Anger Management_Controlling Anger Before It Controls You



Anger is creative energy that is not being rightly used” ~ Osho

Anger is a physical sensation that in itself is neither good or bad. In our daily lives we often encounter situations that can set in motion our anger. Through frequent repetition we acquire a pattern of behavior we automatically use over and over again when we find ourself in conflict with people, situations or even with ourselves.

Anger is often feared, denied, condemned, internalized or projected into the outside world.

On the extreme range of anger we find the violent people who are in need of medical and psychological treatment. But for most of us anger may be express in irritability, crankiness, disagreeableness, resentment and judgmental behavior. These lesser forms of anger are often tolerated by others and generally accepted by society.

Because we have been conditioned to accept these common ways in which people vent their frustration, we overlook the underlying anger since it is not apparent. When not properly dealt with, these milder forms of anger can intensify into rage and fury that may result in violence towards others as well as ourselves.

Anger that is evident and recognize can be work out.

It may take time and often the initial effort can be unpleasant and harsh. Much more difficult to resolve for those who deny they have anger issues. They avoid showing their anger or call it something else, pushing down angry feelings and not allowing themselves to express what they truly feel.

These people often “turn the other cheek” when confronted with situations which normally would give rise to feelings of anger. This self-suffering posturing is really a way to control others since it makes those around them feel guilty. Because of the misleading affectation, the problems are often unsettled and leave both sides feeling frustrated.

Some people are addicted to anger. It gives them a momentary “rush” of feeling powerful.

They may go so far as to create a situation which provide them an outlet for their anger, and fuel the surge of adrenaline which at least temporarily makes them feel more potent. We have all encounter these type of people, usually they are in authority. But sometimes we have only to look at ourselves in the mirror.

Also consider people who are extremely sensitive or have low self-esteem. The slightest disapproval or criticism immediately set them off, blaming and projecting their anger onto others or whoever happens to get in their way. Inside that enraged adult is an out of control child feeling vulnerable at a world that have contrive to be against him or her.

It takes an enormous amount of effort to suppress anger and separate it from the spectrum of emotions that occur in our everyday living experience. There is passion in anger. It can be irrational and unreasonable. But when use in an assertive and positive manner, brings above a creative energy.

What we do with the feelings of anger makes a difference in our relationships as well as the quality of our life.

Being able to recognize and express anger appropriately leads to positive results, improving our health, relationship and self-esteem. Another less accepted function of anger is that it gives us the power to overcome guilt feelings, helplessness and apathy. Accumulated anger that arise within us can be positively charge energy when channel properly. It provides the pivot that change our mental state from one of low energy to a reinvigorated one.

Accepting that anger will always be a part of our emotional response is the first step towards managing it.

We also need to learn to forgive ourselves as well as others whenever the automatic reaction of anger occur. But this is not possible unless we develop COMPASSION and EMPATHY for others.

Compassion _A deep awareness of and sympathy for other people’s suffering.
Empathy _Understanding and entering into another person’s feelings.


content by Josefina Fong ©2016

Image: Pixabay

6 thoughts on “Anger Management_Controlling Anger Before It Controls You”

    1. We all do but on different levels and situations. Some are justified but most often when our anger subside and we look at the reasons for being angry, we have to admit to ourselves that it was embarrassing and silly. 😉

  1. I hope I can be that person who can express anger in the right way. I am the type of person who can’t express myself well when I am angry. Most of the times, I control it to the extent of not talking about it anymore. But I know that discussing about it can resolve it.

    1. Not talking about it or expressing your true feelings resolves nothing and only delay the inevitable confrontation when your penned up frustrations finally give way.

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