The Act of Forgiveness in Marriage

When two lover birds are in a union in marriage,it’s hard to evade mistakes done by one partner to the other.

Depending on the individual some will opt to forgive the ‘wrong’ done ,forget and move on. But there are others who will not forgive,get off that marriage and at the same time swear to make the partner pay one day.

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But  those who forgive their partners, say that they do it for the love that  they have for their partners and also due to the fact of how they cherish their marriage.

I have some scenarios where marriage mistakes have been forgiven;

For this man,he had been married to his wife for six years and the wife conceived with another man.The fact that she confessed was enough to make him take her back and since they were legally married in church wedding and they still loved each other very much.

Another man also confessed that he forgave his fiancee while they were still in college after she conceived with another man.He felt that with a child involved,it would not be good to abandon her.  Then after 11 years in marriage ,her infidelity made her test  HIV positive while for him he tested negative. He finally decide to marry her legally in church hoping that she would eventually change.

But for those who could not forgive based their argument on how responsible the person will be, not to repeat the same mistake again.

In fact one had to support this; his wife cheated on him with his best friend and he forgave her. However, she did it again with his work mate and so he broke up with her since he could no longer trust her whatsoever.

It’s good to forgive in marriage but what matters more is if  it’s worth to continue living as a couple.

As we have read in the above examples of forgiveness, we find that some people are forgiven and later lead a straight life, however we have other who go on repeating the same mistake. My question is, how many times are you willing to forgive your unfaithful lover?

 

 

Youth and Marriage

Marriage is the most fulfilling relationship and can at the same time be the most hurting relationship.

Choosing your partner well is the foundation for a good marriage.But to the youth,choosing is the most neglected part when one is settling down to marriage.

It’s better to fall in love to someone who is your friend.

Qualities to look for in your partner before settling down to marriage

1. Can you accept one another as partner?-You can’t change your partner and should be ready to accommodate the differences that you have.As a partner don’t promise to change if you know it’s hard for you to.

2. Do you like each other?-Liking is more basic than loving.If he /she is your ideal friend then you are able to share secrets.

3. Are your values comparable?-This is being open/honest with each other values that is there are no reservations in your relating together.That is there is mutual respect,responsibility,loving/caring.

4. Are you comfortable with the way you express your feelings to your partner?

5. Are you comparable in how you look at life?-That is whether your partner is an optimistic positive partner or a pessimistic negative person.

Factors that young people should consider before marriage

1. Marriage as a teen is a known risk factor for divorce.-Marriage is best for partners who are at an age that they can be responsible for themselves.

2.The more partners are similar in terms of principles,background and goals,there are high chances that the marriage can in the long run be fruitful.

3.Education background-Partners who are educated to maybe college level have high chances of successful marriage.this is due to their diverse exposure to different environment.

4. Marriage helps to generate wealth and income.-People who are in marriage may be economically better off.

5. It’s important to know how you got to know your partner.The most likely places is through introduction by a family member or a friend or through acquaintances.

6. Living together before marriage is not fruitful.

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What Is Love?

true love is...

true love is…

What is love?

I have never figured out what is the true meaning of this simple word. I said ‘simple’ because we always use it when we have someone we are interested in.

Can it be an automatic ‘pop up’ when feeling between two different parties meet and engulf each other, creating a bond that we mistake for love?

 

Lesson From Love Story

A long time ago, there was a small boy who loved his best friend, a girl from the neighboring homestead.

They were good friends and spent most of their time together…only evening hours separated the two young love birds.

They grew up into maturity, knowing nothing about reality of love because they were good friends and same goes to love. They ended up married.

One day an opportunity arose for the man, he got a job in a town… and this forced them to move in town, away from their rural home.

Later, the wife got a job in a certain firm and the two lived a happy but simple life.

Temptations and Love

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One day, the devil sent his angel of doom to deliver  the message to the wife…’You have no experience in real life.. you have been with one man all your life. Try something new

At first, she thought that the ‘other guy’ will give up the search for her heart. But as pressure intensified, she had no choice but to give in into his demands. She started cheating and ended up leaving her husband to the new man.

Her mother being a religious person tried to convince her to leave her ways of life but all attempts hit the dead end.

The sad reality was that her new found lover was HIV positive. The damage was done and there was no way into her marriage bed once again.

Even though her husband loved her…, he could do nothing about it because things were never the same again. He moved on with his life.

A sad love story, isn’t it? Better watch a movie, Confessions Of A Marriage counselor

Now, what is that one thing that constitutes True Love?

Is it wealth and riches?

Does it mean searching, experiencing and learning something new until the day you settle for that special someone with all love qualities you like?

Or it is all about accepting you fate and learning to live with it no matter what!

I do not know that you are thinking, but I guess you have already found your answer.

 

Happy time in Love..

 

Parenting Issues -Dealing With a Defiant Child

dealing with a defiant child

dealing with a defiant child

At times in family life, you may find your child doing mistakes many often and does not want to change for good.

The strategies of dealing with such a child are:

  1. You hold your child accountable.

-This is to make your child know that he/she is wrong.

-The child needs to know the family rules and this will make a child to know what is expected of him/her.

-You should sit down with your child and tell him or her what is acceptable or not in the family. This can for example be avoiding use of abusive language or treating others with respect.

 

  1. If a child goes wrong, act but do not overreact that is may be fight or make noise.

-Don’t be angry with your child and cool your temper.

-Calmly tell your child that you do not approve of the behavior and you will deal with this later. Such an action will make the child to think things over again, about what he/she has really done.

3. Enforce age appropriate consequence.

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-You should be aware that an 8-year old child is different from that of 20-year old.

-This can involve taking something from your child once a mistake is done.

-Grounding your child from certain activities or from accessing electronic devices.

4. Keep your power

-It is good to stand your ground as a parent and for a child as the child.

-Do not argue with your child because if this happens you are just giving the child more power of

over the situation.

-Even if your child wants to argue, do not allow this and make it clear to the child that there are

consequences for any wrong done.

5. No second chances or bargaining.

– If a child does repeated mistakes take action so that they see the seriousness in it.

6. Always build on the positive actions or attitudes of the child.

-You should praise your child for a positive behavior or even reward for something good done.

7. Set regular time to talk to your children so that you know how a child can change.

Happy parenting!

 

Evaluating a Romantic Relationship on whether it’s Healthy or Not

Love toast

Love toast

So many factors can determine the future of a healthy romantic relationship. It is upon the lovebirds to weigh and see the future of their love without straining so hard to fit well with someone–

1. In school

-For those in school is whether your partner encourages in anything concerning studies For example giving past papers for revision?

-Have ones grades improved or fallen since the start of this relationship.

-Is there missing of school due to the relationship with this person.

2. Physical health

-Has one limited the extra-curriculum activities so that one can spend time with his/her partner?

-IS there any contraction of sexually transmitted infections from this person?

-For those in the university, has one had any injuries due to any fights involved with a partner?

-Is there a case of any unwanted pregnancy as a result of this relationship?

3. Emotional health

-For those in the university, does one feel better or worse since entering in this relationship?

-Is one more stressed or even having a low self-esteem since the beginning of the relationship?

-Is there trouble in sleeping?

4. [perform_ad w=”auto” utg=”true” utt=”true”]Use of drugs and alcohol[/perform_ad]

-Is there increased use of alcohol or smoking because of the relationship?

-Does one drinking or use drugs to be more comfortable in the relationship?

5. Family and friends

-Has the relationship affected how one relates with friends and family members?

-How do your families feel about the relationship?

-What comments from friends concerning the relationship?

-How do friends feel about the partner?

-How does the partner talk about one’s family?

-Has one grown apart from family due to the relationship?

Is there any element of jealousy to one’s family by the partner?

-Is there spending time separately or there is mingling even with family and friends?

The above factors help one to gauge if a relationship is moving towards the right direction, and that is if the answers are positive.

Be happy in love

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