Having a Hard Time with the Kids at Home.

I have a problem with my son and my two nieces. They don’t wanted to go to school and I am having a hard time talking to them every morning. I am always trying to talk to them, in persuading them to attend their classes and even encourage them by telling stories how I struggled back then. I asked them what is the reason of their absences in school but they always told me that tomorrow we will go to the school and I will believe them.

I think the problem about my two nieces is their laziness and their lack of will power to wake up early every morning. I always send them to bed early so that they could wake up early too. It doesn’t do anything good because I always waste so much time calling them and waking them up.

My son was always been diligent in going to school. He loves to go to school because he gets the chance to play around after the class ends. He was always been the first one to wake up in the morning and he will wake me up saying hurry up Mama or I will be late in school. So I will groggily find my way to the kitchen preparing the breakfast for the day.

I don’t know what happened but my son told me two reasons why he doesn’t wanted to go to school anymore. One is that he was bullied. Some of his classmates will always get his money and if he doesn’t give them something they would tease him. Second is that his cousins are not attending their schooling so he doesn’t wanted to attend to. They enjoyed playing and watching TV and I feel so devastated. I wanted them to be in school and I even skip from my work just to accompany them but I always ended having a hard time.

I have talked to my sister and reported her daughters. She will talk to them and I hope that she could persuade them to have the enthusiasm to go to school everyday.

My Tomato Story

I checked my garden this morning and was so happy to see my tomato plants sprouting flowers already. I almost shouted for joy as I called my mother to see the lovely sight. I love planting and tomatoes are easy to grow with.

I always remember how we survived in my grade school days by my tomato plants. I love to tell my stories over and over again to my son, my nieces and my friends.

I was in my 5th grade when things was so tight. There comes a time that we don’t have anything, as in anything, to be served in our table. I would spend my time in my garden tending, planting, weeding and watering my vegetable plants. I had more than fifteen tomato plants at that time. When it started bearing fruits I really don’t know what to do with them at first. So I harvested it every morning and put it in the kitchen table. We always used it as in cooking viand dishes but since we don’t have anything to cook my mother cooked it as is. We call it Sauteed Tomatoes. We started mixing tomatoes to camote, pechay, bitter melon and other vegetables that I planted in my garden. We also bring it to the market. My mother has a friend who have vegetable stalls in the market and we would sell my harvested tomatoes there along with other vegetables that we harvested. We could buy some rice and other needs.

We could harvest twice a day and my basket will be full of fresh tomatoes. It also helps me in my skin problem because at the time I have so many mosquito bites. It helps me achieved a smoother skin. I learned that tomato is a very good source of Vitamin C, Lycopene, Beta-carotene, potassium and other nutrients.

I always love to plant tomato in my garden. I love it and I always love to tell how tomato help us survived in those dire times.

A Happy Anniversary to Me.

I am greeting myself a Happy Anniversary. If all things are well then yesterday, November 11, marked our Anniversary. Frankly speaking, I am expecting him to be waiting outside for me. I am expecting him to talk to me or greeted me. I am thinking he will post a shout out to me on his social media account. But all my expectations just remained for what it is.

Yes, he texted me but I am waiting for a reconciliation between the two of us or a confirmation of our relationship. He texted me and our conversation just stay to regular one.

I noticed that most of our special days were not celebrated the way it should be. We have always been on and off on our relationships and we always argue. We don’t really fight or exchange swear or bad words. What we argued mostly is his shortcomings. He always forget about me when he is with his family and friends. He doesn’t prioritized our relationships and he spend most of his times being with his family and friends. He doesn’t even fetched me at my work and visit me at home or go on a date with me. His text messages are shorter and lesser. He doesn’t opened up to me and I feel he doesn’t even wanted to be with me especially in public places.

I have a feeling that these are all signs that the relationship has gone bad. I talked to him asking if there’s any problem so we could patch things up but he always said there is none.

I’ve come to a point that I told him about what he is doing to me and he doesn’t even explained or defend himself. He does not even reply. I just accepted the fact that I am now alone in my journey and I would not be expecting him to walk beside me to reach what is stored for me.

Since we don’t have a formal break-up or anything, I will just greet myself a Happy Anniversary and hope that things will be better for the comings days.

How To Tell Your Boss the Bad News?

My boss was not in his good mood today as per my co-workers testimonies. I was late for two hours because of two reasons, first we don’t have water supply in our area which was on-going for two days now and second, I am feeling unwell and sleep last night at around 3:00 in the morning.

He called me this morning asking about our license with the Department of Public Works and Highways because he will be talking to a congresswoman about road projects. I told him we don’t have a license or accreditation from that government office. He said that he thought we already have a license or accreditation a long time ago. He hinted that if he doesn’t bagged the project then it is my fault and shortcoming. As always all the mistakes will be credited to me and but if I’ve done something good then I heard nothing from them.

I explained what transpired to our previous conversation as per his order regarding the registration of our company with the said government office. As far as I remember, during the time he told me to research we don’t have the Tax Clearance, Philgeps Certificate, and PCAB so it doesn’t push through at that time. When we have already acquired those said certifications I told him if we will do it but he told me it can wait. So I just let it pass and move on to my other task. I don’t know if he remembered it because as I looked back to our conversation this morning he assumed it was already done.

He even told me that it is one of the problems he saw in my and my co-workers that if he assigned a certain task to us there’s no follow ups or updates. I just listened and never explained further. He already made up his mind and I am not in my best mood to say something more.

We are Blessed in Different Ways

My friend and I was walking one day. She told me she wanted someone to talk to so I told her to wait for me after my work and we will stroll around. We just walked while she was talking. She talked about her problems to her husband and her two kids, how she was losing hope in life and she feels so miserable that I don’t know what to say or how to console her. This was not the first time it happened. It happened so many times over the past years that I have come to a point that I just listen and listen. After all, I have said my piece and she never listened. She never followed my advice. Then, I realized that she just wanted someone to talk to and that is me.

We decided to get some drinks while walking since we were both exhausted. As she rants on, we noticed an old woman who was rummaging through the garbage can. She was wearing an old clothes and her hair was disheveled. It caught her attention and was really surprised to realize she knew the old woman. It started to rain and the old woman was not even wearing a hat. She was getting plastic bottles and tin cans in the garbage can.

She told me she knows the woman. She’s a Chinese and her siblings are all businessmen in our area. My friend worked as an Executive Secretary to a Chinese couple who owns grocery store. I always buy our supplies there because of their lower prices compared to other store. She told me that woman married a Filipino and some of her children worked for their relatives before and since one of her son was an ex-boyfriend of her older sister she cannot believe that she is not picking bottles and tin cans for a living. She also heard that her sister’s ex-boyfriend who was the one working for his mother was now bed ridden because of cancer.

The woman was now far away from us. I thought of giving her a small amount so she could go home but I just stood there, paralyzed. A tear rolling in my eye. I just witnessed a very sad story and I can’t believe that her relatives are not extending a help or enough help for them. She was rejected by her family by marrying a different race. I just hope that they realized that what is important is the blood that connected them. I looked to my friend and just like me she was looking at the old woman. We just walked silently and parted ways to our own home. I realized that after that incident my friend just keep silent about her own problems. Maybe, she realized that she’s blessed because despite of trials and problems that she encountered she have her family to keep her going.

Looking for What is Important

I’m having a second thoughts regarding my plans in life. Maybe I am just afraid for the outcome of my decisions but I just wanted to find myself. I am thirty four years old already and honestly I just live my life everyday without knowing what will happen next. I don’t have a plan, a clear plans for my future. Sometimes, I am thinking that I live my life without a purpose. Everyday is just a routine and I feel so tired doing the same thing over and over again.

Have you come to that point in your life? I wanted to enjoy my life. I wanted to do some things like learning how to sew and bake. I wanted to study in our livelihood program here in our city but my schedule will not permit me to do it. I wanted to put up a small business like a variety store in front of our home so I could personally attend to my son’s needs. I wanted to be with my son as he grows up. He needs my care and guidance especially now because he is not a studios type of a kid. Sometimes he would skip school and just stay at our home watching television or playing outside. My mother is old enough to look for them.

When I counted my daily expenses in going to my work, back and forth, I found out that I am earning a minimum of Three Hundred Pesos a day only. That will cover to our daily expenses. I have my mother, my son and my two nieces in my custody and we are just renting our home. So if I could put up my own business and just stay at home so I could keep my eye on my son and two nieces that will be the best. I could be a freelancer since most of my friends will ask me to draft some contract and other legal matters for them or I could do some invitations or tarpaulins also and most of all I could earn an extra income through online jobs or blogs.

I think it is time to decide before it is too late to decide for myself.

A Conversation Worth Sharing

I was late this morning and I was so thankful that there’s a jeepney park in the waiting shed that has several available seats. I immediately go to the available seats and settled comfortably as other passengers took their seats. We were full already but the driver told us there’s another passenger who alighted to buy something and left her daughter in the jeep. He told the conductor to look for a woman who was wearing an orange shirt and they started shouting. A woman in her thirties was running toward us and when she took her seat the driver told her that she has keep us waiting. The driver went on saying that when she left she told the driver that she will return immediately but it took her so long to return and all the passengers suffered from her since most of us will be going to our respective work.

The woman humbly apologized for what she has done. The driver keep silent for a moment maybe realizing that he has gone too far. Then, she asked the woman how much does she sells her camote tops (violet one) per bundle and she replied that she sells it for ten pesos. Then the driver told to his conductor to buy one bundle of camote tops. The woman maybe out of good will for the delay she has caused to the driver told her daughter to give them two bundles instead of one for the price of one but the driver refused it saying that they are both working to earn a money and it is not fair especially since they have commuting back and forth to go to the marketplace.

I have heard and seen all of this because I was seated next to the woman and her daughter. I just simply realized that sometimes our anger let our kindness overcome us that we never see the situation of other people and we just mind or see our own business alone.

A Job That Perfectly Fits Me.

Applying for a new job is very tedious especially at this point of my life where age limit is required. In my country, the older you get the harder you get a job. Most of the companies prefer the ever dynamic young people. They wanted applicants who just got out of college to work with them.

I am already 34 years old and currently working as an Office Manager in a Construction Company here in our area. I started here two years ago as an Administrative Assistance and I am one of their pioneer employee. I was the one who processed all the permits and registration with the various government agencies and I could say that I am proud to have done an excellent job. I have minimized the expenses of the company by doing the processing myself instead of acquiring the service of a third party.

I have performed my job efficiently well and have done various functions as my boss wanted me to do. I even traveled from time to time to process in Manila for our permits and have never uttered a single objection. I also do my best and strive for excellency in every single tasks that has been given to me.

I know that I am capable in handling a new job experiences because I have already encountered and face the different scenarios in the workplace but I am saying this truthfully that I feel nervous right now. I am updating my resume because I am looking for a new job. A job that will help me grow in my all aspects of life. A job that will love me back as much as I love it. A job that will nourish me and my family. A job that will take good care of me. It may sounds idealistic but I know that there is a job somewhere out there that will perfectly fits me.

True Friends are like Gold

I am very lucky and blessed that I have friends who are always there for me. There are like angels that God sent to guide, help, cheer, and pull me up. Since I was a little girl, I have meet friends that until now has soft spot in my heart. I could still remember those memories that we have shared as if it was only yesterday that it happens. I have friends who I lost along the way but the lessons that I have learned from there will always be here in my heart and in my mind. We have to value our friends because if we never did then we will just wake up one morning that they have left us.

As I’ve said, I feel truly lucky and blessed because my friends never left me. We may not be seeing each other everyday nor talk to each other a lot but when I need them they are there for me. They will sent me a messages or we could meet so we could talk and catch up.

I don’t have a million friends and I am not the type who is really famous but my friends are for keeps. They are the kind of people who will support you, boast your morale, appreciate you and accept you for who you are. They are the ones who will tell you in all honesty the real score and will scold you if you did something wrong but never left your side even if you commit the biggest mistake in your life.

They are the ones who will laugh and cry with you. Who can endure talking to you for hours and never feel bored. They are the ones who will lend you a helping hand in times of troubles and despairs without expecting for anything in return.

Come to think of it. I am rich because I have my friends because true friends are like gold.

I am at Loss.

I have always endured the hardships that I have encountered in my life. I have always try to be positive in my outlook in my life even if sometimes I could only see darkness but I have never give up.

But there comes a certain point in life that you feel that you need to give up and quit. You don’t know what to do anymore and where to go because of all the happenings that have suddenly hit you. I feel it now. I just wanted to sit back and think. To think over and over again. To pick up the pieces that I have left along the way. I feel that I am not on the right path anymore. Maybe as I was walking I see something that makes me turn right, left, or just stay.

I just woke up one morning and though that I am already in my mid-thirties and I asked myself did I ever do something that I could be proud of or my son to be proud of me? Do I have investment, insurance or savings that I could use in time of emergency? I am not happy on what my life is going through because I feel discomfort and afraid of the idea that I am not secured, both emotionally and financially. I am still struggling everyday to make both ends meet. I am at loss…

I don’t even have a Five Hundred Pesos bill in my wallet for Pete’s Sake and come to think of the expenses that I need to go through. I need to have enough money everyday so we could eat and go to our respective work and school. I don’t wanted to go home with an empty pocket because it breaks my heart to see my mother, son and two nieces suffering.