Sometimes it is hard for me to be happy. To really be truly genuinely happy. I have been through so much in my life that I guess just feeling positive feelings like that doesn’t always come natural for me. I mean don’t get me wrong I do have my brief moments of times when I feel good or might appreciate some time or something I am experiencing for a very short time. But those moments of happiness never seem to last long for me.
I try my best to be happy, to try to embrace positive emotions but it isn’t always easy. It isn’t that I think negative things constantly but I don’t know I guess my past just haunts me a bit and not having that many people in my life to be my strength, guidance and support doesn’t make it much easier to live even a decent quality life.
But even despite all the crummy aspects of my life there are certain things that make me come alive. The make me feel deeply and fill my heart up. It might not be something that is dramatically life changing for me but they are better feelings then most things that I have felt.
Being around animals usually makes me feel alive. I love how peaceful and careless and loving almost all animals seem to be. Most of them just seem to have this amazing healing aspect to them.
Dancing is another thing that brings great joy in my heart and even deep down in my soul. It is a way to feel, to express myself and my emotions. To feel things on a deeper level. To gain energy and hope. I often times will close my eyes when dancing because I just want to feel it deep down in my soul in my being.