Don’t be amazed that your competitors reside in the very place where you lay your head. Don’t be amazed who will try to knock you down. We have to understand that these things will occur. It even says it in the bible. Jeremiah 12:6 says’ “For even your brothers and the household of your father. Even they have dealt treacherously with you. Even they cried aloud you. Do not believe them although they may say nice things to you.”
When there’s something to compete with or against. People will do some crazy things. They will try their best to get next to you in some way. When we analyze closely we can find some wrong in each action that’s inside and outside the home. If a mother for instance is trying to separate a husband and wife then she is wrong. It doesn’t matter how many issues they have or if the daughter comes to her mother for advice. She is not in any position to dictate the marriage. A husband shouldn’t go against his mother in law and although differences will arise. Everyone should come to an agreement.
The whole house will shake and become dysfunctional when everyone is trying to compete for a position. If the husband is placed on the sidelines and the mother in law is placed in front then there will be chaos because that is out of order. Even if a husband is projecting unhealthy behaviors. He is not to be removed without removing himself or the wife asking him to remove himself. Any family member that tries to step in front of the husband’s position are in the wrong no matter how right they think they are. People claim to know the word but will refuse to put it in action. Family should be there for one another but they shouldn’t try to create chaos with immediate family members. First it’s God, husband and wife, then it’s the children. All other relatives are after and not before.
Competition can be dangerous. People tend to lose themselves in it. They won’t care who they knock down to win. It’s not about winning. It’s about getting better or at least making attempts to get better. Can you imagine trying to excel in something and your relatives can’t handle it? They may try every avenue to make sure they’re in a position to receive something. What do you do in that case? The best thing to do is to allow them to wear themselves out. Yes, let them carry on trying to compete, and the one in the middle should continue doing what it takes to make progress.
The bible will speak greatly about husband and wife. It expresses that the husband shall leave both mother and father and cleave to thy wife. Life experience will teach us why God said what he said about husband and wife. Family members will get out of order and try to push the husband out as if they will help the wife when the husband is gone. They’re trying to find a way to make sure they’re not left out of the equation. We have to live our lives and we’ll be miserable when we allow others to dictate our lives.
If you’re not invited in then don’t make your way in. It create a wedge between everyone when there’s one or two people trying to make sure they have a position for themselves. We will find that some family members will pretend to give so that they can receive whatever is coming. You know what to do in that case? Allow them to run themselves ragged and soon enough they realize their actions are foolish and their behavior is only causing whatever relationship there is to come to an end.
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Unfortunately a lot of mothers become so attached to their children’s lives, they feel the need to control, and cripple them. This prevents men from taking charge of their marriages and their lives. They have difficulties letting go of the apron strings. Men should have close bonds with their mothers but they shouldn’t allow their mothers to control their lives.
Matthew 19:5 states, “and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
When husbands put their mothers in front of their wives they devalue their wives. It leaves the wife feeling unappreciated and as if she can not compete with the mother. No wife should have to compete with a mother. It will cause a rift in the marriage and things could spiral out of control. Some men may feel as if their mothers should be catering to their every need and that could be one of the reasons mothers feel as if they’re allowed to control their children’s lives. It’s not just husbands who have to deal with this. Daughters as well.
It’s not easy for children to stand up to their mother or father but one can do it in a respectful way. It’s crippling when a man and woman depend on their mother for everything. That can create a detachment in the marriage. The union could feel turbulence. The couple may have to seek therapy if they want the marriage to survive. Mothers shouldn’t be isolated but they shouldn’t make their children feel guilty for loving their spouse. .
There’s a lot of pressure on a son that feels the need to please their mother. He has to deal with the mother, wife, and children. It’s not fair all on ends but their has to be a balance. Men who still have the apron strings won’t know how to release the attachments. They may feel that their lose all the rewards if they stand firm. No mother should make their child feel guilty for uniting with their spouse and especially those who call themselves “Women of God.” Allow the union to come together and if it’s not meant to be then it won’t last. “Love” your sons and daughter but don’t invade in their marriage.
The divorce rates are high, probably because it’s easier to get a divorce, and because people aren’t willing to make amends. Marriage is work. It’s a better for worse kind of union. An argument or arguments shouldn’t send people to divorce court, it has to be something drastic to cause one to want a divorce, God doesn’t like divorce and He would rather we try our very best to hold the marriage together.
Another reason why marriages fade away have to do with the reasons for marrying. Some people marry because of physical attraction. That is something that most likely won’t last. The physical can fade and when it does then that person will search for the next physical thing. Some marry for money, if that happens, the person with the money will lose the person if the money is no longer there. If one doesn’t marry for love then the changes of the union holding together will be slim. People can learn to love one another and that can take some time.
Couples who have different views may find themselves at war with one another. Until there’s mutual understanding, the marriage will continuously fade, and in time it will be dissolved. It’s important that praying couples continue to pray, reading the bible, and taking time to connect with one another. The best thing that married couples can do is to go to bed without being angry. Set aside the differences and make up before you both lay your heads on the pillow.
It’s time to build stronger marriages and love endlessly. Sometimes we go through deep trials and we consider giving up but it may not be a good idea. Trying to work out a marriage is a good thing, some marriages can’t be saved, and others can be salvaged through dedication. Both parties have to want it. You never know what you will find if you leave the marriage. You could find yourself in worse shape if you did. Pray for your marriage and allow God to guide you through it.
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