Sex is the most profound and deepest bonding experience that matrimony has to offer. Sex in marriage is fundamental in keeping the flame of the marriage burning. It is a physical, emotional, spiritual and relational need that has to be fulfilled. The significant role of sex in wedlock goes to the core of the marriage itself. It is the most cherished and pleasurable bonding experience that marriage has to offer.
Most couples pay no heed to the critical role that sex plays in their marriage leading to negligence of this essential act, as a consequence unfaithfulness and the falling apart of the concord ensues. Granted, the sex drive of men and women is diverse due to hormonal and various dispositions of the female, but it is important for the couple to develop an understanding on how to go about this imperative exercise for the mutual benefit of all. This calls for patience and understanding on the side of the male spouse, it also calls for the partners to willingly concede and to openly discuss their sexual needs and expectations. It is in this dissimilarity in sexual drives of men and women that the beauty of sex emerges.
Sex encourages bonding, and it has health benefits for the reason that it alleviates stress, besides it generates a sense of belonging to both partners. Furthermore it creates a deeper meaning to the marriage. More so, it is a unifying factor .Sex is the glue that holds the marriage together. Without sex the marriage would fall a apart or remain hollow .Sex is the boulevard partners use in expressing their love for one another. The vulnerability during sexual encounter shows the openness and the willingness of both partners to surrender to each other body soul and spirit.
During sex, both partners express love to one another physically the best way they can. They both do not hide their deepest feelings for each other as they express their deepest emotional feelings that they do not share with anybody else in the world except their spouse. Sex opens the door of closeness, the true meaning of the relationship and the true meaning of love expressed in the unity of the emotions and the bodies of the partners.
For a marriage to stand the test of times, the sexual connection of both partners is cardinal. Sexual chemistry has to be kept alive and both partners must make a deliberate effort to this end. This calls for both partners to make up their mind as a couple to work hard on the sexual aspect of their marriage and to keep it going no regardless of the external pressures. Everything worth having is worth working hard for and so is sex in marriage. It should not be allowed to slip to the back burner. The couple must strive to keep it at the front and priority area of their relationship .Sex is a physical expression of love whose critical role cannot be overlooked.
It is not the frequency of sex that matters but the quality whenever it happens. It needs to be a memorable event. It could be spontaneous or planned but what matters is the quality of the act between the two partners.
Traditionally it is believed that the role of sex in marriage is procreation; however it is important to note that sex is not just an act geared towards procreation per se. This is a narrow and simplistic view of the role of sex as it should be. Sex should be viewed from bigger spectrum, with procreation as a byproduct of the act. The moment we take sex and contextualize it to only a means to procreation, it loses its true meaning completely and its central place in a marriage relationship is compromised. What if no procreation takes place, should we therefore conclude that sex is not important or it is meaningless? The answer is ‘No’. Tying sex to procreation demeans the central role sex plays in a relationship.
History is replete with stories of sexual behaviors’ of human beings. In the ancient Babylonian culture, for example, there were temples dedicated to the god of sex or prostitution as it were. This is a pointer to the special attachment humanity places in sex and how sex has been a constant human endeavor as old as the human race and even older than civilization itself. Therefore redefining the role of sex in marriage without first looking back through its place in the history of humanity would be catastrophic to say the least.
Having lots of sex helps solidify the relationship. The sex could be planned and even spontaneous. Couples who connect more sexuality have increased desire for sex with each other .This enriches the relationship and deepens the sexual chemistry even more making the affiliation more meaningful.
The beginning of the marriage relationship is marked by a lot sexual activity between the partners but it slows down as the years go by and as the marriage matures, career demands set in and child bearing and raising takes effect but this should not be so, because it is possible to enjoy sex throughout the lifetime of the marriage. The couple must have an open mind when it comes to sex and they should strive to keep the sexual act going. In fact if not rejuvenated and kept alive and fresh, sex dies and there are many ‘dead ‘marriages which are sex less or if there is any sexual activity, it seldom happens and when it happens for the few occasions that it does, it is highly mechanical and not emotional. This has led to many marital discords. Such discords are unnecessary if the partners would agree to revive the lost sexual spark, and to freely discuss sex and reinstate it its rightful place in their relationship.
Studies show that as people grow older, they become emotionally needy and sex plays that important role of plugging up the emotional void that is there in old age especially when the children have grown and left the home.
The big question is, should sex in marriage be redefined? Well, the answer is ‘NO’ Instead, the role of sex in marriage should be re emphasized, and strengthened and fortified.
Human beings are sexual beings. Studies show that men think about sex almost 90 percent of the time. The fact that they have a stronger sex drive than women is obvious and points to the fact that men take sex to be the most important thing in a relationship. To a man, sex and love is one and the same thing. This equating of love to sex is a male character that has survived various generations of the men folk. Lack of sex to a man means rejection and lack of love and this leads to men being unfaithful as they seek sex and love outside the marriage.
Sex is vital for the long term survival of a marriage and should be given its rightful place and exercised fully for the benefit of the matrimony .This will ensure the stability of the institution of marriage and thus strengthen the family unit and by extension the society as a whole. A strong family means a strong society and a strong society means a strong country, and a strong humanity. Let us fully embrace this beautiful concept, and pass it from generation to generation of humanity.