building-In this cycle tension between the partners in marriage increases and the closeness that they had been having stops.There is also the breakdown of communication where the couple cannot even sit down together to try and sort out their differences.
2. Incidence stage-In this cycle,verbal and emotional abuse are exercised here.You may find that the husband can tell the wife that she can leave and walk out of the marriage if she wants to.It is at this point that there is a lot intimidation and one can even get slapped.
-At this stage,stay calm and walk away to safety.Even when there is verbal abuse,don’t react and this means don’t give him what he wants that is taking part in the arguing.
3. Reconciliation stage-This is where the abuser calms down and even declare that he didn’t mean to hurt his partner.He apologies and even gives excuses such as that his partner forced him to react.He may even blame the victim and deny that the abuse really occurred or just say that it was not a fight after all.
4. Honey-moon stage/calm stage-This is the final stage of the cycle of abuse which may come after a few months.In this case,the abuser is in a lot of pretense and this makes the victim think that there is hope of maintaining what the had once with the partner.The problem is that the abuse can still reoccur since there is nothing that the partners have solved.
The only way an abuse can be avoided is during the tension building stage and this is through communication as this is the only way for partners can be able to solve problems.One can also ask for support as a problem shared is a problem solved.