I was reading a BlogJob forum topic yesterday about people that rant and rave in face-to-face conversation about annoying topics and do so repeatedly. My contribution to the discussion was stating that I like blogging because I can do this as much as I want and my readers can choose whether or not to come along for the ride. I happen to be a person that gets irritated by the same things over and over and need an outlet for working it out. One of the replies was asking if people that are responsible for their own woes and keep griping about the same old things ever learn.
I agree with her to a point because it takes the patience of a saint to listen to the same old same old. We’ll call the same old same old a mistake for the purpose of this writing. While hearing about these mistakes repatedly can be enough to make you want to throttle your conversation partner (not that I recommend following through on that), maybe all the mistakes that people make aren’t really mistakes and are more of an experiment to see if different people react similarly so that maybe eventually you learn why the mistake is a mistake.
My mistake is in being a good friend, or rather that I don’t know how to be a good friend. I’ve often discussed the ins and outs/ poor me here (which is unfortunately relevant to this topic) so I’ll try not to go in-depth on it for this post. The only important part of my life sob story is that I’ve yet to learn how to be an involved but not stalker-y friend. I know there’s a secret to it because many people have friends, but I haven’t learned what it is. That’s the end of the repetitive content. The new part of this is where I consider why I seem to make the same mistakes with different friends. I wouldn’t call it a true experiment because I don’t follow the scientific method and I don’t consider it an experiment to begin with, but the end result of losing people because I don’t know how to be a good friend feels a lot like replication/repetition. I’m wondering if I keep making the same friendship mistakes because I’m trying to learn what makes them mistakes. I should add that even if I am experimenting with people and trying to learn what works from seeing what doesn’t work, it genuinely hurts when it’s over. That’s why I often rant and rage about the same old same old.
I wonder if there are other people in my position where we are experimenting in a sense but it’s still real (unlike a scientific experiment that we can manipulate) and that’s why we go on and on about it when it goes explode-y. Yes, that’s not an example of stellar terminology. No, I won’t choose a more “correct” word. “Explode-y” is one of the best ways to describe when our “mistakes” may not necessarily begin that way but quickly spiral out of control.
Thinking back to the BlogJob forum post, I understand the frustration my fellow bloggers feel being on the receiving end of the same vent over and over. I also see it from a different angle.