Again, over and over again, it happened. There is no perfect day, there are no perfect people, there is no perfect family, there is no perfect life. Perfect is only a word that describes a good aspect from your good judgement. It means only you can describe it in your own way from the way you perceive things. A certain thing might look perfect on you, but not on others. It depends on your own understanding with life.
I already anticipate there is a catch for everything. Maybe I am negative, but here’s my thing. If a certain situation gives me happiness and I feel it is almost perfect to me, I almost jump from the joy that I am feeling, I know there is a catch, and everything will be turned the other way. In our Filipino language, I am thinking it is just a “Patikim”. Patikim means something that let you tastes it but it will put away from you immediately. I don’t know if I gave justice to the meaning, but that is the meaning of Patikim.
I am focusing in general, to all the good results that happened and was given to me. They are all gone now. I am not sure if I handled it wrong. I know I loved it, I did everything to make it last, but it didn’t last, it was not completely given, even the good feelings I had about it suddenly disappear. It slips my hand though I know I was holding it tightly.
You might be receiving something now, feel it. Take care of it. Don’t lose it. I did everything but I still lose it. It is not really for me. I remembered enjoying while it was for me, but some good things never last. Good things are meant to lose, that is the real deal.
Photo from Pixabay
I just posted a topic about mixed feelings. My life will change tomorrow. My schedule for sure will change too. I am a person who needs a much longer rest from now on. If there will be changes like I will not start this week, you know what I will feel happy about it. Maybe I am not ready at all this week, or maybe my laziness is controlling my decision. I am not really happy, but I am grateful. I prayed for this one and God gave me the best for me, I know. I don’t want to promise but because I have a big fear of not saving money, a big fear of not able to be ready for an emergency and scared of not having a life change, I know I will not waste this wonderful opportunity.
A lot of people had supported me, guided me, my best friend even gave her savings for me just to be able to help me, I will not waste the help these people had given me. All of your prayers, I am thankful. You help me reach this, I will not let you down. However, I cannot lie to myself. I cannot deny I am not happy. This happiness doesn’t have any percent like 50% happy, 75%, can’t measure. All I know that this moment, 5:51 in the morning, I am not happy.
Later on, the feelings will change. I know I will feel glad, nervous, scared, then happy, I really don’t know, but right now, I am not happy. I know God knows what I really feel right now. Maybe I already adjusted myself not to celebrate the good news. Or maybe the true happiness is just inside me. I will let it go once it is sure. I don’t want to celebrate. Life has to move on and still life is full of struggle so I will just live a day.
Do I sound weird?
Photo from Pixabay
I made this blog to talk about my life and other’s life. Mostly, this blog will talk more about my day to day life, activities and rants. I will also share some good news, good food, good strategy, good information, something that will make you grin, smile, weep and feel you and me are no difference.
I used rollercoaster to describe my life. Sometimes you are UP and sometimes you are DOWN. It is happening on me now and I am going insane. I love to receive some advices, most especially if you will able to share your stories with me too. I love true to life sufferings, not because I love sufferings, but I love learning that despite the struggles a person is very willing to get out of it. That they will do everything just to escape it.
I love stories about growing their maturity by learning their mistakes. There are lots of different stories about problems and solutions. I love sharing this on this blog. I will also be honest with myself because I have been through a lot with life but I think my maturity is down under. When it comes to problems, I still feel that I am some kind of childish. I should look on the brighter side of life, even though everything is dark. That is something I want to learn.
In a day, I have lots of ups and down. I want to get used to it. I want to accept the downfall of my life to be able to deeply appreciate whatever the reason for me to get UP. I want to appreciate the good in life, my dreams, I want to make my goal happen, I want to help people, I want to learn from people. Everything I want to learn, learning and learned will be included in the too personal blog of mine.
Photo from Pixabay