I will not consider this post as a rant because I will not rant. I will just say how I feel and it does not include any violent reaction. I already get used to feeling useless. It becomes normal to me now. Whatever happening at present is a result of a wrong decision. Maybe I prioritized something that I thought will able to help a lot of people but I was wrong. Sometimes by helping the people around you will be the cause of your lost. You lose your life in the process of wrong decision. Unfortunately, those people you gave all the benefits fail to give something in return. That is why I learned the hard way of never rely on people immediately. I need to ask myself if I able to solve a problem on my own first and if there is no way I can solve it, then I need the people I can count on.
It hurts that the people you gave all your effort, to make their lives to be easy, to help solve their problems are the people making you feel you are useless at present. Instead of helping you with some words of wisdom, support and advises, they fail to do it and they are busy with their own lives because they cannot get anything from me anymore. Maybe “friend’s with benefits” or more than that. I learning on my own now and I want to be alone this time. If I choose to be quiet it is because I want to feel how they make me feel these past years. Maybe some of them don’t mean it, but I trust my instinct more, I know how I feel. I know what is true, I can feel it by their actions towards me. I will not waste my time thinking about them and this will be the last time that I will be having a good effort of talking about them.
Photo from Pixabay