Every day, it seems, I hit a wall around 3 o’clock.
I’ve made progress on things that need to be done, and I am feeling positive. I usually have lunch around two, so it gives me a break. But, in trying to go back to work from that break, I struggle. Today, I’ve gotten so much done: emails, graded papers, posting on a discussion board, sending my tax documents to be filed, laundry, cleaning… it all happened. Heck, I even did a few things that I hadn’t thought would ever get done. So, why am I dragging my feet?
I just don’t want to work on that assessment, and I know that I need to get it done. They’re awful… they take so long to get through, and I never know exactly if I’m doing something right, so I feel like it’s too much brain power. Plus, with the kids, I can’t really focus. That’s when I do best on those edits. If I’m able to block out everything, then go through each question with a fine tooth comb. But, with the kids, I keep having to stop, do something, come back, find my place, and start again. It’s really hard to get any kind of momentum that way.
So… around the time when I feel myself ready to get started on editing, I start procrastinating. At least, with this, I’m earning a little income. And, by rehashing my feelings, maybe I can have that light bulb moment when I realize that I need to be more mindful (which I’m really trying to practice these days) of what I’m doing and how my time is being spent. So… I’m going to take a breath and start cleaning. I’m obviously digging my heels in when it comes to editing, but I can’t waste this afternoon. I’ll clean, instead.
Ugh… why is this so hard? I just want to be done with those already.