I have this weird thing… I can’t clean the house when my husband is home.
It’s such an odd feeling. But, when he’s in the house, I feel awkward cleaning stuff. I can do some chores, like dishes, or folding laundry. Those don’t bother me. But deep cleaning, like sweeping and mopping, or cleaning the bathrooms just never happens when he’s in the house. I feel like he’ll feel obligated to help because he’s just kind of sitting there. And he shouldn’t have to help. He provides the majority of the money for the house, and he works really long hours. It’s my responsibility to care for the house. Just like he doesn’t expect me to help me with his job, I don’t expect him to help me with mine.
I also stop working when he gets home, for the most part. Some nights, if I have an assignment due in a few hours, or if I’m trying really hard to earn extra money, like right now, I’ll get some work in. But, I always stop working for a meal and for at least an hour before he goes to sleep. I like to spend the evenings with him. I think spending quality time together is important for a marriage, so work and chores, in general, have to be finished before he gets home.
He does the same for me, though. He leaves work at work. He never brings home random tasks to finish at home, and if he has something to do on the weekends, he makes the extra effort to get up early so he can be home either before we wake up or shortly after.
I think this helps our marriage work. We both make each other a priority, and that kind of devotion really makes a different. We both know that we are important to the other one, even if it means a little extra work during the day. I love our habits, and it makes me feel happy to know that we make time for each other.