Destiny Launch Trailer Goes For A Bag Of Doritos And Then Some

Destiny Launch Trailer

If you didn’t believe in the hype before, the launch trailer for Destiny will certainly make you think that a lot of people really, really, really love the game. The only problem is that it’s the sort of marketing campaign where if you don’t actually care about the game, there’s absolutely nothing you’ll see in the launch trailer that will change your mind. Instead, Activision relies on the age-old tactic of getting established sites to wax poetics for the $500 million dollar franchise to keep the momentum from the game’s beta rolling right on toward its September release.

At times I really wanted to like Destiny, but all the gameplay videos I’ve seen, all the demos, all the trailers all the footage – none of it looked impressive, at all. There was never a time where I thought “Wow, this looks amazing… I can’t wait to spend $60 on this game.” Never.

Sadly I’m looking forward more-so to Battlefield Hardline than I am Destiny, and the former game is from a publisher who can’t stop being pelted for the ignominious things they do and the equally ignominious things they say.

Nevertheless, you came for the Doritos-filled launch trailer for Destiny and you shall get your Doritos-filled launch trailer for Destiny.

Official Destiny – Launch Gameplay Trailer [UK]

There are enemies out here you would not believe, but they’ve never seen anything like you. It doesn’t matter who you were, only what you will become. Pre-Order Destiny to gear up for day one with early access to Vanguard weapons, gear, and a player emblem:

Now look, I’ve got nothing against Bungie or Activision (not really, anyway). But I just can’t understand how this game gets so much praise and I can’t figure out for what?

Superlatives and faux celebration are thrown around about the game being a “revolutionary” take on uncharted territory, and yet… how? What is this “revolution”? If it’s there, I haven’t seen it. It’s like the Emperor’s new schlong after ordering those pills from those shady e-mails that end up in the spam box, except he can still rock a one-inch loin cloth without worrying about anything swinging out.

The main issue is that Destiny is being pimped harder than the second coming but the only thing we have to go on is buzzwords, marketing buzz and media buzz. There’s so much buzz around Destiny one would think they were in a marketing beehive.

The whole game comes across to me as a neutered version of Halo that got knocked up by a Xanax-addicted Borderlands.

Nevertheless, if the video above got you all hot and bothered in all the right financial places, then be my guests to drop $60 worth dimes on the title starting September 9th, but if the video above did nothing more than make you “meh” and shrug your shoulders, then you’re not alone… you’re not alone.

Feel free to learn more about this “revolutionary” game that’s actually “more than a game” by paying a visit to the official website. Destiny is due for release on the Xbox 360, PS3, Xbox One and PS4 beginning September 9th.


Billy has been rustling Jimmies for years. The GJP cried and their tears became his milkshake. Contact.

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