Daughter and her tiny infant baby girl

Speaking the words of a mother, when we received the wing of the news our daughter was pregnant with her first child, we were so happy and filled with joy for her. Although we may had our differences in the decisions she made in life we loved our daughter unconditionally. There are times that parents need to step back and allow their children to make mistakes for them to learn and grow from them

We did not approve of our daughter living with a man. Raising our daughter we felt we did our best so we thought to make wise choices. We sit down having a long mother and daughter chat on the topic about pregnancy.  In our conversations together she asked questions, I have always tried to answer her questions to the best of my ability and honesty as I knew how. I tried to teach my daughter that she ought to wait to have sex before marriage. She was always a good girl have never gave me any series behavior problems but that all change when she a boy where she worked that came from a broken home and lived in foster care half his life.

It wasn’t the fact him being in a foster care that was my concern. My concern was the reason he was placed in the foster care. The young man had series issues and bad behavior problems where his father could not handle him no matter how hard he have tried. His father worked hard every day to provide for his family. So when my daughter was introduce to this young man and he brought him to the house to meet my husband and I, we had a bad gut feeling calling a parent intuition that the young man had severe behavior problems. One thing about him we noticed he had a very hot temper and drank a lot. When he would go off the wall, so to speak, he would throw things. That frighten us. We allow her to date him with strict supervision but when she turned eighteen and moved out of our home we were no longer in control of the decisions she would make from therein.

My heart ached for our daughter to allow her to go through pain and heartaches and hardships that this young man would put her through and how he treated her. One fall day she stopped in to visit to share the news with her dad and I that she was pregnant. Because of the chaos in her home that she live with her live in boyfriend, she went into early premature labor and delivered our granddaughter at 30 weeks I believe it was on December 24, 2000. Her little girl only weighing one pound but she lived for thirteen days in the NICU. January 6, 2001, the doctors called the family together to talk it over with my husband and I and daughter, the father could not be found. He finally stopped in on December 26,2000, two days after our daughter delivered our granddaughter. Doctors explained that they have tried everything to keep our granddaughter alive but it appear that our granddaughter was just to premature to where she had not have the strength to fight any longer for her tiny body organs was rejecting everything they have tried.

As her mother and father told each family member of the news they held my  daughter up in prayer. Sunday, January 6, 2001, we all have gotten to hold our granddaughter to say goodbye. When it came around to me to my turn to hold my tiny granddaughter whose heart valves and lungs and her other organs had not formed properly, I bowed my head prayer and wished there was something more I could offer or do to comfort my daughter and granddaughter. The nurse administered morphine into her IV still connected to granddaughter so she would not have no pain when she taken her final breath. Still holding my granddaughter in my arms, I leaned over to whisper in her tiny ear and whisper these words into her ear, “It is okay angel, for we all will be alright, and take care of your mommy. Before she taken her final breath, she glazed up into my eyes, like she was telling me thank you grandmemaw. The nurse paced her in a tiny doll crochet pink nightgown and a little white bonnet for our tiny angel.

The nurse stated that the crochet night gown was specially made for people for this type of situation. Can you stop and imagine how comforting that was for my daughter and us that we were blessed to created memories with our granddaughter even if it were only thirteen days. We celebrated Christmas with Angel, brought in the New Year of 2001 with her. Very comforting to know we even had total strangers caring for my daughter in such a special way. Nurses eyes filled with tears. I ordered infant receiving blankets to donate to NICU to hand out to other mothers to give to their baby to be placed in Precious Moments box for the parents to have keepsakes to remember their infant babies who were to premature to fight. Our granddaughter Angel was laid down to rest the day before my husband’s birthday so my husband no longer celebrates his birthdays anymore since the death of our granddaughter.

As for our daughter she went back to our granddaughter’s father, he did not change. He still demanding, controlling, high tempter, they still fight tremendously every day. They moved down south so we don’t hear much from her anymore or do we hear the drama, my husband and I are up in age too, we have health issues. We have tried our best to teach our daughter life values, respect, to learn to have confidence, encouraged her to always do her best in life to make wise choices. We have praised her whenever she accomplished her goals in life. Been patient with her when she had sex before marriage and got pregnant. We paid for the hospital bill, we tried to teach our daughter morals, manners, faith, approval to love themselves. To teach her the true meaning of Christian love in the world. When she became the legal age to where she walked out into the world to explore the world, she made some bad turns that have changed her personality and forgot upbringing.

Jesus called us to love God and his people with being the good Samaritan as setting good examples. There are needy people around you and me we meet them every day. Well aware we can’t help everyone that comes in our path needing help but however, we can reach out with our particular gifts, talents, personalities, to try what we can and able to do for ones who comes before us at any given moments. Love heals, Love changes people, Love of the Father touching through us people will be able to sense.

My Experiences living down South

I don’t know where to even to begin. My husband and I bought a home and lived in our home for over twenty years, up to my husband came down with series health issues to where he had to take an early retirement which was not in his plans.

The message was sent to me from daughter, a message I would not want no mother have to read. After reading her text message she sent to me I knew what we had to do. We sold our home and packed up to move down south where our daughter resided.

The sixteen hour drive to get to our destination. Upon our arrival we stayed out our daughters which turned out to be a nightmare. The man she was living with whom she met online was not be a man that my husband and I would approve of but she was an adult so it was her choice. We respected her decision.  Understand the reason why we did not approve of this man she lived with. He was very demanding, controlling, a woman beater. He was not just abusive to my daughter but to my granddaughter as well.

She has asked for our help to get her away from this man and we helped her by paying her first months rent and the security, total of thousand dollars. Two weeks later she was back into this man’s life. When she went back in his life our daughter treated us like she did not want nothing to do with us. We finally found a rental property which that turned out to be a nightmare also. The landlord of this rental property was a low life, she would not fix anything in the rental property, we even went without heat. She had horses, “Oh, witnessing how these horses were being treated upset me. We searched for another rental property. after four months living on the first rental property the old landlord found out where we moved too and started stalking us.

Just the part of what happen the time we lived in Georgia. In words sharing bluntly, it was like living in the twilight zone. We moved to a small community, our daughter and granddaughter lived across the street from us, thinking we now can be a family and be close to our daughter and granddaughter. Nope, did not work that way. The neighbors, church in the small community we moved into, I can’t even found the right words to explain their behavior. Husband and I attended a Baptist church and I have joined the church choir. Meeting a lady, whom I will call her Peg, (not her real name) made our presence attending the church overwhelming. Because I was an Yankee, the church had issues being racists, Peg had made negative Yankee jokes that hit below the belt, that were on intentionally to hurt. Now I can take a joke but her jokes were intentionally to striking to belittle me. I turned my head, most of time I close my ears and left go out one ear through the other ear but when it came to where she made jokes about my mother, a woman she never met or even laid eyes on, the woman who sacrificed so much to provide all my needs and had taught me to talk like a lady, walk like a lady, dress like a lady, modesty. When Ms. Peg jokes started making negative comments about my mother than that is when I put a stopped to it. I left her know where I stood and have said to Ms. Peg, I don’t care about much your come out with jokes about me but when you start joking about the woman who is my mother, gave me life then that I draw the line.

The first impression usually at times tells about a person. The first impression I received for this Southern Baptist church I saw them all as hypocrites, wanna be Christian. Now I am well aware that nobody human being is perfect and I never claim I am perfect either. Living down south for a three years, my husband and I decided to move back to our home state. Never looked back. Daughter has invited us to come and visited but I had to say No, I never want to ever be in that situation where people hates people and are racists. I was raised better than that and to love all people rather their black or India, Japanese,  Chinese, or any others origin. I may not agree with people and have different opinions but I look at this way in Heaven there are gone to be all shades, sizes, and forms. In heaven we be one big family with God sitting at the head of the table.

If a person talks like a fool, walks like a fool, acts like a fool than that person is a fool. A individual or individuals who may think they know everything but knows not, and think they know everything that they think they know is a fool, stay clear of these individuals. One who knows the word of God, lives the word of God and follows God is wise. My first impression on this Southern Baptist church what I have witness how the people acted and how they express their expression, I found them to be cardinal Christians that I want nothing to do with and rather stay clear as far clear from negative, racists, bullying, judgmental, ignorant, cruel and down right rude people as I can.