This is for all of you who struggle

“Pain is temporary. It may last for a minute, or an hour or a day, or even a year. But eventually, it will subside. And something else take its place. If I quit, however, it will last forever.”

This is for all of you who stays up late at night, incapable of sleeping, tired of putting on a fake smile each morning, tired of putting on a mask and pretend that everything is okay. This is for all of you that cries yourself to sleep, for you who always say “I’m fine” whenever somebody ask you how everything’s going. This is for all of you who, in the end, can’t feel anything else than emptiness. This is for all of you who never see the light in the end of the tunnel and for you who are ready to give up. Don’t quit on your life, don’t quit on yourself. Pain never last forever. Think of it as physical pain, it always goes away. It may take months or years for it to pass, but eventually you will be okay. You may be in pieces now and you may have no idea how to put yourself back together. You may feel like everything is going against you and that your world is shattering. You dwell in your own depression and you just seem to be incapable of getting out of it. This is never the case. Everybody gets better, it only takes time. Be patient. There’s no such thing as “but what about those who killed themselves?” because they just didn’t give it enough time. You’re going to be fine, the only thing you have to do is hang in there. Be strong. You won’t get any better over the night, but you will get better in a year. You’ll be stronger in a year. Your whole life can be changed completely, you just have to keep on going. Promise me one thing: never, ever give intro the temptation of leaving this world.

How to get started with running

Starting running isn’t easy. The worst part is putting on your shoes and find the motivation to actually go outside, but there’s no turning back once you’ve started!

  • First of all: buy running shoes and clothes! This is the most motivational thing for a first run. It feels extremely good when you put on those brand new, colourful shoes and clothes and you’ll want to go out and get in shape immediately.
  • Decide for a specific time where you go out and run. Stick to it! It will become a routine after a few weeks and you’ll get out of the door faster than you think.
  • Start slow. There’s no point in trying to run for as long as the most popular people can because they’ve been training for years and you’re just starting out. You can actually damage muscles if you push yourself too hard. Don’t aim for a 30 minutes run the first time. Start off with 5 maybe 10 minutes and increase the time when you feel ready.
  • Don’t want to go out to run because of that big failure yesterday? Think of the first time you wan and how good it felt. This always helps me because on bad running day doesn’t mean that the next day is going to be horrible too. Believe in yourself and you can do whatever you wish.
  • Never run if you’ve gotten injured. If there’s an injury bothering you, you shouldn’t just ignore it. Take some days off, maybe some weeks if it’s too bad, and heal. It will only get worse if you keep on running.
  • To stay motivated, look at your exceptional results. You’re fitter and you can run for longer. You have more energy and it takes a lot more of everything to get you exhausted. Y Go out for a run and keep going until your feet are sore!

How to improve your self esteem

  • Don’t wear baggy clothes. Back when I had anorexia I wore baggy clothes to hide my fat and ugly body (I wasn’t really fat or ugly at all, I just thought so). I know how hard it sometimes is to wear clothes that actually fits you, but fitting clothes is so much flattering than baggy clothes! Show off your body and be confident in it.
  • Don’t compare yourself to other people. “She’s so much thinner than me…”, “I am so jealous of his hair, I wish mine would look like that”, etc. Nope. Never compare yourself to anybody even if you can find every single little thing wrong about yourself. It’s not healthy and admit it, deep down you know that you’re special.
  • Work out. It feels amazing after you’ve finished working out and it really is a boost of confidence to look in the mirror and see the changes!
  • Don’t surround yourself with people who talk bad about others behind their backs. People who talk bad about others to you are surely talking bad about you to others too. Forget those people and find others who compliment you.
  • Learn how to take a compliment. This is a hard one. I’ve noticed that a lot of girls says “oh no, you can’t mean that!” and then they blush, but it’s better to just say thank you. Whenever you turn a compliment down, your brain starts to think that what you say is true and after a while all you will believe is that you aren’t good enough for anything.
  • Get a new hair cut or a hair colour. Or buy a new lipstick.
  • Stand in front of a full body length mirror when you get up in the morning and give yourself compliments. After a while, your brain starts to believe what you are saying and your confidence will grow. You’re not lying when you’re giving yourself compliments, that’s not what I meant. What I mean is that you manage to get out of that vicious circle and start liking yourself!
  • Eat healthy. It’s good for your body and you will feel great, therefore: confidence boost!

How to fight depression

  • Never give up and always have hope. This is probably the hardest thing to do because I know how it feels like when you’ve been dragged down in that huge black hole which may seem like you’ll never get out of, but there’s always a different solution to your problem, so never ever give up. Stay strong.
  • Surround yourself with good friends and family that you know will support you through hard times. Everybody needs someone to talk to and surrounding yourself with people who care is the best thing to do when you’re depressed. Ask them for help or just tell them that you need someone to talk to every now and then. Get everything off your chest, you’ll feel much better afterwards and they’ll know what to help you with.
  • Take up a hobby no matter how hard it is to stay dedicated. “No, I don’t want to do that, I don’t have any energy left and it’s boring”. This sentence is one I’ve used way too much and it won’t help. Stay busy, it helps you see all the beautiful things in the world.
  • Cry. Don’t keep everything inside of you. Let it all out.
  • Take a day or two to be alone with yourself. It’s not always good to be surrounded by people all the time. Take a day off, treat yourself to something special and just relax.
  • Don’t strive to be perfect even though that’s what you really want to be. Oh the struggle. I’ve always wanted to be perfect and that’s probably one of many reasons for my depression. Nobody’s perfect and you know that completely well.
  • Write down your thoughts. You don’t have to make a blog to write down your thoughts. You can keep a diary and only let yourself read the words you’ve written too.
  • Get a pet. A cat, a dog, anything. It’s good to have a pet by your side when you’re feeling blue.
  • Meditate. Do some yoga too. Also, go for long walks outside and just let nature surround you.
  • Eat healthy. You also need to get enough sleep. Aim for at least 8 hours of sleep every night.
  • Set some goals, but keep them realistic. If you set your goals too high you won’t manage to reach them and you’ll feel hopeless and think that you won’t do anything right in life when you realize that it’s just not possible for you to fulfil them.
  • Don’t rely on drugs or alcohol to make you feel better. It may feel better for a little while, but your future just doesn’t look bright if you keep using them.

What to use your money on if you don’t want to save them…

…Or don’t need to save them.

  • Donate to a good cause. This would be my first priority if I had too much money.
  • This store. They’ve got everything! Nail art, make up, clothing, jewellery. It’s even cheap!
  • Take up a new hobby. Golfing, painting, drawing, playing guitar, bass or the drums, find something that interests you that requires money.
  • Buy an expensive watch. This isn’t probably what everybody wants, but if I had the money, I would have bought a really expensive watch, probably layered with gold. It’s one of the things I’ve wanted for a very, very long time.
  • Spoil your family and friends. The best feeling is to make someone happy and what doesn’t make anybody happier than receiving a gift? I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that I adore gifts. Put a smile on someone’s face and buy them something nice!
  • Buy a tent and fishing gear. Nothing in the whole world beats the feeling of sitting by the lake fishing, drinking a can of beer and soak up the sunlight and later go to sleep in the tent. Waking up to nature is such a wonderful thing which everybody should experience.
  • Think hard about what you really want (something you’ve wanted for a long time, maybe?) and spoil yourself! Everybody has that one thing they’ve wanted for as long as they can remember, but never had the money to buy. This is the right time to buy that one thing that puts a smile on your face.
  • Buy those expensive ear rings you’ve wanted for such a long time. Yup. I bet every female have known this feeling. Looking into the window at the store and seeing those beautiful ear rings. At least I’ve had that feeling.
  • Order new and interesting food online! There are so many online stores that allows you to order food. What about Chinese? Mexican? Try something new, it’s exciting!

How to get clear skin

  • Drink lots of water. It helps dehydrate the skin and flushes out toxins.
  • Find out which skin type you have and choose a moisturiser that suits your skin. There’s no use in buying a moisturiser for oily skin when you have dry skin. Choose wisely.
  • Expose your skin to fresh air. You skin needs to breathe! Not only is it good to go outside for a walk, but your skin will thank you for your gift of breathing in fresh air instead of that heavy air at your office.
  • Only use a face scrub once a week when it’s winter, but you can use one several times a week at summer time. The skin tend to get more sensitive and dry when it’s cold outside.
  • Eat healthy and don’t be too hard on yourself when it comes to fruit! It’s good for both your inner organs and your skin (and your sweet tooth). Instead of grabbing that plate of chocolate and probably getting a pimple or two the next day, grab an apple, a banana or maybe a bowl of strawberries (cherries for that matter, they taste better in my opinion).
  • Try to stay away from foundation and powder. If you really have to use both, buy organic ones. You don’t want to choke your skin, do you? It’s the same as choking because your skin can’t breathe under that heavy layer of foundation and powder. You’re better off staying away from it, a face without any foundation and powder is also a prettier face!
  • Never go to bed with your make up on! Even if you’re tired and just want to go to bed after a long day, you need to put your skin at the front line if clear skin is what you want. It only takes five minutes to wash your face and I bet you agree with me when I say that it’s worth it.
  • Cut down on alcohol. I bet I’m not the only one who can say that I’ve gotten loads of pimples after a weekend of drinking. It’s not only the alcohol causing those red bumps to show up, but also the food you eat because, we both know this is true, you don’t really care about what you put inside body when you’re drunk.

How to keep your hair healthy

  • Wash it in cold water, never hot. I don’t even think I need to explain myself here, everybody knows that warm water dries the hair out. Your hair even gets shinier if you wash it in cold water!
  • Never apply the conditioner all down to your scalp. The conditioner are supposed to give moisture to your hair, not your scalp. If you apply conditioner to your scalp, the hair will only get more oily and I’m pretty sure you don’t want that.
  • Try to stay away from blow drying your hair, let the air dry it. Again, it’s the same with warm water. Blow drying dries you hair out and it’s better to let it dry by itself.
  • Don’t overdo the brushing. I had a period where I brushed my hair every day and I can’t say that my hair got healthier by it. There were more split ends and if you think tangles are going to be a problem. you’re wrong. The conditioner will to all the work, stick to brushing your hair once or twice a week.
  • Find non-heating methods to curl and straighten it. Warmth, warmth warmth.
  • Use a serum at the tips of your hair to prevent it from breaking. 
  • Don’t wash it every single day, try to keep it to a maximum of three days a week. You’ll see how much healthier your hair gets and much less oily only after a week! If you wash it every day, the natural oils will be removed and your hair will produce more to keep it healthy, but this only makes it more oily. That’s why you can’t go a day without washing your hair, because you’ve been washing your hair once a day for too long.
  • Remember to stay hydrated. Dehydration doesn’t only mean dry skin, it also mean dry and brittle hair.
  • Try not to wear a ponytail at the occasions you’ve used to wear one, the band is constantly rubbing at your hair and causes it to break. 

Read first; create later

Reading is a very big part of my life. To be honest, I don’t think I would have been where I am today if I hadn’t started reading at such an early age.

You know the feeling you get when you sit down with a book in front of the fireplace (or in your favourite chair) after a long and exhausting day? Entering the life of an imaginary world and just forgetting about the rest of your life for a while? It’s probably one of the best feelings in the world. It’s not only relaxing to read a book, it’s inspiring too, and books where actually my main inspiration to start writing. I’m currently working on a novel (not going to reveal the title here) and here’s a short excerpt from it:

Grimm interrupted me. “Don’t go too near the fence, I can’t remember where the border goes”, he says warily, like he’s afraid that there’s someone out here that are watching us. “Doesn’t the fence mark it? That’s the only thing that makes sense”, I looked at him demandingly, like I expected him to know all the answers to my questions. “No, the fence has nothing to do with the border. That’s why it’s scary, the fence doesn’t mean anything. It’s just there to fool everyone; it makes it easier for them to catch us”.

My favourite author of all times has to be Stephen King. It is amazing how his choice of words scare you and makes you sit with all your muscles tightened. You should especially read Pet Sematary, it’s one of my many favourites written by him (and yes, it’s spelled Sematary). It’s starting to become a few years since I read it the last time, but to make it short: you’re not going to be willing to put the book down until you’re finished with the last page.

It’s about a mysterious cemetery that brings dead animals back to life, but they’re not exactly good-hearted when returning to their owners.
The main character’s child is run over by a car and he’s in utter despair. Do you want to guess what happens next?  He buries his kid up at the pet cemetery, of course. I bet you’re thinking that this is the most idiotic idea and you’re right. As I said, those who are buried there never come back good-hearted… But the father of the child is so heartbroken that he decides to do it, even though he knows that the cemetery means no good. I think I would have done that too, but I would surely regret it the moment my kid came back from the dead… The rest will creep you out and it’s up to you if you want to read it or not (I strongly recommend reading it though).

The first time I got my hands on Pet Sematary was back when I was thirteen. It wasn’t the wisest choice to stay up late at night reading that book when you only lived about 500 metres from the graveyard, but I wasn’t known as the smartest kid in town either. Eight years later and I still don’t dare go close to a graveyard, to be honest.

Remember, if you decide on reading this book; keep the lights on and the curtains closed!

How to get your energy level up

  • Eat small, healthy meals often. Start your day with a big, healthy, energizing meal. This helps you with keeping the energy up throughout the day, but remember to eat small, healthy meals at least four times a day!
  • Drink coffee or tea. 
  • Go for a walk! Or just get outside. Working out helps too.
  • Get at least six hours of sleep every night. Your brain needs to recharge and if you’re not getting enough sleep, you’ll feel tired and groggy the next day.
  • If there are people in your life that makes you feel exhausted whenever you’re spending time with them, try to reduce the time if you’re not too fond of them. I’ve had a lot of people like this in my life and I’ve never been too excited whenever I’m going to spend time with them since they’re literally taking my energy away from me. Sometimes you just need to stop spending time with the wrong people.
  • Drink enough water. This also regulates the body temperature so you won’t get those heat waves (it’s very uncomfortable, I get those all the time, but I always forget to drink enough water).
  • Meditate. It clears your mind, giving you the opportunity to focus longer on the things you really need to focus on.
  • Remember to relax a little bit throughout the day, don’t push yourself too hard! This only makes you exhausted and doesn’t give your body the opportunity to do the things you were meant to do thoroughly.
  • Stop putting others needs in the first row. If you’re feeling exhausted, but you made a plan with one of your friends, tell them that you need to get some rest. It’s not good for you to always keep your promises, even though you don’t want to let anyone down. Think about your health instead of always putting the needs of your friends before your own needs.

How to become more creative

  • Listen to other peoples thoughts. Maybe you’ll find some inspiration in what they’re saying. Also pay attention to what other people are doing.
  • Read. If you’re a writer, pay attention to how other writers describe things and environments. Look at how they’re writing.
  • Watch a documentary or a movie. 
  • Make lists.
  • Carry a notebook where ever you go. Whenever you get an idea, write it down immediately. Don’t think that you’re going to remember it and write it down when you get home because there’s no such thing as remembering good ideas. Write it down the instance you get it.
  • Get away from the computer once in a while. 
  • Don’t beat yourself up when you’re not feeling creative. Creativity doesn’t come over night. Just don’t think about that you need to be creative. If you do that, it’s impossible to come up with anything good.
  • Take breaks. Your brain gets exhausted and everyone need breaks once in a while. Reward yourself with breaks.
  • Surround yourself with other creative people. When you’re with creative people, you get new ideas on how to be creative because you see what they do.
  • Show your work to someone else and ask for feedback. This is important. Always show your work to someone else and ask for feedback, criticism, whatever you can get, so that you can make your work better and please yourself.
  • Practice makes perfect. You won’t be able to do something perfectly the first time you try it. Practice, practice, practice, it always rewards you with good things.
  • Always know that you’re going to make mistakes, but never give up. Everybody makes mistakes and you will make mistakes also. Don’t lose your motivation if there’s something you can’t get right. As I said, practice makes perfect.
  • Don’t force creativity to show up. It won’t show up if you’re constantly thinking about it. Go out for a walk, spend some time with your family, don’t be too hard on yourself.
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