Today, I am celebrating my birthday, however, I am not celebrating. I am just treating this date as remembering my birth date and that’s it. There is nothing special at home. There is no special greetings, no celebration, no food preparation. It is just a normal day. The only difference is, it is my birthday.
There are people celebrating their birthday today as well. I hope they are happy. I am not happy, but I am grateful. I have 3 of my friends greeted me earlier. Two of my relatives click the like button on my post at Facebook. Other than that, the greetings came from my parents and my brother. My sister already greeted me last night. I received greetings for my dog, but I am not sure if they are aware about what is happening. They are wiggling their tails, I hope they are happy for me.
Again, I am not happy. I even smirked when I am reading the word “Happy” on my birthday. I don’t want to fool myself, I am not happy. What I know is that, I am grateful. I went to Adoration Chapel on the church near my place and give thanks to God to all of the blessings he had given to me. I also thank him for the life and the another chance to live. I am ill, but I am not dying. There will be times that I will be having a good life. I am wishing for a good life. Even if my dreams will not come true, I just wish that my loved ones do. I am not looking forward actually. I am just praying for the safety of my family, that there will be someone that will provide their needs. I even did not prayed for my condition. Maybe I am losing hope, but I know God will work miracles for me, but I wish not to anticipate anything.
Yes, I know you feel negative about this post, but again, I told you, I don’t want to fool myself. It is my birthday. I have all the right to be true about what I feel.
Before I forgot, I want to thank Sheridan for all the help he had done to me, financially. He is a blessing to me. That is why I wish the site will come back. I miss everything. I miss the earning, I miss my hard work, I miss having to blog comfortably, I miss my friends here, I miss my old life. I guess this is part of my depression.
I will not stay negative I know. Time will tell. But right now, let me be true to myself.
Today is my day, I am Grateful. Thanks to God. Thanks Sheridan, thanks to all of my online friends, thanks to Blogjob, thanks to online earnings!!
Image credit: https://pixabay.com/en/balloons-party-girl-happy-walking-388973/