Activity › Forums › General Discussion › Do Any Of You Struggle With Depression? Have You Improved Symptoms? › Reply To: Do Any Of You Struggle With Depression? Have You Improved Symptoms?
Wow, that was really nice of you to respond with your raw experiences like that. It has been incredibly helpful to me to have you all respond with your own experiences. I know it takes a lot to share something so deep and painful, especially for you who has gone through some of the worst of depression possible. I’m so sorry! And I am very grateful for you sharing.
Really glad that you’ve overcame that part of your life, though. 20 years is a LONG time to deal with the anxiety and panic disorder! I could not imagine. I had anxiety for a few years (came accompanied by a couple of illnesses: endometriosis and IBS) and I remember how scary and just downright debilitating those panic attacks could be. 20 years of it… blows my mind. I was given a prescription medication for the anxiety I had when I had surgery for the endometriosis, but I really didn’t feel like it was helping. Didn’t reduce the anxiety, but probably would’ve helped had I been able to take the recommended 4 a day because it would’ve kept me in a pretty constant state of zombie. Lol. I couldn’t hardly handle one before bed, so it wasn’t effective for the random bouts of panic attacks and almost constant anxiety. So, needless to say, I quit the medication the second I found relief (in a simple aloe vera plant, no less! All that wasted time, pain and money and I end up getting almost complete healing from a darn plant!)
Anyways, back to the anxiety/depression/panic disorders. It’s interesting to me how they all seem to come, like you said, as a package deal. It’s like anxiety and depression always travel together. Makes sense though because it seems like having one tends to cause the other to come on, too. I’m terribly sorry that they ended up coming back.
And do you have a known reason for them or do they kind of just creep up on you? Like what I described as my own situation, there’s not a real noticeable reason for me to have the feelings I have — no sadness, loss or lack. I feel as if I should be happy and on top of the world all the time. Is this similar to your situation? Or have you had something very bad happen that triggered it? For me, the trauma and depression I experienced as a teenager, I finally healed from and got much, much better. Then it just comes back without any trauma or bad things happening.
I think that’s incredibly brave and strong of you to have chosen not to use medication. I mean, I realize that there is sometimes a real need for them & I’m in no way against them, but to decide to tackle this like you did is amazing. (Not that someone who does use medication to help is any less amazing or brave though! Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that at all. Just commenting on your particular situation and how you went about it.)
It sounds like you almost found a desire to live? The symptoms I’ve been feeling lately haven’t been severe enough that I’ve gotten into suicidal thoughts or anything close to it, thank God. I do still have a strong desire to live and do all sorts of things in my life, but sometimes it’s like you just lack that extra… I don’t know really. The extra ‘thing’ for lack of a proper word, to motivate you to do and experience things. For me though, it comes and goes. Sometimes I’m very apathetic feeling, and other times I’m enthusiastic and want to do all sorts of things! Like today.
Oh, I can definitely relate to the fear of death. I’ve felt that too. I have noticed a huge lessening of fears, including fear of dying ever since I started studying the writings of teachers like James Allen and Louise Hay and many others. I think I became more aware, in general of all sorts of things. Like they say when your “third eye opens” you become aware and in tune to things that you’ve never even contemplated or imagined before. Very interesting how this happens, and I was surprised at how that happened to me too. But it seems like around the time I started into that sort of stuff, and kind of began meditating here and there, that fear lessened majorly, in fact, most of my biggest fears did. Except my creepy fearfulness of spiders. That hasn’t changed! Lol.
But, I have less anxiety over things like death, and I like that! I don’t know if it had something to do with getting somewhat of a better understanding of God or what.
“In a funk.” This is exactly how I’ve described my own thing! When discussing it with my SO the other night, and having him ask if I thought it was depression or what, I described it as a “funk.” Great minds think alike. 😉 So, it’s not just me who kind of has the downs that come and go. Wonder what causes them when your life is going okay, though? That’s my case, anyways. My life is not sad or bad. I have plenty to be grateful for yet sometimes I feel so down. During my battle to bring myself back up, though, I did discover some truths in there — that I felt worthless, a lot. I didn’t even realize I felt so worthless, though. It occurred to me, and I began working on it asap — Lots of guided meditation, positive affirmations out the rear and stuff like that. I’ve been using Louise Hay’s method of talking to yourself and saying “I love you” with meaning, and if anything, I usually do at least end up laughing (due to feeling silly. Lol.)
But the talking to yourself and positive affirmations did help me. I really don’t feel so bad about me anymore, so I was glad that that part was easy to improve upon.
Oh your poem! Very, very powerful and I love how those words are so relate-able for me, anyways and I’m sure to others who have experienced anything like you. This is a really great poem. You can see in the words how you were making sense of the whole ordeal within yourself. You should try to have that published somewhere! Thank you for sharing such a personal, beautiful piece of work!