Do Any Of You Struggle With Depression? Have You Improved Symptoms?

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    • #7842

      kendra
      Participant

      Hello all

      As I was interacting on a community forum that focuses on things like Law of Attraction and healing and the like, on a discussion I’d started about depression, I thought it could be useful to ask here, too.

      Do any of you struggle with depression or mood disorders? If so, have you ever found any ways to improve it? Since the community I was discussing this on earlier tends to look at unconventional ways of healing (such as the power of our minds, yoga, meditation, etc.) I had asked if anyone there was able to beat the symptoms of either depression or mood disorders with those methods (like meditation.)

      I was curious because I have specifically been battling some symptoms myself for so long that I feel like the daily struggle has over powered me, and that I can’t fight as hard as I used to throughout the day.

      I’ve used virtually every single herbal remedy and other depression/mood remedies you can imagine, even St. John’s Wort, SAMe, Maca powder etc. with no results. These methods typically improve some symptoms for most people. There’s only been one thing that gives me an uplift in mood and energy and that’s a natural energy supplement that I buy offline, and take daily now. Although it contains herbs like rhodiola and ginseng, it hasn’t ever had long term effects, meaning I have to take it constantly or the effects wear off.

      I’ve been on and off with practicing meditation and yoga for a long time, but find that I give up easily when I don’t feel encouraged or that results/improvements in my mood symptoms will improve.

      Curious if any of you have found ways to overcome some symptoms of mood disorders or depression? If so, what? I appreciate anyone who’s willing to share on this topic. Also, if you’ve particularly used meditation, yoga or something similar, please share how that worked for you! I’m considering finding time for meditation on a daily basis now, but I feel like I need to be sure that I’ll see results or else I could easily give in.

      Anything you guys could share on this topic? Thank you again in advance for anything you are willing to share.

    • #7845

      Pegasus
      Participant

      Hi Kendra,

      I have not been officially diagnosed with any depression, but I have suffered from post partum, I have had what they call “the blues” (which I hate that because it makes it feel like it’s something you just have once and get over). I feel like I handle myself well, but sometimes I just slip into very dark moments that turn into days that turn into weeks, once in awhile even longer. And the longer I’m in one of these dark periods it’s harder and hard to snap out of them. I can look at myself and hate myself so much for not being able to snap out of it, but I also know that I just have to throw a line to the shore and hang on and wait because it WILL ride out, and forcing it only makes me feel worse and deepens everything.

      For me I have found that the essential oils I have been introduced to have really helped to improve my overall stress and feeling of happiness and energy. I also dedicate time to my yoga practice, but while I can do yoga at home for normal times in my life, if I am sad or down or feeling depressed I have to go to the studio and do it, it improves my mind so much to have a space that isn’t where I live if that makes sense. Like I can breathe out the negativity and leave only with the peace.

      I have not ‘overcome’ my depression, but I feel that I can handle it, I just have to sense when it is coming on. I have some very helpful people in my life who know when to leave me alone, who know when to offer a way out, but some people are really not very understanding at all. I love my mom, but in particular she just isn’t patient with me because she had to deal with this with her own mom. She tells me that this depression can’t be an excuse to shut out the world. That makes me simply shut out the world and put on a padlock.

      Massage is also very beneficial to me and I’m lucky to have found a great therapist. Sometimes it’s as simple as walking outside in the sun (when it’s not a thousand degrees) or riding my bike. Sometimes it’s also just about not fighting against the wave, but just letting it wash over me and eventually that same wave will carry me to the shore again.

      HUGS

      • #7858

        kendra
        Participant

        Pegasus:
        Wow! Thanks so much for sharing such personal (and very useful) stuff. I remembered you mentioning you began blogging about post-partum as you went through it. I thought that was really brave of you. Yes! I too sometimes have to get out of my own space/home and be somewhere else, somewhere where my mind thinks of other things! I had no idea other people felt those ways too. 😉 It’s what I usually try first when I feel like I’m down and can’t easily get back to my uppity up state again. That’s so weird how that works, but it seems like my “blues” show up the worst in the evenings, and that’s normally my favorite time of day. 🙁 I have done some yoga before, but never kept a strict schedule with it, but started back a few weeks ago and have finally gotten to where I try to do a few minutes a day now.

        Tonight I absolutely had to remove myself from everyone. It was one of those breaking points where you have to get alone as quickly as possible or else. lOL. During my alone time, I managed to actually reach a deep-ish meditative state and thank God! I desperately needed it. I love when it helps right away. The thing is, the tension and upset feelings kind of struck me all over again once everyone kind of ambushed me later on during the night. It’s tough because I won’t say any more than “I’m working.” I can’t tell people to get away. Lol. And they want to keep hanging around until things reach an uncomfortable point (my frustration really begins showing to where they cannot keep ignoring it, I guess).

        But while I was meditating, or more like almost sleeping at that point (lol), I realized that I think that’s what’s got me over the edge right now — just WAY too many people bombarding me at once, without breaks for days on end.

        Does this happen to you as well? Do you feel overwhelmed when there are people in your private space all hours of the day and night? I want to try and get these frustrations way under control if they aren’t normal. I don’t know if it’s me who’s intolerant or if most people would become overwhelmed in situations like that, too..

        After work tonight, I got to watching several newer yoga videos that I’d never gotten to in the past when I was getting into it. I figure I can try to work in some yoga before bed, and maybe really boost the benefits of the meditating. Hopefully just this bit of relief will make tomorrow feel even easier instead of the way it feels when you’ve let your frustrations, stresses and worries build up and build up (they get worse by the day if you don’t get relief).

        Glad to hear essential oils provided you with some relief! I have tried some little aromatherapy at different times in my life, but never really got too into all of it. That’s great that the oils really improved things for you, though. That makes me interested in looking into that stuff.

        Thank you for your kindness & for sharing. It means a lot to me! 🙂 Hugs to you.

        Danae: Hello! 🙂 Thank you for posting and sharing that about yourself. That’s incredibly brave of you and I’m grateful to you for doing that. Bipolar is one of the “mood disorders” I’ve been stressing about because… I am so fearful that that is what I have. My twin sister was diagnosed recently with a form of it and since we have similar “symptoms” in this area, I’ve kind of been fearful ever since her diagnosis. I know her symptoms and struggle has been far more intense and severe than mine, but still it worries me so much that I might have it as well (although probably much milder). It’s something I don’t even want to think about because I worry it’s one of those things by fearing it, it’ll actually come to you full-force (law of attraction thinking, I guess.) But I tend to be highly skilled at attracting what I fear! It can happen so quickly. I guess it’s because fear is such a vibrational emotion or something.

        Anyways, so I’ve been hoping to kind of balance myself out and see if that doesn’t help since my symptoms are not severe, but mild and they do come and go.

        That’s so great that you’ve found some things that are helping you! I’ve also used melatonin (harldy helped me sleep and had no other noticeable effects for me). I have some good quality fish oil that I was taking for a few months, too and then quit. I take mineral drops, multi-vitamins and various herbs on a daily basis. Sometimes I add MSM (organic sulfur) into the mix since it also helps provide nutrients and minerals. I was severely deficient in almost every vitamin and mineral for a few years due to an illness that got out of control, and I’ve wondered if the process of all that and the process of recooperating from so much may have taken a toll on me and caused things to be worsened. I don’t remember having any trouble in my past, especially my teenage years. I was the happiest, most optimistic person I knew! I never became negative, I really don’t know what got to me.

        I will try to get out in the sun more. I agree with both of you — it does feel good, even if you aren’t feeling great. I always feel at least a tad better when I’m outdoors on a warm day. I actually was today. Perhaps more would do me some good. I just need a way to keep the good, positive vibes going instead of crashing, and that’s actually a good way to describe my experience on a daily basis. I typically wake up fine — happy, a bit excited about how things will unfold and time goes by and suddenly, it’s like I’ve literally changed tunes completely. Even my spouse has been commenting on this mood change for years. In fact, I don’t think I really took a deep look into it until he pointed out for so long. I just didn’t want him to notice, and I think I was ignoring it myself. Not sure where it came from, which is what gets me the most!

        Thank you both, very, very much for your replies. I think I’ll keep up the meditation (I just have to keep convincing myself that the time is worth it) and will update on how things progress.

        Apologies for the lengthy, overly personal posts. I’m glad to have connected with you two over this though & it’s really awesome to hear that the both of you have been able to find some relief yourselves. Gives me hope! 🙂 🙂

      • #7911

        Pegasus
        Participant

        Kendra,

        I had a small breakthrough (after a small breakdown) last night. I wrote a very personal blog (well, they all are lol) about how I’ve been feeling about my dad’s passing. It has been years. I got such positive feedback including one from a new friend (my cousin’s best friend) who is a social worker and she told me what I’ve been feeling is called Conflicted Bereavement and is a very real thing. It’s not the only reason why I’ve been feeling down, but writing is my therapy sometimes, it helps me sort through my thoughts and I was able to at least get myself a level higher than where I was prior to writing it. I’m still looking up the wishing well trying to get out, but I’m closer.

        The evenings are hardest for me too, but it’s my favorite time of day too. I am alone and can think, but then again I’m alone and can think LOL – it’s a catch 22. I sat writing my blog, crying, thinking, overthinking and then felt slightly cleansed.

        I am a person who needs personal space. I don’t know if you’re an only child, but I know that that is where my need to have space stems from. I am an introvert, I need that quiet, I can’t give myself to too many people at one time. I know I’m a hard person to be around sometimes because of it. I am very “OKay, I’m all done being social now, bye!” and I have people who understand that, but it is asking a lot for them to understand all the time. I don’t know if you’re really familiar with the term and personality type of “introvert”, but someone explained it in a cartoon form so well – that an introvert gets their energy from being alone, needs to recharge and if they give you their time they are expending their energy on you, whereas extroverts gather their energy from being around other people. After really understanding what an introvert was and recognizing myself as such, it really helped me just own that and I stopped apologizing so much for my actions as extroverts don’t apologize for going out every night, it’s just who they are. Maybe it is that you are a little intolerant, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing, it’s sort of self preservation in my opinion.

        Yoga before bed is so relaxing and wonderful – even if for just a little session, getting in tune with your body can be so good for you.

        In my yoga practice at the studio, they warm a face cloth (dry) and add a drop of lavendar oil in it and rest it on your eyes at the end in savasana. It is amazingly relaxing as you’re laying there and the lavendar calms you and relaxes you and your thoughts are so clear.

        HUGS to you – thank you for listening and I hope we can continue to share and work through this together.

    • #7850

      Danae
      Participant

      I had first been diagnosed with depression a few years ago, then more recently, after seeing a new psychiatrist whom I much prefer working with, was treated with Bipolar II. I still struggle with depression at times. Throughout the years I tried out different types of natural supplements, like St. John’s Wort and Melatonin, but now I am taking pharmaceutical medication and in conjunction with things like Fish Oil, it’s been helping a lot. Also, I find that going outside and taking a 10-20 minute walk improves my mood a LOT, no music, just soaking in the sun and listening to the sounds of nature.

    • #7885

      Brooke
      Participant

      Yes I was diagnosed with clinical depression a couple of years ago. Through medication (over the counter) and therapy I am a lot better compared to years ago. I won’t lie though, there are days that it is still difficult.

    • #7886

      SadieMarie
      Participant

      I take meds and therapy. I try to be positive and practice new thought religion similar to the law of attraction. I also read feeling good. I’ve improved somewhat but not entirely. Exercising also seems to help.

    • #7895

      Amalthea Hustles
      Participant

      I have been diagnosed with depression, as part of a diagnosis of Bipolar II, since I was 10 years old. There have been some good years and bad years, on and off with medication, but obviously, there’s no cure. Some people only suffer with depression as a a response to a stimulus, but others live with a lifelong illness.

      Some medications have worked for me. Sometimes, they do not work in a few years; my body chemistry has changed, my needs have changed.

      Therapy has done a little, but not much, since the most effective therapists I see end up with more urgent callings like hospice work or research.

      Surrounding myself with people who are patient and positive does the most, as well as avoiding everything which makes me feel negativity.

    • #8403

      kendra
      Participant

      Pegasus & Danae & Amalthea: It looks like my reply to you (from the first two responses) has not showed up here! Did you ever see it? I’m not seeing it right now, but I responded quite lengthy the other night. 🙁 I really hope you guys were able to see my response to each of you. I can’t remember what I said, so re-typing it would never do my original post justice. But I want to thank you all for sharing these things with me. I found so much encouragement in your posts, Pegasus and Danae and Amalthea. It was so helpful, and even felt nice to know that I’m not alone, too. I’m so sorry, though that all of you have dealt with depression and other things. I so wish there was a quick cure that we could just take the second we felt badly & it be over with..

      Anyways, I’m very, very grateful to all of you who replied. It was so helpful! I’m kicking myself right now for my replies to all of you being gone. Maybe you guys did get to read them and for some reason they got deleted after? I don’t know!

      I also wanted to give a little update. Yesterday, I felt great! I actually was able to maintain the good, positive feelings and even though I actually didn’t get to do part of the things I typically do that makes me happiest, I still did so well. I was ecstatic. Felt better than I have in a long time. If by some chance ya’ll did get to read any of the replies I made the other day here, then you’ll know that I had just meditated that night and also did a bit of yoga. I figured that is what made such an impact.

      Sadie Marie: Awesome! I love to meet people who practice Law of Attraction too! I’ve found that learning about it (and just knowing that life doesn’t have to just happen to me, I can control some things) has been life changing. Obviously I’m not exactly all the way there, but it’s neat that you’ve used things like this yourself. I think it’s very beneficial, but beliefs can be so deeply ingrained that we have to spend so much work to reverse and begin the positive thinking we were supposed to think to begin with. I’m glad you were honest and willing to share this with me. It means a lot! It’s helpful to know that those things didn’t entirely fix everything for ya. I have always heard exercise is one major way to improve depression symptoms. I’ve exercised regularly for years now… I think some days it does improve my own symptoms, but that seems to be only if those symptoms are related to how I feel about myself. Exercising does not seem to really energize me much, or I just don’t notice it anymore maybe. I can’t say it changes my mood, either unless again the sour or bad mood is coming from how I feel about myself. Lately, I actually have been feeling quite good about myself, which has been a journey in itself! Lol. 😉

      Would you mind sharing what types of medication you’ve found helpful? No worries if you aren’t comfortable sharing that. I understand fully. I’ve used various medications, but never stuck with them because I feared addiction (I’m not against medication at all, it’s just that I’m no stranger to addiction and if I found something that made me feel good, I’d be hooked) and did not love the side effects. Then I finally realized I really wanted a fix and since my symptoms haven’t ever reached severity, I didn’t feel like I needed or required actual medication. So, I have been blessed enough in that department.

      Brooke: Wow. Thank you too for sharing. That’s really awesome of you and I appreciate it very much. Would you mind telling me what OTC medication is helpful for you? I would probably be willing to try it myself, but if you aren’t comfortable sharing that sort of thing, I totally understand. Really.

      How it Went Today:
      But today… Not so good. It struck me kind of hard and made it even harder on me because I’d felt so great the day before. It happens so sudden & it’s really upsetting to me that I can’t figure out WHAT is causing it. I have no reason to not be happy. It’s like the feelings that make me happy aren’t really happening for me these days. Like I said in my first reply, it’s like a constant daily struggle. I try to maintain any good, positive feelings or joy and eventually, the struggle gets to be too much sometimes & I just crash, feeling even more negative and bad. Someone told me that it was resistance (law of attraction talk). That I was resisting and even trying too hard, wanting too badly. I know when you’re too attached to something, it’s harder to obtain. Perhaps I’m tense and not going with the flow, not being easy on my emotions.

      However, things did look up for me tonight as B (my significant other) basically sat down and said he wasn’t moving until I talked to him. If my replies to y’all did show up the other day, then you might remember I said that he had noticed and has expressed concern and worry about me for a long, long time now. And I mentioned how he’s the one who brought it to my attention, kind of. He noticed that I’d be just fine. Laughing, happy, good to go & suddenly bam. Over just the course of an hour sometimes, it’s like my whole “demeanor changed.” And nothing will have happened to make me feel less than happy! It’s not like something sad or negative happens and brings me down. It’s just like an uncontrollable happening.

      So this evening as he begged me to talk to him I was resisting discussing it (and have for a long time) because as I’ve listened to speakers like Abraham Hicks, who say sometimes it’s best not to talk about things that are negative because it can cause you to dwell on them and only attract/create more of the negative you’re talking about! So, I told him no I wouldn’t discuss it because I was afraid I’d get stuck in those feelings and make it far worse. He insisted saying that he felt like just talking about it would be constructive as we could try to better understand the whole thing. So I went ahead, making sure not to really get caught up and complain, but discussed my feelings and thoughts about it with neutral feelings, kind of. Just observing them, trying to put it together to maybe make sense of it.

      We went through all the changes that may have taken place, noted all the things I’ve consumed (from foods to drinks and medications to herbs to even vitamins — everything.) He made some good points on things that could help and worked really hard to cheer me up, support me and just make me feel so important (he’s amazing. Like a therapist!) I think that’s what helped. I felt much better, but still have that cruddy question in my head: “What is it that causes this?” What am I doing?

      We discussed all the things imaginable that could be the contributor to this issue. A chakra imbalance, a brain thing, a brain imbalance, a medication I was prescribed and took for a short period of time before deciding I didn’t want to keep using it, etc. He says he thinks the change happened (or worsened) prescription (a barbituate that I didn’t like because how it made me feel) around the time I quit taking it, or that it could’ve been the medication itself that changed something inside. Just grasping at straws, tossing ideas out there for me to consider.

      I made sure to also follow some of the suggestions you guys had, what you said worked for ya’ll. I spent time in the sun (and loved it). I spent quality time with my pets, B and my mom. I even took my shoes off and stood barefoot on the grass, watching Myrtle the turtle swim in the pool and feel the sun beating down. I enjoyed it, yet the cruddy feelings still happened after the day went on. But I’d read last night that if you stand barefoot on the ground, something about earth’s elements have an effect (supposedly a positive one) on you.

      So, those are just a few of the minor things I’ve tried today. Will keep going and hopefully find my balance or whatever. I hope you all will continue to share your journey with me too. I would love that & I really think connection with other people is so beneficial. I hope it will be for you guys, too.

    • #8411

      Kimberly Brown
      Participant

      I have struggled with depression a tons in my life. I still do sometimes when I get stressed. It is really not healthy and so I try and make myself not be depressed by putting happy and healthy things in my life to keep me from getting depressed.

    • #8432

      matt
      Participant

      I used to struggle depression when i was a teenager but over came that part of my life, but i still get it from time to time but for something different then when i was younger. I deal with an anxiety and panic disorder and have been over 20 yrs now depression does come with the package deal. but its not as sever. When i was a teenager i wanted to kill myself and almost did going Kurt Cobain style when i was 18 with a gun. well i am past that as my anxieties and panic attacks are due to the fact i don’t want to die and i am afraid to die. I know some day it will happen and i have no control over that. i just try to not think about it. its hard I don’t take medication for my issues as i choose not too – over the years it has it went away and then came back about 2 years ago. and its been hard every since. As far as depression goes i just get down or may feel like i am in a funk and i do get tired of the disorder. for me talking to someone about my issues helps and able to keep believing in myself that i can over come this i have in the past. I am going to share with you a poem i write back when i was 25 i believe when i wrote it. its a about my panic disorder its called

      Rushing…

      I sometimes face the value of my life

      facing the true destiny of every soul consuming my own identity.

      letting fear over power my knowledge of hope, control is my issue – I think to myself

      will this pain every pass, why i am i so afraid of my past not the past when i was young

      past of a future that lies beneath my every breath. I want to feel control of my surroundings

      to walk freely against the wind

      many times my heart races and I feel like I am dying within.

      someday are better, night time still scared me

      though laughter is running out of time

      I still get a glimpse of a memory that won’t

      let me go even if i feel like I am

      lost or alone.

      • #8566

        kendra
        Participant

        Matt:

        Wow, that was really nice of you to respond with your raw experiences like that. It has been incredibly helpful to me to have you all respond with your own experiences. I know it takes a lot to share something so deep and painful, especially for you who has gone through some of the worst of depression possible. I’m so sorry! And I am very grateful for you sharing.

        Really glad that you’ve overcame that part of your life, though. 20 years is a LONG time to deal with the anxiety and panic disorder! I could not imagine. I had anxiety for a few years (came accompanied by a couple of illnesses: endometriosis and IBS) and I remember how scary and just downright debilitating those panic attacks could be. 20 years of it… blows my mind. I was given a prescription medication for the anxiety I had when I had surgery for the endometriosis, but I really didn’t feel like it was helping. Didn’t reduce the anxiety, but probably would’ve helped had I been able to take the recommended 4 a day because it would’ve kept me in a pretty constant state of zombie. Lol. I couldn’t hardly handle one before bed, so it wasn’t effective for the random bouts of panic attacks and almost constant anxiety. So, needless to say, I quit the medication the second I found relief (in a simple aloe vera plant, no less! All that wasted time, pain and money and I end up getting almost complete healing from a darn plant!)

        Anyways, back to the anxiety/depression/panic disorders. It’s interesting to me how they all seem to come, like you said, as a package deal. It’s like anxiety and depression always travel together. Makes sense though because it seems like having one tends to cause the other to come on, too. I’m terribly sorry that they ended up coming back.

        And do you have a known reason for them or do they kind of just creep up on you? Like what I described as my own situation, there’s not a real noticeable reason for me to have the feelings I have — no sadness, loss or lack. I feel as if I should be happy and on top of the world all the time. Is this similar to your situation? Or have you had something very bad happen that triggered it? For me, the trauma and depression I experienced as a teenager, I finally healed from and got much, much better. Then it just comes back without any trauma or bad things happening.

        I think that’s incredibly brave and strong of you to have chosen not to use medication. I mean, I realize that there is sometimes a real need for them & I’m in no way against them, but to decide to tackle this like you did is amazing. (Not that someone who does use medication to help is any less amazing or brave though! Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that at all. Just commenting on your particular situation and how you went about it.)

        It sounds like you almost found a desire to live? The symptoms I’ve been feeling lately haven’t been severe enough that I’ve gotten into suicidal thoughts or anything close to it, thank God. I do still have a strong desire to live and do all sorts of things in my life, but sometimes it’s like you just lack that extra… I don’t know really. The extra ‘thing’ for lack of a proper word, to motivate you to do and experience things. For me though, it comes and goes. Sometimes I’m very apathetic feeling, and other times I’m enthusiastic and want to do all sorts of things! Like today.

        Oh, I can definitely relate to the fear of death. I’ve felt that too. I have noticed a huge lessening of fears, including fear of dying ever since I started studying the writings of teachers like James Allen and Louise Hay and many others. I think I became more aware, in general of all sorts of things. Like they say when your “third eye opens” you become aware and in tune to things that you’ve never even contemplated or imagined before. Very interesting how this happens, and I was surprised at how that happened to me too. But it seems like around the time I started into that sort of stuff, and kind of began meditating here and there, that fear lessened majorly, in fact, most of my biggest fears did. Except my creepy fearfulness of spiders. That hasn’t changed! Lol.

        But, I have less anxiety over things like death, and I like that! I don’t know if it had something to do with getting somewhat of a better understanding of God or what.

        “In a funk.” This is exactly how I’ve described my own thing! When discussing it with my SO the other night, and having him ask if I thought it was depression or what, I described it as a “funk.” Great minds think alike. 😉 So, it’s not just me who kind of has the downs that come and go. Wonder what causes them when your life is going okay, though? That’s my case, anyways. My life is not sad or bad. I have plenty to be grateful for yet sometimes I feel so down. During my battle to bring myself back up, though, I did discover some truths in there — that I felt worthless, a lot. I didn’t even realize I felt so worthless, though. It occurred to me, and I began working on it asap — Lots of guided meditation, positive affirmations out the rear and stuff like that. I’ve been using Louise Hay’s method of talking to yourself and saying “I love you” with meaning, and if anything, I usually do at least end up laughing (due to feeling silly. Lol.)

        But the talking to yourself and positive affirmations did help me. I really don’t feel so bad about me anymore, so I was glad that that part was easy to improve upon.

        Oh your poem! Very, very powerful and I love how those words are so relate-able for me, anyways and I’m sure to others who have experienced anything like you. This is a really great poem. You can see in the words how you were making sense of the whole ordeal within yourself. You should try to have that published somewhere! Thank you for sharing such a personal, beautiful piece of work!

    • #21873

      Pragati
      Participant

      I’ve had depression and anxiety since I was kid, but now I don’t know whether I am depressed or not…
      I was also diagnosed with Boderline Personality Disorder and it sucks cause I wanna heal completely but I don’t know how….and I hate pills so I stopped going to my Doctor

      Now I am considering Zen lifestyle, I m looking for a Zen Master in my area or maybe I will move to Japan

      • #24813

        kendra
        Participant

        Wow, Pragmati! I’m so sorry to hear that. I can’t imagine how difficult that would be. Nobody should have to endure the misery that comes with those conditions 🙁

        I don’t blame you one bit for not taking the meds and quitting your doctor. I’ve had to do that before (for meds prescribed to me for stomach problems that turned me into a zombie). It can feel so hopeless! I think it’s amazing that you’re taking a zen approach! That’s typically the type of route I prefer when it comes to healing anything. Have you ever looked up online to see if anyone has any kind of testimonies on healing their BPD? Sometimes when I need healing (for any part of me) I will look into any and all “success” and healing stories even if they may not seem probable at first because at the least, even if they’re “scams”, you still get some kind of feeling of hope, realizing that maybe it’s possible.

        I like to listen to Dr. Wayne Dyer’s videos on healing. I don’t think he’s discussed things like BPD specifically, but boy does he have some truly amazing things to share. He plays these meditation sounds (very “Zen”) that are supposed to heal you as you listen. I use them all the time and he talks all about healing the whole body, so perhaps you could find some kind of use in those too? You can find all of his stuff on Youtube.

        Best wishes. I hope you are able to get relief! I truly believe healing anything and everything completely is 100% possible. 😉

      • #24853

        kimdalessandro
        Participant

        A day doesn’t go by that I don’t cry. I have all of the symptoms of severe depression other than suicidal thoughts. I had major neck surgery almost four months ago, and I have lower back problems. It’s a hopeless feeling at times, especially when I have to fend for myself in many ways that I’m having trouble with right now.

        I’m trying to improve. I’m going to physical therapy, and I’ve told my pain doctor and the physical therapist about the depression. Hopefully it will go away as I heal and can do something to make a financial difference for my daughter and myself. I feel like I’ve regressed decades.

        My husband of seven months and I share no financial accounts. I have to ask for anything that I want or need that I can’t pay for myself. I haven’t had to do that since moving out of my parent’s house decades ago with my first husband. I’m not a child and won’t ask for anything. That’s another topic, and I won’t go on about an entirely different subject that wouldn’t help anyone here. I want to be able to fully take care of myself again anyway.

        I don’t know how else to help myself other than what I’m already doing. Earning money for all of my hard work would help, and not just here. It’s a hopeless feeling to continue trying without achieving results that make a real difference. I’m very limited by what I can physically do, at least for now.

        If I ever wake up and I’m not hurting somewhere, I’ll have to look my name up in the obituaries to make sure that it isn’t there. LOL Pain is a major source of chronic depression. Physical therapy has helped more than anything. For those who think that it won’t work, it really does. You just have to follow through and also do the exercises at home.

        Hopefully this helps someone. 🙂

    • #24821

      Nana
      Participant

      this ios good kind information thanks sharing my depression comes from no friends

    • #25247

      SadieMarie
      Participant

      Mine has a bit but I constantly have to fight it. Having my Youtube channel gives me motivation to do my hair and makeup and even clean a little too.

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