The History of my Nervousness?
I hate being nervous ever since I was aware that it is happening to me. As far as I remember, when I was young, I was not like this. I know I get nervous but only when my parents were fighting at home. The shouts and physical fights make me nervous because two people you love have a big misunderstanding. I also don’t know what happens next. I hate the feeling of not able to breathe comfortably, the body shaking, feeling weak, feeling uncertain, feeling scared because of uncertainties and of course, I am upset. Once I get upset, it sets my body to feel nervous.
The reason for my Nervousness
There are lots of reason to share to you why I get nervous but these are just a few of it.
- I get nervous when I don’t know what to do. Some people worry when they don’t know what to do, yet when it is about me, I get nervous. I get nervous before I get to worry. I worry and then the feeling of nervousness doubled.
- I get nervous about uncertainties. For example, I received a missed call from someone I know, I get nervous. I do not get curious, I get nervous instantly. I am thinking what reason for a person to call me when they can text me anytime. Every time I received a missed call, it leaves me the impression that it is an urgent matter and someone wants to talk to me immediately.
- I get nervous when I did something wrong and I didn’t mean it. Some people will feel upset when they made a mistake, me, I will feel nervous. I worry what other people will say about me and what I did. I feel nervous if that person will able to forgive me or give me a chance for something.
- I get nervous with loud voices and loud sound, even if it sounds happy. Again, people might get curious first, but I am shaking of nervousness once I overheard it. Mostly in my neighborhood, there are people talking to each other that they sound like having a misunderstanding already but when you listen carefully, they are just regularly talking.
Pet Peeves: Nervousness
Because of everything is written above, I treat nervousness as one of the things that are making me annoyed and irritating. This is something that is not helping me as a person and I wish to know something that will able to help me to work it out.
Photo from Pixabay
One thing that I can’t forget during my time at school was when I was in my secondary school and I have this seatmate who always blame people around her with whatever bad happens to her. Unfortunately, our surname starts with letter G, so we were always together. Whenever the odds was with her, she will blame me not to make her remember something. It always left a shock on my face because I never get involved with her decision and in the first place, I hardly know she was up to something. I don’t want to get friends with her and that includes not talking to her either. Most of the people I talked with were those in front of me and at my back. I never talk on the right part because she is the first person on it. I don’t want to make friends with her, I don’t want to know anything about her.
One day, I exploded when she blamed me that she did not finish her assignment. She told everyone that she was borrowing my notes one day and I do not let her. I can’t take the pressure of her and the lying of course, so I shouted at her and let her prove what she was saying. She said that she was borrowing my notes in a specific subject and she even mentioned a specific day. I asked her if she knows where I was on that specific day before she made sure she was telling the truth. Some of my classmates defended me that I was in a sports fest on that day so how it is possible for both of us meet? She was left there with a shock on her face. I even dropped down some scenarios from the past that she even got me involved when I was not there. She cannot prove anything. When she was put in the spotlight, she cried and walked out. A round of applaused were heard after. I learned that she was not doing that to me alone. A lot of classmates have become her victim.
That afternoon, I went to their house to let her mother know and I even said that if her daughter will not change her treatment on us, then I will file a complaint together with our classmate to get her expelled. At that age, I don’t know what courage I have to do it, but maybe because of the pressure she was giving me that it forced me to do it. It needs to stops. Her act is bothering and discriminating.
I wonder where is she now. On my third year, I learned that she stops schooling. Some people were gossiping about her being pregnant that is why she did not come back to school.
Photo from Pixbay
I made this blog to talk about my life and other’s life. Mostly, this blog will talk more about my day to day life, activities and rants. I will also share some good news, good food, good strategy, good information, something that will make you grin, smile, weep and feel you and me are no difference.
I used rollercoaster to describe my life. Sometimes you are UP and sometimes you are DOWN. It is happening on me now and I am going insane. I love to receive some advices, most especially if you will able to share your stories with me too. I love true to life sufferings, not because I love sufferings, but I love learning that despite the struggles a person is very willing to get out of it. That they will do everything just to escape it.
I love stories about growing their maturity by learning their mistakes. There are lots of different stories about problems and solutions. I love sharing this on this blog. I will also be honest with myself because I have been through a lot with life but I think my maturity is down under. When it comes to problems, I still feel that I am some kind of childish. I should look on the brighter side of life, even though everything is dark. That is something I want to learn.
In a day, I have lots of ups and down. I want to get used to it. I want to accept the downfall of my life to be able to deeply appreciate whatever the reason for me to get UP. I want to appreciate the good in life, my dreams, I want to make my goal happen, I want to help people, I want to learn from people. Everything I want to learn, learning and learned will be included in the too personal blog of mine.
Photo from Pixabay