I feel so broken, and damaged. I have been through so much in my life I almost feel like what is the point of trying? What is the point of hoping that things will be any different? It isn’t like somehow magically I am going to just know how to make things better. I am not giving up just yet but it hurts. All that I have been through. I feel so lost. I hate this feeling. I don’t know maybe it means that something better is on its way. That I can finally heal and I just need to somehow someway find my way.
I don’t even know if that it possible. I wish I had all the answers. I wish I knew what to do now. What to do next. There is so much overwhelming pain and I wonder what I need to do to feel better. To make everything alright. I feel so lost, so alone. I feel like a failure. Like I have fallen short of who I could have been. Who I should have been. I don’t entirely blame myself considering all that I have been through and the fact that I don’t have much in the way of support or guidance in my life.
But I don’t want to live my life with what ifs or could have beens. I don’t want to make excuses and just live my life feeling sorry for myself and all the scars and wounds that just won’t seem to heal. I don’t have any clue what to do next. How I can make things right in my life. Things have been so much worse and they are better then the past but that still doesn’t tell me what I need to do or how I can overcome everything.