Some days I just feel so alone. It is hard when you don’t have much in the way of family. Even what little in the way of family that I do have they aren’t as supportive as I need. I wonder what that is like to have family there for you whenever you need it. To have support and love of family. Family get togethers and things like that.
I would give the world to know what that is like. But it isn’t like I have a way of changing where I came from. I am trying to heal and overcome some things that I have been through in life. As strong as I may seem I have gone through a lot of unbelievably painful times.
Its a wonder that I am still here, in one piece, and as strong and as sane as I am, despite everything I have faced. I am going to start getting hypnotherapy to maybe hopefully heal some of these wounds and scars that I know I hold deep inside. I really want to change, to grow. I want my life to be different then it has been.
I want my life to be different then it is. I know it can be, but the honest truth is that I don’t think that I can do it all alone, by myself. I need help. It isn’t that I have serious problems. I’m not addicted to anything or have anger issues or nothing like that.
But I don’t think that I love for or care for myself as much as I could. As much as I should. I need to change that. To start living a richer life somehow some way. I am ready to fight. Not just to survive, to get by. But this time I am ready to start living and changing my life once and for all.