Reasons to Rant and Be Grateful

I haven’t been blogging in here for such a long time. I know I visited the site last September 5, my birthday. I missed blogging in here and it becomes my way of breathing. Let me share you some of the roller coaster ride of my life. I am thinking what will I start first, could I start with negative or positive? I guess, I want to start with Positive News. Let us start.

Positive

I learned the site called Niume. I find friends that help me how to survived there but I can’t survive due to low visit on my blog. I am still positive I will get along with the site because it is always reminded me of Blogjob, but not in earning. I still prefer Blogjob and I still want to write in this site. I am still in love with this site.

I learned how to set aside negativity. I have to be honest that I am always been negative but during the busy hours that I am trying to make money, I set aside it. Even if I am hearing some arguments at home, I do not join. I rather put my earphone and play some music and set aside this kind of emotion. Negativity puts me down and it never stop from happening, but at least I learned how to set aside it the time that I need to be focus of what really matters.

I am earning $30 a month. It is less but I am still earning. This is still something to be grateful for.

I have been to a lot of pain. The pain is even more painful triple to what I had experienced before. I worked on my pain. I am not sure if I did fight, but I work on how to deal with it. Working on how to deal with pain doesn’t take away the pain, but it only helps you to move on when there is no pain anymore and deal with it when it is there again.

God is looking down on me. He is checking on me I know. During the times I am scared, I know he is whispering that there is nothing to be scared. Right now I am seriously wanting to improve my faith on him because I know I have less faith.

I believe I should start over, but I need help. Even if I am asking, I still need it. Right now I am learning to pray that someone will remember and not asking them directly.

 

 

Negative

Earning is less. No regular internet. I am using my mobile and try to earn within 3-4 hours. I am earning $30 a month. It is lesser to what I am needing in a month. $400 for medicine/hospital bills and $200 funds at home to help the family. I should be earning $600 a month. Some people are earning that, unfortunately I am not.

I had a spasm and doctors do not agree. They diagnosed it as mild stroke. I couldn’t believe but I know I had a lot of pain on my left arm, I cannot raised it and been to a lot of pain that had me bed ridden for quite a while.

I went to the doctor and doctors hate me, lol. I had to sign a waiver that I need to get out instead of being admitted. Is it lack of money or because I do not love myself anymore? I really don’t know. My course of action is to always sign a waiver and ask for prayers. I am a useless patient, but hey, I hate hospital, especially hospital bills. If I did not survive this illness, maybe that is what supposed to happen.

Tinycents, another online sites did not pay some pending payments. I am member of that. Tinycents reminds me of Bubblews and I never thought even with Payments. It seems that the owner doesn’t care and that’s really irritate me. You know what, even if a site failed to pay its member a transparency post is needed. Transparency post like Blogbourne did. This post is like admitting to the members what is really happening with the site. An owner who is honest gets sympathy and that is what I am looking for. It even made them stop the some mean reviews about their site if they are being honest with what is the problem the site is facing. They can even get some people to help them on how to solve the problem. However, they remain silent and wishing people will forget. You are big wrong.

Friends stop helping me with supplying money for medicine, even to those who are always promising. I do not blame them. They have their own life to deal with and I am just a mosquito flying around them. I will also stop contacting them not because of bitterness, but because I don’t want them to remember me as a person who is always asking for money. They will surely receive a greeting in the coming holidays, but I will not mentioned about money. I am not their responsibility. It is hurting me, but it will be okay.

Standing on my own, when I can’t literally stand, lol, is my decision right now. It is hard yet this is what I need. I need to stand alone when no one else is there to help me. Is this negative? Maybe for now but the time comes I am thanking myself for this decision.

 

Do not pity me. I need prayers more. I need to survive this like you who is struggling with life also. We all have our problems to deal with and let us pray for each other.

Image credit: https://pixabay.com/en/figure-iraqis-the-water-s-edge-1769769/

I Miss You Blogjob!

I miss you. I went to the hospital earlier. I was blogging on my phone and then I cried. I was blogging because I thought I will able to post it on it, but then I realized it suspends the rewards. I really and literally shook my head from doing that. I never thought this one will happen to me.

I am sad, I want to blog this but I choose to have it in here so that everyone online will able to see. You had helped me a lot of times from my medicine. If you are up, I should not be asking everyone to donate me their points, their gold points, I don’t have to have an account at some crowdfunding sites to ask for people to please donate money. I don’t have to ask for help to other people to accompany me to go to Philippine charity sweepstakes office to ask for money. I will be needing that money next week for surgery. I have liver laceration and internal bleeding because of the laceration. I will be losing blood if the laceration will not be fix, so I need the surgery.

I am not blaming this site. I am just here because I miss it and everything that we do here. I know Sheridan and company are doing their best about the site, that is why we need not to give up. Even we have not heard anything from you guys, any updates whatsoever, we are still hoping the site will come back. We love the site, I miss the site and I miss the earnings too. I know if it will come back, things will change, but I just pray that it will come back once again.

This site had helped me with life. I have a lot of rants in my blog. If this site was not around during that time, I do not have any idea how to survived it. I had a lot of problems and the site is my online site that I could turn too, that I know there are lots of people will able to understand me because they were facing the same problem before or maybe at present. I meet a lot of wonderful individual, i put lots of my best friends in here, I met wonderful individual, I met the smartest one, the most helpful, the friendly, the goofy, this become my everything.

I understand what happened. I accepted it. I will also accept whatever decision the owner want on the site, but it will not change what I know about it. This site became a friend, a savior, a second home, a critique, a learning path and experience path as well. It became my guidance with life, it helps me to accept decision, change decision, it makes me strong, it makes me know more about myself. It is truly part of my whole life right now and so as you I know.

Sorry for this long post. I just went to the hospital and got to received a bad news, please pray for me and then I missed it. I really miss it. I missed Sheridan’s kindness, him for always being helpful and approachable. I give all my respect to the site, even to the last days of my life… no I am not dying. I will survive this, I will fight for my life and you will help me with your prayers.

I love this site so much and Sheridan as well. Just want to say this now. I don’t have any one to talk too, so I am writing…. see you back, I hope it is SOON….

Please pray for me!!! Thank you!!

Fall Short of a Goal

Because I have fever since last Friday, like June 3 to be exact, I was staying home the whole time. I decided to have a goal at my call review site and my goal is to reach $70 this week, just to make up to the salary I should be completing for the next week. However, because I am not feeling well, I fall short. I am half of it, but not near the amount. I can only work for 6 hours a day because my head is aching every time I look at the computer screen. Most of the time while reviewing calls, I close my eyes. Take note, I was reviewing calls while lying in bed, that is why I will just find myself waking up while the laptop is on and there is a call waiting for my tag. Also, another disadvantage is that, when you are ill, you cannot comprehend easily. I felt I lost my hearing or maybe I really can’t understand the conversation because of high temperature.

Now, I only have $43.79 as I am doing this blog. I know it will increase a little later on tonight but I am sure a dollar will only be added that I could consider I fall short to my $70 goal. I am not feeling bad about this as I am avoiding to feel that way. I rather look on the good things that I realized while doing this goal and I will truly save that experienced.

First, I learned that on my favorite Category, the volume of calls is high during Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, Philippine Time. I remember reviewing calls, not consistently though, up until 7 in the evening, last Tuesday and Wednesday. On Thursday, the calls are there up until 4 in the afternoon. Friday, at 1 in the afternoon and today, Saturday, I think it will be for 10 am. Later on tonight, I know the calls will start at 11 in the evening based on my experiences. I will be staying up in the morning, until my body can handle to add to my earnings.

I also keep tracking of my earnings per hour. My highest earnings is $1.49 and my lowest is $0.64. I am averaging $1.065 an hour. If I will consistently working for 10 hours, with accuracy I will be getting $10.60. For a week, with consistency still, I could get $53, not counted the reviews on Saturday night and Sunday, if there is.

Now, I realized, I need to adjust my goal because $70 is unrealistic to what I am earning on the average. That is good to know. I appreciate the experience.

Humanatic Earning June 11, Sat morning
Humanatic Earning June 11, Sat morning

 

 

Photo from Pixabay

https://pixabay.com/en/goal-football-goal-net-sport-1141472/

 

Remember to Always Charge your Mobile Phone

Past 2 in the morning electricity was out. When I checked on my phone, I only have 20% of battery charged. Once it went down to 15%, it will signals that it is a low battery. Good thing that the power came back after 30 minutes because if not then I will suffer a lot. I know this even before and I kept on telling myself before you go to bed, if you see your mobile has a low battery, charge it already, but it seems this is the perfect example of making the same mistake again.

Why do I need to charge my phone every time I go to sleep?

To not charge it in the morning. If I have time in the morning, I will charge it but most of the time I don’t so I need to charge before sleeping at night.

So that when there is a power outage, and I don’t know when the power will return, at least I have something to use. I can use it for texting when I get bored, but mostly know because I am lame when it comes to texting. I can use it for reading PDF novel saved on my phone. I can use it for listening to music. I can use it to check some photos. I can use it to do an advance draft and saved it on my KEEP file. I can use it for watching my videos saved there. I can use it as a flashlight. I can use the Radio and turn on the FM radio and listen to music. I can even play games there, but I haven’t download anything. I can use my mobile load and check the internet quickly.

Mostly, mobile phones are used to entertain you when you get bored. If it is out of power, then how can you enjoy it?

Photo from Pixabay

https://pixabay.com/en/iphone-smartphone-apps-apple-inc-410324/

Save the Best For Last Moments

Again, over and over again, it happened. There is no perfect day, there are no perfect people, there is no perfect family, there is no perfect life. Perfect is only a word that describes a good aspect from your good judgement. It means only you can describe it in your own way from the way you perceive things. A certain thing might look perfect on you, but not on others. It depends on your own understanding with life.

I already anticipate there is a catch for everything. Maybe I am negative, but here’s my thing. If a certain situation gives me happiness and I feel it is almost perfect to me, I almost jump from the joy that I am feeling, I know there is a catch, and everything will be turned the other way. In our Filipino language, I am thinking it is just a “Patikim”. Patikim means something that let you tastes it but it will put away from you immediately. I don’t know if I gave justice to the meaning, but that is the meaning of Patikim.

I am focusing in general, to all the good results that happened and was given to me. They are all gone now. I am not sure if I handled it wrong. I know I loved it, I did everything to make it last, but it didn’t last, it was not completely given, even the good feelings I had about it suddenly disappear. It slips my hand though I know I was holding it tightly.

You might be receiving something now, feel it. Take care of it. Don’t lose it. I did everything but I still lose it. It is not really for me. I remembered enjoying while it was for me, but some good things never last. Good things are meant to lose, that is the real deal.

 

Photo from Pixabay

https://pixabay.com/en/bench-holiday-rest-moment-555947/

Wasted Time Waiting for Calls

Last night, after blogging, I decided to sleep at 1 in the morning. I set the alarm and woke up at 4. I started reviewing calls. At first, the calls were slow to download, until it is no calls already. I am sure that each category has lots of calls as I can view it, but when you get to the part that you listen to calls, it didn’t drop and it hang. Sometimes the download of calls will stop in the middle. Thinking that I was experiencing it alone, I checked our group if there are people experiencing the same. I learned that I am not the only one. Some are getting back to bed and will try to review calls later on.

I still tried. I tried for 4 hours. I only earned more than a dollar, I don’t remember. After learning what I only earned, it caused me to panic because I am trying to meet a quota. While the call was hanging, I was computing on what amount I need to meet, until I got frustrated waiting for calls to download, I exited the site and tried to sleep.

I failed to sleep because I felt my temperature increased again. I checked my temperature and it is 38.3. I have a fever again. I ate breakfast and drink paracetamol. I tried to have a sleep, but I can’t sleep. I know I did plan to get out today to get a health ID but I cancelled it because I don’t have money and of course, I have a fever again. Unfortunately, I cannot rest. My mind starts to wander. I keep thinking about my quota earning on my review calls and now I did not meet it again. I am too far from the amount I need to meet. I dislike that when I plan something, there will be some distractions from the universe that will ruin it. It happens to me all the time.

Photo from Pixabay

 

https://pixabay.com/en/view-outlook-outdoor-nature-788378/

Life is Indeed a Rollercoaster

I made this blog to talk about my life and other’s life. Mostly, this blog will talk more about my day to day life, activities and rants. I will also share some good news, good food, good strategy, good information, something that will make you grin, smile, weep and feel you and me are no difference.

I used rollercoaster to describe my life. Sometimes you are UP and sometimes you are DOWN. It is happening on me now and I am going insane. I love to receive some advices, most especially if you will able to share your stories with me too. I love true to life sufferings, not because I love sufferings, but I love learning that despite the struggles a person is very willing to get out of it. That they will do everything just to escape it.

I love stories about growing their maturity by learning their mistakes. There are lots of different stories about problems and solutions. I love sharing this on this blog. I will also be honest with myself because I have been through a lot with life but I think my maturity is down under. When it comes to problems, I still feel that I am some kind of childish. I should look on the brighter side of life, even though everything is dark. That is something I want to learn.

In a day, I have lots of ups and down. I want to get used to it. I want to accept the downfall of my life to be able to deeply appreciate whatever the reason for me to get UP. I want to appreciate the good in life, my dreams, I want to make my goal happen, I want to help people, I want to learn from people. Everything I want to learn, learning and learned will be included in the too personal blog of mine.

 

Photo from Pixabay