How my Faith Helping me with my Illness?

A good friend said “You might not have funds, but you have another F and that is Faith. Faith will bring you to solving your problem”

The one that told me the exact message above is one of my good friend and online earner too. She said she have no funds to help me back up and she is worrying too on how can she helped me. I told her to always pray. She always send me a message on Facebook, asking about my condition. She wants to be always updated. I told her everything that is happening to me and we have a daily conversation. I told her that everyday and everyday, there are different people that is helping me with prayers, concern, on how to get helped and sending me little of their money through gold points, tips, Paypal etc. And then she told me that lines, that my faith is very powerful, my prayers are moving mountains that I always find people to help me, in everyday of my life.

I always ask, “Please pray for me, please continue to pray for me” because I always pray.I always pray for myself, for the personal request of other people, for other people to continue praying for me, I have all the time to pray. I guess this thing that I consistently do made my faith become so powerful that even without that big funds in front of me, people are accumulating whatever they have and giving it to me. All help counts, everything counts!

My faith became my full medicine. Early in the morning I am talking to God already. I am asking him what will happen to me for today. That if ever it will be a full bleeding I able to be awake to get some help. I am praying that one day the bleeding will stop and there are days that I do not have bleeding at all. I am asking Wisdom will be given to me, to fully understand what is happening and to accept that everything is for temporary. My faith is being tested at the moment but I choose to fight and believe in my faith because I know I will collapse if I don’t. I am strong now because of my faith. There will be days I find myself weak because I am crying but still I consider myself strong for I will wipe this tears and move on. It makes me braver, it makes me know the people who will stand by me, who will pray for me and will be forever concerned. With my faith I learned to know people around me and who will be sticking on me. Now I am loving life with this faith and will not give up to my invested faith because it is my bullet to survive.

Again, please pray for me!! I learned that I have a lot of friends that are truly concerned, thanks for this illness for I had come to know all the loving online earners/people!!

 

Image is mine. Adoration Chapel Landmark Mall Chapel,  Makati. Philippines

As I Grew Older, I Get Emotional

I have to tell you that I was not that emotional before. When I was young, I have a heart of stone, maybe because that is what I should be expressing. Everyone around me, here in our neighborhood are gossipers and judgemental. Once they see you cry, it means you are weak and that is their lame impression about crying. I only cried in bed, when I cannot hold the tears anymore. Even at home, I can’t cry, I can’t be emotional. I need to show to my family how they transformed me to be person full of strength. However, I think I lied.

I know I am strong and I could be even stronger. I have been through a lot of challenges and I able to surpass it. Even if I have a lot of problems facing at present, I know I will choose to fight for my life and learn from all of this.

I observed recently that I becoming emotional. Even if I do not cry at times I feel it, I know I am crying inside. I don’t have time to cry, but I have time to feel it inside me on my waking hours. I thought I should have a heart of stone, much mightier that I have before, stronger and harder. I am not seeing myself being the one anymore. I am no longer that person. I am easy to get hurt. When I get hurt, I choose my words and I choose the person who can able to know it. I do not let it all out without thinking a lot of times. I mostly keep it, that is why I can tell how emotional I am.

I am not liking this and I am questioning myself why I lead to this. Maybe the number of challenges lead me to losing faith that is why when there is pain, I just cry. It is tiring.

 

Photo from Pixabay.