Save the Best For Last Moments

Again, over and over again, it happened. There is no perfect day, there are no perfect people, there is no perfect family, there is no perfect life. Perfect is only a word that describes a good aspect from your good judgement. It means only you can describe it in your own way from the way you perceive things. A certain thing might look perfect on you, but not on others. It depends on your own understanding with life.

I already anticipate there is a catch for everything. Maybe I am negative, but here’s my thing. If a certain situation gives me happiness and I feel it is almost perfect to me, I almost jump from the joy that I am feeling, I know there is a catch, and everything will be turned the other way. In our Filipino language, I am thinking it is just a “Patikim”. Patikim means something that let you tastes it but it will put away from you immediately. I don’t know if I gave justice to the meaning, but that is the meaning of Patikim.

I am focusing in general, to all the good results that happened and was given to me. They are all gone now. I am not sure if I handled it wrong. I know I loved it, I did everything to make it last, but it didn’t last, it was not completely given, even the good feelings I had about it suddenly disappear. It slips my hand though I know I was holding it tightly.

You might be receiving something now, feel it. Take care of it. Don’t lose it. I did everything but I still lose it. It is not really for me. I remembered enjoying while it was for me, but some good things never last. Good things are meant to lose, that is the real deal.


Photo from Pixabay

Why do I have the Feeling that I don’t like it?

I just posted a topic about mixed feelings. My life will change tomorrow. My schedule for sure will change too. I am a person who needs a much longer rest from now on. If there will be changes like I will not start this week, you know what I will feel happy about it. Maybe I am not ready at all this week, or maybe my laziness is controlling my decision. I am not really happy, but I am grateful. I prayed for this one and God gave me the best for me, I know. I don’t want to promise but because I have a big fear of not saving money, a big fear of not able to be ready for an emergency and scared of not having a life change, I know I will not waste this wonderful opportunity.

A lot of people had supported me, guided me, my best friend even gave her savings for me just to be able to help me, I will not waste the help these people had given me. All of your prayers, I am thankful. You help me reach this, I will not let you down. However, I cannot lie to myself. I cannot deny I am not happy. This happiness doesn’t have any percent like 50% happy, 75%, can’t measure. All I know that this moment, 5:51 in the morning, I am not happy.

Later on, the feelings will change. I know I will feel glad, nervous, scared, then happy, I really don’t know, but right now, I am not happy. I know God knows what I really feel right now. Maybe I already adjusted myself not to celebrate the good news. Or maybe the true happiness is just inside me. I will let it go once it is sure. I don’t want to celebrate. Life has to move on and still life is full of struggle so I will just live a day.

Do I sound weird?


Photo from Pixabay

Life is Indeed a Rollercoaster

I made this blog to talk about my life and other’s life. Mostly, this blog will talk more about my day to day life, activities and rants. I will also share some good news, good food, good strategy, good information, something that will make you grin, smile, weep and feel you and me are no difference.

I used rollercoaster to describe my life. Sometimes you are UP and sometimes you are DOWN. It is happening on me now and I am going insane. I love to receive some advices, most especially if you will able to share your stories with me too. I love true to life sufferings, not because I love sufferings, but I love learning that despite the struggles a person is very willing to get out of it. That they will do everything just to escape it.

I love stories about growing their maturity by learning their mistakes. There are lots of different stories about problems and solutions. I love sharing this on this blog. I will also be honest with myself because I have been through a lot with life but I think my maturity is down under. When it comes to problems, I still feel that I am some kind of childish. I should look on the brighter side of life, even though everything is dark. That is something I want to learn.

In a day, I have lots of ups and down. I want to get used to it. I want to accept the downfall of my life to be able to deeply appreciate whatever the reason for me to get UP. I want to appreciate the good in life, my dreams, I want to make my goal happen, I want to help people, I want to learn from people. Everything I want to learn, learning and learned will be included in the too personal blog of mine.


Photo from Pixabay