My Loan Application was Not Approved

My loan application was not approved. I sent a text message to the lending company but they told me that it was not approved. I could try to apply again next cut off.

I don’t know if I will cry or not. I don’t have tears anymore to shed. I have been crying for several days now. I feel weak and I can’t concentrate anymore to my work. Sadly, I need to finish all my reports but what can I do? I was struck by problems that I don’t know any more if I could handle it.

I needed the money because I needed to pay for the advance deposit and payment to our new rented house. We need to move to next week because I cannot pay our present house rental so I looked for a much cheaper house who is nearer to my work so I could save some money for my transportation back and forth.

I also need to pay for some loans that I already compromised with. Bills are piling up so fast I just can’t keep it up. I am now alone in striving for my mother and son.

The reason that my loan was not approve even if I am a good payer is that my former co-worker that I co-maker last year has been negligent in her payment terms. Her outstanding balance should have been settled as early as October 2015 but until now it was unpaid. So I think it’s the main reason why my loan was not approved because of her. She promised us that once she her get Maternity benefits she will settle her obligation. She already received her Social Security System Maternity benefit but she did not pay. She told me that she will do everything to pay it before March 31 but she only settled a partial payment of P2,800.00 so the lending company decided to hold my loan application until the time she settled it full.
So now, I am learning another lesson in a hard way and will suffer the consequences of being to helpful and kind.

No More Strength to Move

I spend my rest day yesterday sorting things, packing, cleaning, washing the clothes and cooking meals. I wanted to lie down and rest but time flew fast. If I will stop moving, then work will file up. I am the only one who is doing all the works. My mother is sick and my son can only do some small task. So I just let him play outside and I will just call him whenever I needed something for him to do.

My sister asked me to ship some of their things in Cebu. She had already separated those things that I will be shipping to them but the things that will be send to her in-laws has not been sort, packed and box. I was surprised that when I got home on Saturday afternoon that her sister-in-law arrived earlier than I am expecting her. So I just immediately set to do on packing their things.

They have so many papers, clothes, shoes, accessories and furniture that I ended up catching my breath. It took us close to three hours to pack half of their things. They brought a service utility van only and they promised to get half of it on the following week. So I’m contented that I could do all the packing the following days to come but to my surprise yesterday that they come again. So I help them to pack again. This time it took us only an hour to do it.

When they left, I realized that I have not given them all. I decided to check for other remaining things before contacting my sister’s in-laws.
Last night, I was so dead tired that I cannot move any single part of my body. I told my son that I cannot prepare dinner anymore because I don’t have strength left in my body. My son told me to just lie and rest. He just get himself and his grandmother a bread and a cheese spread.

Just a Thought for Today

Yesterday is my pay day. It is also my last payment for my loan for six months. I have been paying it for Two Thousand Five Hundred every pay day. I have been thinking twice if I will apply for another loan application because I really needed money to pay some of my debts and to finance our moving in to a new house.

I will be needing a large amount of money to pay for the advance payment and deposit. To pay for other expenses like the rented truck or jeepney, the people who will help us to carry our things back and forth and to buy some of the things that we will be needing in our new home.

I also need to pay our last consumption of water and electricity. My salary yesterday was already exhausted gone. I paid our electric bills and house rentals this morning before going to work. I also need to buy rice, food for cats, and other groceries items. It is really hard to budget all our needs.

I am planning for my son to attend summer camp just like what he did last year. I promised him too that I will enroll him in McDonalds Kiddie Crew Workshop. It is only four days and the registration fee is Six Hundred Fifty Pesos including the kit and the food. I am just checking the schedule so it will not conflict on my own.

It is really hard to juggle my time in doing my work, accepting part-time jobs, be a mother and do all the household chores. There are times after a day’s work that I just wanted to sleep right away without eating anything because my body wanted to but I can’t of course because my I don’t want my mother and son to get hungry.

I just wished that God will give me a healthy and strong body to do impossible things in the most possible ways.

Prizes that I’ve got this week

I am happy to receive my prizes in the different contests that I have joined for the past few weeks. It is really heart softening to see these items that makes me proud of myself. Joining contest has already in my system already that my day will not be complete if I can’t join even a single contest whether online or offline.

Here are the prizes that I have recently received:

1. I won a limited edition watch in SM Cinema for joining their promo in, The Divergent Series, Allegiant. I gave it to my son and he loves it.

2. I won a box of 6 pieces of Swift Premium corned beef cans. It’s our favorite and I really love it taste.

3. I received my gift certificate worth Five Hundred Pesos from SM Megamall to be use in Gerry’s Grill Restaurant. I am happy that I could use it in their Subic branch so I could treat my son. I checked their menu online to see their prices so I could plan ahead of time on what food to order.

4. I have received my gift certificate worth One Thousand Pesos from Robinsons Supermalls which I won in their Instagram contest promoting their Hot Summer Sale 2016. I was one of the lucky 20 winners. I have already used it to buy groceries supplies.

5. I have already used my discount coupons that I have received from Everyday Me, a website of Procter and Gambler company that gives free samples, prizes and coupons to their consumers and followers. I bought four bags of Ariel Detergent Powder, one big pouch of Joy dish washing Liquid and Downy Fabric Conditioner. It is a big savings for me and I feel so happy that I have used it.

I am happy for these blessings that I received this week. Although, it may be small to some people but for me it is a big blessings already.

Labor Inspection

I was a bit late this morning because run some errands before going to work. So when I arrived in the office Ma’am Lizalyn, our Accounting Clerk, informed me that the Labor Department will be conducting an inspection on Monday, April 4, 2016.

She gave me the checklist of required documents for labor standards inspection that I need to prepare on Monday. There’s no way that I could finish all of it on that day because I have another workload that I need to finish. So I called the Labor Department to ask if the scheduled date can be moved on Wednesday. I am so happy that they agreed on my request.

So here are the documents that I need to prepare on Monday:

1. Roster or Master list of workers with address, date hired, designation, salary and their status of employment.
2. Payrolls and/or vouchers from the start of operation to present date/from the last inspection date to present.
3. Daily time records and/or time sheets from the start of operation to present date or from last inspection date to present.
4. Apprenticeship Agreements and Programs, if any.
5. Evidence of Service Discharge Distribution.
6. Maternity, Paternity and Sick Leave Benefits records.
7. Proof of payment for 13th month pay.
8. Result of Last Inspection.
9. Proof of Payment of Service Incentive Leave credits.
10. Benefits given to workers per company policy and/or practice.
11. Proof of Social Security System, Home Development Mutual Fund and Philippine Health Insurance Corporation Remittances (latest).
12. Others (Employment Contracts/Company Policy).

There are problems that I need to resolve first because our former bookkeeper didn’t give us the Philippine Health Insurance Corporation payments from August 2015 up to November 2015. I have already emailed them but I’ve got no response. I called them today for several times but the phone is busy. I am praying that I could finished what I need to finish before Wednesday came.

Envy Enveloped my Whole Being

Last night I feel that something pinched me in my heart as I was browsing the news feed of this person. Truthfully it been years or rather I was still a kid when I feel this kind of resentment or jealousy towards other people’s achievement, success and merits in life. I know that this is not a good feeling but I can’t help it. I just feel it. I feel so embarrassed to myself that I should be experiencing it. I thought I am matured now. That I have outgrown loving myself for who and what I am. That I have embraced my strength and weaknesses already. But last night I realized that I am only a person, a normal human being.

Since I was a kid I swear to myself that I will never ever be jealous to other’s people blessings in their life. If they have foods and I don’t have I don’t feel resentment or blame my mother because of our deprivation in life. Instead I find ways to help my mother by doing a lot of things like helping neighbors to get a few cents, planting vegetables in the garden, harvesting fruits and selling it, going to the beach a few yards from us to get calms for food.

I don’t even feel jealous if other kids have new shoes, slippers, clothes, bags and things in school but instead I tried to make my own things clean and tidy to look good. I don’t feel resentment when I don’t top on class or get a perfect grades or even choose to be the leader in group presentations and to be the representative of the class in various contest because I know that we there are people who are better than me.

I know that it is not good to compare myself to other people because I am unique in my own ways. It is just last night, after a long time that this feeling of envy enveloped my whole being.

A Lot of Things Accumulated Through the Years

I realized that we have so many things at home. Since my two nieces has moved to their mother’s house in Cebu they left a various things and trashes at home which I will be sorting either on Saturday or Sunday this week. I have checked the mess this morning and I shake my head in disbelief. Through the years we have accumulated a lot of things. Some have never been used. Some are abused already and some has been bought without thinking twice.

We have so much clothes in our closets. Most of them are already worn and tried from years. Some of the clothes has outgrown by the children. My son ransacked a few t-shirts last night that he could still use. I told him I will be washing it again. Some will be given away to their playmates and friends.

I have set aside the toys and books that are still in good condition and can be used by other kids. Some of the containers, jugs, bottles and other kitchen utensils has been put in the black bag ready to be given away.

I decided to put away some blankets too and to throw old furniture. I am hoping that I could buy a new furniture but this plan could still wait. I am planning to get a home amortization plan next year so I will prioritize it first before buying new things at home.

I am hoping that I sell some of my stuff to generate an additional fund. I am eyeing the sidewalk during market days to sell some of my stuff. I will be inquiring with friends on where I could ask to have a space there during Saturday and Sunday.

I really hope I could juggle my time this week to do all of it because next week will be a lot busier here in my work.

A Learning Process

My sister asked me if I wanted to do their Financial Statement and Income Tax Return and how much will I charge her for it. Truthfully, I am not good in doing it or rather I don’t know how to do it. I know it’s funny that she should asked about it but she always think that I am good in doing anything.

When I decided to quit my job my first option is to become a freelance bookkeeper. You don’t need a capital to do it because your skills and expertise will be your weapon to start with it. I am familiar with documentation and processing of permits and registrations with various government offices and agencies. I am doing good in writing correspondence and filling up those dreadful forms. I have successfully done some various workloads and I know that I could learn to do it so I said yes.

I need the money and the learning that comes from within. It will help me in my future endeavors if I will learn the process of doing it.
I am very thankful that my office mate is very helpful and supportive to me. I have been asking her a lot of questions and she’s always helping me out. She taught me on what and where to input certain information. She explained the various forms and their uses.

I am scared because I don’t know if I can do it. I don’t want to cause delay or penalties to my sister’s work so I am trying to focus myself in finishing it until tomorrow. I am hoping that I could really do it.

So right now, I am encoding the Notes to Financial Statements. I have more things to do before I could really wrap it and do it rightfully on time.

My Sister is Here!

My sister arrived yesterday from Cebu. She will be staying here for two days to pack their things. She decided to get her kids from me so they could stay in Cebu together. She encouraging me to live there too but I am hesitant. I told her I will think about it but for now I don’t want to. Maybe in the future but not now.

I left them this morning as they are starting to choose what they will bring to Cebu. Some of their things will be thrown away, some will be given to neighbors and friends and some will go to Bataan in her husband’s relatives.

I will surely miss my two nieces. I really hope they will be better there. I know that in Cebu they will have more opportunities and I hope they used it well.

I told my nieces to take their studies seriously because I can see that they are fast learner and have some real talents in arts. They just need to believe in themselves and be dedicated to what they wanted to achieve in life. I told them to help their mother in the household chores especially since my sister will be working hard to give them a better life. It will be hard for the three of them but if they help each other I know they could make it. My sister is driven and she will really do anything to get what she wanted to get even if she’s sick she is fighting.

I could see that my mother wanted to stay with them in Cebu but as she always said that all her sisters and brothers are here and if she dies then it will be hard for her siblings to go there to visit her wake so she just wanted to stay here. So my mother will stay with me.

What I did Yesterday

I was in Manila yesterday and my main reason was to pick up our Certificate of Registration in the Department of Public Works and Highways. I decided to pick up my three prizes which I won through online promo. We decided to pick up my prizes first before going to the main office of Department of Public Works and Highways.

We pick up our prizes in Swift Premium, Robinsons Supermalls and SM Cinema. It was a good thing that the office of Swift Premium and Robinsons Supermalls are on the same street so we just walked. We have done all of these earlier than we expected since there is only a minimal traffic in Metro Manila yesterday. So we got to the DPWH office at around 2:00 in the afternoon.

After that we went to Divisoria to buy something that I could resell here in our place. We bought cute and trendy face masks. There are so many designs to choose from and it is really hard for me because I wanted all of it. I am also looking for Panda design because it looks cute.

I bought a sandals for only One Hundred Fifty Pesos and it looks really good. So I think I spend my money wisely on that. I am into eyeglasses and shades and so I bought myself a new shade for only One Hundred Fifty Pesos. I really love the design and quality of it and it looks like those items that are for sale in malls and online shops. I buy Lego for my son because he’s really into it now. He’s been bugging me for days to buy him another set of Lego and I promised him I will once I go to Manila because it is much cheaper there.

It is really nice to have finally take a break and just enjoy buying something for myself. It’s been a long time since I did it. It may have burned a hole in my pocket but I will just work hard in the coming days to sustain everything.