Moving Forward with Grace
I’ve been asked several times over the past 2 years how I’ve managed to move forward with my life. My answers range in so many different ways. But I would say I am moving forward with grace.
First, to make sure everyone understands what I mean by that. To move forward with grace, to me anyway, means to not leave destruction in my path. Also, to only share my story with people who deserve to hear it or those who need to hear it. To not blame anyone but him, and myself (just a little) for the abuse. To know that I bent a little but didn’t break. To know that not every person is going to hurt you and to use what has happened for the greater purpose.
Second, I don’t really have a choice but to move forward. I have these two little beautiful people that are watching my every single move. I can’t treat life with hate or show them the pain I feel. What they need to see is a mother who is doing the absolute best she can, and a mother that loves them more than anything else in the world. They need to watch me be strong and resilient. My children, as young as they are, only need to know that the world is good and that the people that mommy allows near them love them.
Third, I have so many amazing people in my life, that all I want is to make them proud of me. My family is pretty awesome and supportive in all of the things I continue to do since leaving the abuse. I honestly don’t know where I would be in my life if not for them. Then I have these amazing people that I call friends. They have gotten me through some really rough times. A few have taught me things about myself that I didn’t know. I never in my life thought I would care so much about people that do not share my blood. But blood doesn’t make family. Then there is a couple people that are from his family that have held true to actually caring about me and my children and not hated me because I chose to leave a dangerous and toxic marriage. ***Side note I love all of you***
And last but not least, I have a passion to help people like myself. All that I have been through, has given me this passion that I don’t know if I would have otherwise. I want to be able to share my story with others, so that they can see it is possible to leave. It is possible to do all of the things they once told you was unattainable. I want someone to know they are not alone even if they feel like they are. A simple shoulder to cry on, a simple kind word, and a simple smile can completely change how someone feels.