Are we raising “bad” kids?



Some say “there’s no such thing as a bad kid.”  But, if there is no such thing as a bad kid then where are children learning how to hit, talk back, and disrespect adults or other authority figures?

First let me say, in no way do I condone or promote abusing your child but you can discipline them.

 

As a childcare provider of 12 years I have seen everything from children throwing tantrums and hitting  to children talking back and simply acting out. When I bring the matter to the parents they say everything from “my child doesn’t act this way at home” to “I don’t want to punish them because it teaches hatred.” All of that nonsense is absurd. My parents disciplined me, their parents disciplined them and so on. And guess what? My family was not the first to discipline their children and they will definitely not be the last.

Parenting, just like education should return to the simple, but effective methods and ideas; “It takes a village to raise a child.”

Parents these days are being taught to not discipline their children and instead give them medicine, call it some random medical term and hey excuse their behavior. No that is just another way to get money from unsuspecting individuals.

For instance, in my home daycare I have a child whom I have been keeping for the past 2 years. His first day with me he threw a tantrum so bad that he broke the blinds on my window, a picture, and kicked a hole in the wall. I told his mom about that behavior but I didn’t stress it because I understand the fears of a child being in a new place for the first time. He didn’t exhibit that behavior again until a year and a half later. This time the behavior was much worse. It began that day with him not wanting to participate in the circle time and art time, then at lunch time he threw his food on the floor because he said that is not what he wanted to eat, and at nap time he took the mat apart and kept beating on the wall. When he was put in time-out  he yelled, kicked, and said hateful words to me. And that was just the first day. He continued this behavior for 3 months. By that time I had 4 holes in my wall, 3 children had been hurt, and I had been diagnosed with high blood pressure. I was tired of telling his mom, tired of using all of my energy on him, and tired of this bad behavior overall. I began telling calling his mom and making her come to get him every day he showed this behavior. Only then did the bad behavior begin to calm down. When she said to me, I am on probation at work, I cannot afford to lose my job. Once it began affecting her and I made her deal with it did the behavior change.

Why do parents in the 21st century let the child’s behavior get so out of control? Why do parents feel that it is easier to just let the children get what they want instead of saying no? I believe in teaching a child how the real world will address them. I believe in saying no more than I say yes. I believe in rewarding a child for good behavior instead of trying to bribe a child to do something that they were supposed to do to begin with.

As a child care provider and mother, I need to know why parenting has gotten so far off track.




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