Reply To: Do Any Of You Struggle With Depression? Have You Improved Symptoms?

Activity Forums General Discussion Do Any Of You Struggle With Depression? Have You Improved Symptoms? Reply To: Do Any Of You Struggle With Depression? Have You Improved Symptoms?

#8432

matt
Participant

I used to struggle depression when i was a teenager but over came that part of my life, but i still get it from time to time but for something different then when i was younger. I deal with an anxiety and panic disorder and have been over 20 yrs now depression does come with the package deal. but its not as sever. When i was a teenager i wanted to kill myself and almost did going Kurt Cobain style when i was 18 with a gun. well i am past that as my anxieties and panic attacks are due to the fact i don’t want to die and i am afraid to die. I know some day it will happen and i have no control over that. i just try to not think about it. its hard I don’t take medication for my issues as i choose not too – over the years it has it went away and then came back about 2 years ago. and its been hard every since. As far as depression goes i just get down or may feel like i am in a funk and i do get tired of the disorder. for me talking to someone about my issues helps and able to keep believing in myself that i can over come this i have in the past. I am going to share with you a poem i write back when i was 25 i believe when i wrote it. its a about my panic disorder its called

Rushing…

I sometimes face the value of my life

facing the true destiny of every soul consuming my own identity.

letting fear over power my knowledge of hope, control is my issue – I think to myself

will this pain every pass, why i am i so afraid of my past not the past when i was young

past of a future that lies beneath my every breath. I want to feel control of my surroundings

to walk freely against the wind

many times my heart races and I feel like I am dying within.

someday are better, night time still scared me

though laughter is running out of time

I still get a glimpse of a memory that won’t

let me go even if i feel like I am

lost or alone.