There’s been exhaustive commentary about the controversial nature of the Diva’s contract segment. My two cents? I think it’s equally valid to be upset by this as it is not to be. Keep the discourse civil and we can judge the effectiveness of it. The beatdown was solid, so points for showing Charlotte as a fiery baby face with an actual reason to be indignant. Paige had good delivery and at least she didn’t bring up Charlotte’s sex life. Charlotte is still a work in progress when it comes to promos.
My take on this is that Reid was not a part of the WWE Universe and therefore him being used to further an angle at this particular juncture seems very out of left field. Some may say that Reid has been brought up by Charlotte in the past, but mentioning you have a brother should not be grounds to use him as part of storyline that doesn’t merit that sort of heat yet. The majority of the fans have no idea he died from an overdose, so it gets confusing because the line “he quit” could mean he left the company which again, does little to make you sympathetic to Charlotte. By now, a few more people may be aware of Reid’s fate. Wrestling is a weird business. I don’t particularly care for too much real life in my wrestling. I’m not a fan of using real people’s death to further fake feuds but I have nothing against the type of fan that is cool with it. Nor am I saying I treat every instance the same. Just that right now, I think in this nascent stage of their feud that spun out of Paige thinking she deserved more, we could have reached this point eventually and not as the opening salvo a week before a match that is guaranteed not to be as violent as bringing up decease little brothers warrants. If I had a soap box, I’d be stepping off it now. Here, enjoy the good times with the Power Buff Girls.
Brie Bella (With One Foxy Lady) vs Charlotte (WWE Divas Champion)
Brie gets the jobber entrance while Charlotte plays to the crowd as usual. My knee jerk reaction is she should be more subdued, but Rich points out that maybe she’s putting up a brave front. The ladies have an okay feeling out process including Brie touching my marky heart by holding on tenaciously to a head lock. Charlotte finallys shoots Brie into the ropes, drops down, and hits a drop kick. Does anyone do that sequence better than AJ Styles? Charlotte follows up with her rolling head scissors. She then hits an interesting dive from the apron through the middle rope into a school girl for two. Brie trips her up and sends Charlotte throat first into the middle rope. Drunk off her own ego, Brie Mode is activated and Charlotte eats a running knee and as she tries to crawl to safety catches a drop kick to the ribs.
Brie with a trio of Yes Kicks, but misses a really slow wind up round house and gets rolled up for two. Double clothesline puts both ladies down. This is where I finally notice Alice Fox is out there. We get a little you punch me, I chop you sequence before a mini Stinger Splash from Charlotte, face buster across the knee, and big boot put Charlotte firmly back in control. Daddy’s knee drop misses, but she blocks a Bella Buster attempt and hits a hug take down to set up the Figure 8 for the win. Seriously that was Edge levels of bad on the spear.
Paige is backstage with Renee and questions our intreped barefooted interviewers skills. Paige is keeping it heel and let’s us know, that much like TNA, she ain’t afraid to Cross that Line.
The best thing going in WWE welcomes us back from the break and airs a legitimate grievance. Who doesn’t want the New Day passing around the WWE World Championship? People that don’t like fun and don’t believe in magic, that’s who. Who. who, who. People like Kalisto and Ryback. In case you were wondering, Ryback ain’t fit to carry the New Day’s unicorn horns. In the closest thing to getting heel heat from me, the New Day denegrate the proud legacy of masked wrestlers by refering to Kalisto as a Loser-dore. Creep E gives us a little hip swivel as he declares that size really does matter.
Big E (ne Langston) vs Kalisto (with Sin Cara)
Without Face V.2 is out to accompany Kalisto and lead the crowd in some Lucha arms.
Kalisto starts things off with some quick hits. Rebound hand spring into a reverse enziguri leads to a drop kick to the shin and a spike rana for a 2. Sin Cara gets manhandled by Killer Kofi on the outside but Kalisto nails him with a suicide dive. A kick to Big E and a pair of boots through the ring ropes for Xavier.
Big E takes over with his bigness and then literally squashes Kalisto like a colorful bug. A dragonfly, maybe? The replay really shows the height the big man gets. Keep that in mind.
Winner: Big E
Another splash on Kalisto summons the hungriest man on the roster and Ryback runs through the New Day like R-Truth’s proverbial hot knife through butter. Ryback takes a couple paragraphs out of Big E’s play book on the splash as he barely gets much higher than Ultimate Warrior and that guy practically fell into his splashes.
We get an interview from Celebrity Diva competitor Maria Menunious talking to Paige and Miz. She tries to put over Miz as an experienced actor and to this credit, Miz is playing along. Paige is heeling it up big time and is practically foreshadowing a loss this Sunday so Maria can get a Mania moment. Well props for not suddenly turning either of them face just to promote a family movie.
Next we learn that Dolph vs Breeze has been added to the main card while the slightly better built Sasha/Nattie match will be slumming it on the pre-show. Before we take that last ad break, let’s listen to Dean and Roman bro out in the bro zone. They agree to fight each other like any other guy and if they are like real brothers, there will be no heel turn this Sunday. Suggested booking? 1) Wyatts destroy Roman (finally follow through on a threat – anyone but you) and Dean covers him completely unaware. Yeah, yeah, we were just there but it fits my “things should not happen in their own little bubbles” narrative. 2) Just hard fought face vs face with hugs. Dean is killed off for a bit by KO for having the audacity of being happy for his friend. 3) KO cheats his ample posterior off and goes on to have a barn burner against Roman that can be revisited later.
Alberto Del Rio (United States of Mexico Champion) and Kevin Owens (Champion of North and South America) vs
Dean Ambrose (Lunatic) and Roman Reigns (Handsome Heir Apparent)
Main event time and Jerry Lawler is campaigning for Truth to win the belt. Dean and Owens starts and Dean with some grappling before Owens says nuts to that and starts throwing punches. Dean halts that with a knee to the gut. Tags in Roman then drop kicks Owens against the ropes. Roman drops Owens with a shoulder tackle. ADR runs into a Kane-like upper slap then is taken to the outside by a Dean clothesline. As the heels regroup we go to our actual final ad of the night.
We tune back in and watch ADR whiff on a corner splash. Dean tagged in an goes to work with some punchy choppy and a bull dog. Sling shot to the outside on Owens but ADR takes control with a big enziguri. ADR and Owens take turns abusing Dean. Dean tries to fight back and Owens drops him with a back elbow. Quick tags between the champs while Booker name drops himself as a former multi-time World Champion. Owens calls Rich an idiot. More good team work and ADR gut punches Dean then nails him with a beautiful enziguri in the opposite corner that looks even better in slo-mo. Dean gets back stabbed and team Go Back Where You Came From are in control. Roman finally gets in and cleans house with a pair of standard clotheslines and a jumping one. A drive by later and Roman is feeling it. Corner clotheslines follow and big boot puts Owens down. ADR interferes long enough for Owens to get his first offensive move in several minutes by staggering Roman with a super kick. Everything breaks down as ADR throws Roman into the ring steps and kicks him for good measure. Lil Naitch counts everyone out as Dean hits a 619 Clothesline from the apron that topples ADR over the announce table.
Winners: Fans of schmoz finishes
But wait, we’re not done. ADR gets Dirty Deeds done to him. Dean jumps out of a Pop Up Power Bomb attempt and Owens gets crushed with a spear. The bromance endures and time to watch former champion Edge and his new Haven.