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IWC 6: Hooray, This Type of Fan | Geeks, Marks, and Nerds

IWC 6: Hooray, This Type of Fan

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If you spend enough time online (say more than a few hours) you will invariably run across the type of fan that believes that if you don’t like certain historically significant wrestlers, then you are not a “true” fan.

To anybody that shares that sentiment, whether it’s a performer I want to have a sleep over with or want to forget they exist, let me say sincerely that you are wrong and you should sit there and ruminate about the extent of your wrongness.

Sorry if I don’t conform to your methodology of what being a good fan is.  This may come as a shocking revelation, but not everyone who likes a thing likes it for the same reason.

You are not the first and sadly you will not be the last person to take up the “you guys are watching this wrong” cross.

I rarely care about the main event in mainstream wrestling because Vince and whomever is aping Vince at the moment is incapable of telling a story other than “super face wins regardless.”  As a kid, sure, you want you heroes to win all the time, but did you as a kid, see a “to be continued” where the command center was destroyed; the princess was captured; or the good guy caught in a trap, and go “well this guy’s a loser, guess I’ll watch the news instead.”

Kids don’t work like that.  They experience disappointment and most of them roll with it; better than many adults actually because they are not as set in their ways or have years and years of jaded feelings to color their opinion.

Hulk Hogan is gearing up for another run in WWE or so he claims.  This of course divides the internet into many camps.  Those that hate everything Hogan stands for; those that are apathetic; those that are fans and would like to see it but understand why a lot of us (and kids who see a leathery grandpa) might not be thrilled.  Then there’s the type of fan that inspired this post who believe you are an idiot if you don’t want to see sixty one year old Hogan beat some guy at Wrestlemania.

I never liked Hogan. Nobody is born a smark. As a kid I thought Hogan was the most boring muscle man in the world. Slamming Andre was like the one “strong thing he did” until he Rock Bottomed Rock almost two decades later. There was nothing appealing about him to my child like sensibilities other than his theme songs.

He shouted too much, all his promos were littered with “dude jack” speech, his finisher was basically sitting down on a guy and Macho Man was ten times better at everything Hogan did including movies and television.

Cena, I am not particularly fond of, but hey, he gets the job done in a far more entertaining matter than any version of Hogan ever did, and wrestled way more high profile matches far more frequently. But Cena’s not a miracle worker (okay, maybe the one time with Khali) so no, this match as a smark, mark, or whatever does not interest me at all.

Hogan has had farewell tours going on fifteen years because he will not go away. Yes, he’s the biggest name and all that jazz, but man, get over yourself. How many people get a legitimate World Title run in their 50s? That’s Hogan in 2002. How many guys had an entire World Tour centered around them featuring him beating up a whole bunch of has beens and never weres? Guy got to go over HBK as recently as 2005 when he was really showing his age.

If anything, you give him this mania moment because he deserves it, he’ll say “I helped sell out Cowboy Stadium” and we get another year of “I should be in the title match.”

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