September 13, 2014 at 2:42 am #11569
i personally believe in this..based on experience 😉
September 13, 2014 at 3:17 am #11570
I totally disagree with this, I believe in getting to know someone first and other things would automatically follow.
September 13, 2014 at 5:04 am #11576
Like Henry, I too disagree that such a thing is possible.
It’s not love. Not at first sight. Love is something toooo-tally separate from that feeling one gets at “first sight” (or second or third, for that matter). That feeling feels like love, but it isn’t. Lust, sure. Intense attraction? Absolutely. A sense of caring? Certainly. Even infatuation or obsession can be possible at first sight. But, like the message I think Henry was conveying, love, the actual thing, is something that can only occur in one after one has spent many, many moments with another person. In fact, I even believe that you can’t be 100% certain you love someone until you’ve truly seen them and been with them completely — in every possible way. Love can’t happen if you know nothing about the person. Heck, love isn’t even possible if you know a lot about someone. You’d have to really know how the two of you connect (or don’t connect) through every situation a couple will ever experience.
However, if you were to ask Oxford Dictionary, they’d tell you that love is both a verb and a noun, and when used as a noun, love can be any of the following:
1. an intense feeling of deep affection.
Love, as a verb, according to the Oxford dictionary tells us that love can be anything from a sexual attachment to caring very much for someone.
1. Feeling a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone)
2. To care very much for
3. To feel deep affection for
4. To hold very dear
So, it really depends on the person and their own definition of what things qualify as real love. As for my own opinion of it, it’s pretty complex and I feel it impossible to fully have love, romantically for someone who you do not know on a deep level. To me, love requires a great, great deal of experiences and life and events with someone before love can develop.
My very lengthy opinion on what real, true love is:
What they’re like during an argument, during the worst day ever, during anger, and every other emotion. Having been with them long enough that you’ve seen the complete “true” them under most circumstances because nobody can completely show all of themselves during one moment or one date.
How can you love someone based on appearance alone? Despite what some dictionaries qualify love to be, just attraction to appearance alone kind of demeans that other love — real, true, unwavering, unconditional love (and unconditional love requires a lot to develop, IMO) You can love their appearance alone, but you can’t love them based on appearance alone. 😉 That’s my way of viewing it.
You can’t know enough to develop a love for someone who you’ve never witnessed under every emotion, like I said, under every typical human experience. Stress, anger, bliss, joy, excitement, and even when they’re faced with challenges. Most importantly, how they react and co-mingle with you under every circumstance. Knowing the person, inside and out is a requirement to me, before you can determine if love is a possible ‘thing’ (for lack of better word) to have for them.
In order to develop love for a person, the determining factors of love must be present. Those factors being the factors/things that cause love to be present such as how you get along, who the person is, how they behave, the way they act and the way they show emotions, affection and love. If you like all those things and their wants/needs and expectations in a relationship line up well with your own, then that’s a start to possible love, in my opinion. After that, there’s much more.
At the very least, you have to have had enough experiences with a person that you can predict how they’ll react/be under most circumstances (relationship wise or just as a response to life in general). You’d have to know certain inside things about someone, things that are only revealed after so much time together that you’ve experienced each other fully. Until you’ve actually had the experience of loving truly, then you can’t possibly know what love is. Aside from maternal or family or friendly love, that is.
Love is just one of those crazy, weird things that you can’t really know until you’ve without a doubt had it. Otherwise, you just stay under an impression that you love, and that you know love. And when you finally experience actual love, in its entirety, you can’t realize that you never had it before. Such a very odd thing, love is! It’s probably the biggest mystery ever!
I actually used to believe anything could be love. It was my experience that any person you felt romantic interest towards was love! LOL. It wasn’t until I came to fully know one of my romantic partners (my current and only one I’ve came to know truly) that I was able to develop and know love, and in turn, realize that my past things were little more than interest, attraction and fun, thrilling excitement over what could unfold.
That feeling when you care about someone, are so attracted to them, giddy about them and everything else that gives you the butterflies in your stomach is nothing more than an attraction stage.
An interest. It’s the thrill and the unknown about what will unfold between the two of you that is mistaken for love. That connection you feel with them, even before knowing them for who they are in every way is very real and so powerful! But, then you experience love-love and you think whoa… There should totally be a different word for this kind of love! Lol. A soul-mate, if you believe in those — that’s the love-love one experiences. The very rare to get love.
It wasn’t until me & my significant other had been together (and on a daily basis, never missing a day) for longer than a year that I experienced real love in its entirety. I mean, you know when love is possible, and you can feel that, but it’s when all doubts and uncertainties (for the most part), have diminished that you know love for what it is. You can even know and feel love developing in early stages of a relationship, but when you know so much about each other to the point that you have no doubt that your very special connection could never, ever under any circumstance waver… That’s when it’s all the real deal. Love completely.
I look at love as an inseparable kind of thing. Something that is so powerful and intense that once you’ve gotten that far in (far enough that real love exists), you know and feel something that I only know how to describe as a really deep, strong, impossible ‘tie’ or something holding you together in such a way that you know nothing can change it, even you. It’s like somewhere deep inside, you’re like rooted together, by some invisible something. Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever had such a tough time with words like I do right now! Lol.
What makes me feel soooo strongly about this love stuff, and what makes me vehemently deny the possibility that love can exist at first sight isn’t only my 8-year experience being with my significant other. In fact, I didn’t understand love this fully until recently & I think I’m still learning. In fact, I wouldn’t doubt that love is something we (or for me, at least) could never learn everything about. But, my most recent eye-opener that’s brought me to these conclusions actually stems from the relationship courses I’ve been taking, and still am enrolled in two different courses on the topic. Love, the romantic kind anyways really has began to amaze me, with how complex it is. I used to think of it so much more simple than I do now.
Enough of my opinion and explanation of love. I can understand that everybody’s experience with love is certainly going to differ. Heck, even the meaning alone of love differs greatly from person to person. Last week, during a discussion amongst the students in one of the relationship courses I’m taking proved to me that everyone’s idea/meaning of love differs hugely. Some folks described it in ways I’d never even imagine. So, I can’t & would never tell someone that their love is un-real or not legitimate. Everybody will experience different degrees of what they perceive love to be, and since many of our definitions/perceptions of “love” will be so different, it’s not really possible that anybody can judge for someone else what they feel or whether or not their love is real love because to them, it is. So, I guess it can only be! Okay. Too much deep thinking. I must stop that. 😉 Lol.
But, my opinion personally, and based on my own perception of love — first-sight stuff is not possible.
September 13, 2014 at 9:21 am #11586
I do believe in it but I think to truly love someone it takes time.
September 14, 2014 at 9:20 pm #11705
Most likely if you think you “love” at first sight..its most likely lust.. Love is something you grow into as you get to know a person.
September 14, 2014 at 11:47 pm #11721
Truly believe….many time i feel <3
September 15, 2014 at 3:51 am #11736
September 15, 2014 at 3:52 am #11737
it’s more on: “like at first sight…”
September 15, 2014 at 9:50 am #11767
I believe in lust at first sight
September 22, 2014 at 1:03 am #12470
I don’t believe in love at first sight. But I believe in attraction at first sight.
September 23, 2014 at 2:55 am #12678
No, I don’t believe in love at first sight. It will take time to develop love. It could be lust, admiration but definitely not LOVE.
September 23, 2014 at 3:13 am #12690
Well, I happen to experience liking someone after seeing him for the first time but I don’t think it’s love.
September 23, 2014 at 8:22 am #12755
I don’t know. But it happens to me once. I also do not believe in this before until I experienced it myself.
September 23, 2014 at 9:45 pm #12881
John Mark SaysonParticipant
I only believe it if it’s food. 😀
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