Conversations – Talking On Morphine

I have to say that today was a talking day for me, I have talked to so many people that I cannot remember all of them but there were a few conversations that really stick out and I have to share.

I went to the post office to check the mail and I had a yellow card waiting for me, I had gotten a package. I was expecting it and I knew it was my tree`s. The lady handed it over the counter and it went on forever, it is almost five foot long/tall.

I am walking to the car and its not easy to tote the five foot tall package when you are five feet tall. I got it in the car and Tony said ” I was wondering why it took you so long” and I replied with ” I had hell pulling that long ass box out of my mail box since its on top”. Tony looked at the box in the back seat and looked at me and said ” I bet”. 😀 I drove a couple block down the road and Tony said ” I think you are lying to me there is no way that box would fit in the mail box”.

Next stop is to visit my sick Uncle, he has Lung cancer but it is in remission, he was dehydrated and that landed him in the hospital. Tony thought it would be nice if we bought him a nice flower arrangement so we had one in hand when we got there. For some reason they are giving him morphine but he is awake and talking , he does have the shakes though.

His lunch tray had not been touched and he said he just cannot eat .I seen strawberry ice cream and opened the lid, it was half melted so I took his straw and stirred it and got him to taste it, Okay I stuck the straw in his mouth and told him to drink, I knew after one taste he would want more and he did. After visiting for a little while he asked ” Who`s grave did you get those flowers off of, Amos`s ?” [Amos was my dad] I could not help but smile as Tony said “NO! we bought those for you just now”. I said “I have not got that low to take flowers from graves to bring to people in the hospital”. Next was my Aunt, he wants to go see my Aunt but he was saying that my Aunt was my pawpaws niece and not his daughter. Then he said he was talking about someone else, then he told us he did not know what the hell he was talking about.

He smiled and then laughed because he told a nurse he had scabies.

Before I left I told him the story about my sister and that her liver was shutting down because she would not eat and that I had taken her pout of that crappy hospital and sent her to a nice one 60 miles away, They told her eat and she would live so I spoon fed her daily and two weeks she was home, I told him ” I know you see her walking all the time”. All she did to get better was eat.

When I announced that I was leaving he told Tony bye but called his brothers name, he could not keep a straight face, then said , I am sorry and called him his other brothers name, that was when he busted out laughing.

Later this evening Tony talked to my other Uncle and he said ” Hey he is eating!”.

I absolutely love the law and I had the opportunity to see into another branch of the law that I had NEVER been around. I watched his movements and I listened to his words, it was like being at a pep rally for a high school football team. Another thought also came to mind, A used car sale man about to royally screw someones world up. Tony said ” snake” came to mind for him.

Oh my dear Roger Dodger! Now the poor fellow is getting ripped off and worked all weekend, no one has paid him. I want to sing to him, “Liar, liar pants on fire”. This kid is on my last nerve.

Well there is a few of the conversations I had today. I skipped around because I talked to many, many more people from all walks of life today.

How about you? Anything interesting with your chats today?

By Andria Perry
Photo By Andria Perry

Conversations – People and People in my Head

I`m the shy one of the bunch, but not as shy as the one standing behind momma peeking around her leg.

Its seems as life continued I was told ” Go in and ask ___ __.” with a little shove as I protested that I did not want to. Talking to people was not my thing.

Then I grew up and was pushed even more by people who did not know that it was terrifying for me to walk up and just talk to people, I kept it hid well so not to be the freak of the world. But I learned fast that I had to ask the people what they wanted to order with a smile and kindness if I was to get a quarter or a dollar as they left after their meal.

The words ” That is not very becoming” stuck in the back of my brain as my old sister criticized me for my appearance in my tween year. A few years later my old brother words still echo in the back of my head ” Stop talking stupid, you`ll never buy that.” Huh?

Now its always talking to strangers , no matter where I am, everyone is a stranger. Make friends with the strangers people say, I did. Some betray me and others keep secrets for me.

People who claim to know me say” you do not have a shy bone in your body.” Others say ” what a smart ass.”

Another said ” She is an oak and can weather the storms.” While smiling faces wanting to reap the benefits of my labor say ” You can do it, I know you can.”

Critics tell me how to ___ ___, I have to reply with a ” When I am rich and famous I will hire people to fix it, I call them editors.” “Mouthy little bitch” they answer back.

Life is weird.

Some people act as they like you and what you do , I reckon to keep the peace. Others are invisible, see right through the bullshit and you feel the sharpness of their tongues in just a few written sentences.

But I am an Oak! Right?

The shy girl is sensitive but hides it well, no one will see her tears.

Just quit, walk away says that little voice within.

The stubborn voice pops up and says ” Hell, no! Don`t let Miss sharp tongue run you off, just ignore her! For she is no better than you.”

Stay or walk away? Be part of the team and endure? Figure out what the problem is? Jealous maybe? Decisions, decisions!

By Andria Perry
Art by Andria Perry called “Censored”

Conversations – The Chiropractor

I think I mentioned on my wall that I was in an accident a week before Halloween, It was minor and both cars was drivable. The lady told us to call and let her know the amount of the damaged she caused.

Now fast forward three weeks. I have had a headache off and on for three weeks and neck pain. But I tend to blow off pain, take an aspirin and move on.

But….

After the bad ass headache yesterday I went to the Chiropractor today, I still had that little nagging pain but it had dulled.

After a million x-rays I was told I do have some problems, my neck is leaning to the right AND my upper jaw is not straight!

Now it makes sense to me, I had this weird feeling in the upper part of my jaw in my face below my eye and close to my nose, it was not pain but felt like pressure, like someone was touching me. I had forgotten all about that.

I told the doc that I was in a wreck and he said it makes sense since I did not see it coming and I was like a rag doll and just flopped back and forth.

The doc popped my neck a couple of time,He told me that it would take a few adjustments to get my neck back in line so I have to go back on Monday.

I learned from this small accident. If you have any pain get it seen about no matter how small the accident is.

My neck is sooooo sore but not as stiff, and the headache? its still here but not as bad tonight as it was yesterday.

I believe in chiropractic care . It is the only way to manage pain for me . If anyone knows me they know I do not like taking pills for anything unless I absolutely have to and I wont take anything stronger than an aspirin for pain except once or twice after a surgery. I like having a clear mind.

How about you? Do you do chiropractic care?

By Andria Perry
Photo By Andria Perry

Conversations – Some Still In My Head

It has been one of those odd days, the kind that you really don`t know what to do but you have a ton to do.

I went to bed last night around 10 pm because Tony kept “shhhh” me while watching some crap on t.v., So I got my book and went to bed and it was not long and I was asleep. I woke at 6:30 am!

I write a bog and cooked breakfast, not long after I went back to bed to read. I heard Tony snoring. I think the sound of the rain made me pass out again. I woke at 12:45 pm.

I woke Tony and he asked ” Have you called the guy moving?” I replied with”No”. I got my cell phone and looked up his number and called. No answer, he never answers unless he wants something.

Tony said ” Did you call and ask for money from Roger Dodger?” I replied “No, its been raining all day. How can he cut grass in the rain? It would be a pointless call” He said ” I would call anyways”. I offered him the phone and he declined.

My sister calls and asks me for a favor if I get out today and I ask her ” Have you seen that guy moving?” She said ” yes, there was a big moving truck there early today”. I asked ” does it look empty?” She said ” No, there is stuff all over the porch, an air conditioner in the window and a b-b-q grill in the yard”. I asked ” Did he cut the grass?”. She said “That man has never cut that grass!”.

Tony said ” We should go up there and see what he is doing”. I disagreed because each day he is there is less I have to pay him on the deposit. Tony is worried this one will steal the fridge and the microwave and bed he owes Tony for, he never paid one cent. I never worry about that stuff.

Now its dark and only 5:30 pm, I am sleepy again 🙂

By Andria Perry
Photo By Andria Perry

Conversation With Angie – Who Is That Man?

Ever had one of those moments when you see someone somewhere and you know you know the person but you just cannot place exactly how you know them and what their name is?

I had one of those moments when I was in a Kentucky fried chicken restaurant yesterday.

Monthly I give a ride to a couple of elderly ladies and we usually end up eating lunch or an early dinner out. Me and Tony set at our table or booth and the ladies set near by.

Tony finished his food before all of us ladies and he went out to the car to smoke and wait for us.

This man walks in and goes straight to the restroom and comes back and gets in line to order, he chose the buffet.

I knew I recognized him and I knew he was in an office somewhere. I look up and one of the elderly ladies was mouthing the words ” I know him, who is that?”, I mouthed back ” I do to but I cant remember”.

As we were leaving the restaurant this guy was getting his drink and I was getting a refill for the road when the eldest of the two looked at the man and said ” I know your face but I cannot think of who you are”. The man said ” I am R. D. Pitts”.

I spoke up and said “We all knew your face but could not place how we know you, but now we all know, you are on T.V.”. He smiled and said ” that is me”.

The younger of the two elderly ladies said ” you do look younger in person”. He thanked her and said ” good I look pretty dang old on T.V.”.

At the car the elderly ladies was still smiling and told Tony about their encounter with R. D. Pitts. The younger lady said ” I never thought I would see him eating at KFC, since he is a rich man”. Tony said “that is why he is rich, he does not waste him money paying double for a piece of chicken”.

Now are you wondering who R. D. Pitts is? Well, he is well known in Anniston, Alabama because he is a social security claims lawyer, he wins cases. He has a commercial on the local T.V. stations 🙂

For some reason it thrilled these two elderly ladies to see him and talk to him.

By Andria Perry
Photo By Andria Perry

Conversation With Angie – Some With Myself!

I often talk to myself as I am sure most people do. No, I am not talking non stop out loud. Its for the most part still in my head.

I have known many policemen in my days, as personal friends and/or family members. I have learned from them many different ways to approach subjects to get a truthful answer, mostly with words.

For instance, Once I was vacationing at a family members house when I was very young, he was a retired policeman, He said ” You woke me up at three am this morning coming home”, I replied with ” No that was not me I was back around one am”. His wife smiled, and told me later ” you know he was a cop!”. That was the moment I realized he got the answer he wanted by picking at me.

Somewhere in my past I learned to read a house , my house, for things that are not right. Many have “tired and failed” to do things so that I will not notice.

I asked Tony “What time did you get up last night?” He replied “Two am” and added “how did you know I was up?” I told him “The pear core and the dirty dishes told his story”.

But once years ago he tried to fool me….

I have always been able to tell if someone has been cooking in my kitchen so Tony thought he could pull it off and I would not know a thing.

While I slept.

Tony cooked himself a couple of Hamburgers in the middle of the night,after I woke up and went to make my morning coffee I asked “Why did you cook again?”. This stumped him because he washed and put the dishes away. He asked “how did you know I cooked?”. I pointed at my stove top and said “I would never leave grease all over my stove like that”.

Another occasion is when The neighbor climbed through my living room window while I was gone, yes breaking in. Nothing was taken but I knew she had been inside my house the moment I walked in the door. First there was this feel, and then one thing was moved but only about one inch. My chair. After that day all my windows, no matter how hot [before I got a/c] were closed on the lower level of my house.

A few days ago I came home and something was not right. I can only think of one person that could have came inside this house. I am sure I left one thing on and it was off when I came back. Next time it won`t be so easy to get in.

I have been told buy a few people that I should work for the CSI unit, because I can tell a story from a persons trash can. 🙂

Maybe this is a hidden talent that I own.

By Andria Perry
Photo By Andria Perry

Conversation With Angie – Random People

Yesterday was a talkative day for me and there is always a conversation or two that I have that makes me smile , make me mad or makes me think ” WHHHHHAAAATTT!”

At the post office. It was busy because Monday it was closed and I joined in the long line. Behind me was a lady with three little boys and in from of me was a lady that knew them so she talked a little to the kids. The youngest was four, know this by the conversation, and he continually wanted to ” make the door go beep”. He did it once and the post office lady asked him not to do that. But that did not make this child stop saying over and over ” make it beep, momma make it beep”. After a couple minutes I bent down and whispered ” The lady gets mad if we make it beep”. Okay he stopped for a total of one minute. Then as everyone left they let the little boy open the door for them so it would beep. Cute and annoying.

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My sister knew we were going to ask the homeless man to move on yesterday, she does not know him but we do. While the homeless man got a ride from his cousin to the food stamp office so that he could use his address, we did a little work at the rental he was staying in. Well down a couple blocks is a shopping plaza and someone had a stuck horn. My sister rang my cell and I rejected the call because she knows I am low on minutes, I am only one block from her house.

A few minutes passed and here she came walking up the hill. She said “what is that horn noise?” We told her what we thought and it quit after a minute or so. She said ” I am going back home, I thought that homeless guy got mad and killed y`all, that you were slumped over the steering wheel and making the horn blow.

This one made me go “whhhhaaatt!”

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On the way home we had to stop for gas, I stop at this one station all the time and I like the people who run it, mostly the same three people. I told the cashier that I have one more rug to lay and the house would be done and ready to rent. She asked “what is the rent?” I told her and she said ” I may be interested in this house”. Then she added ” you know the day shift lady?” I replied ” yes”, and she said ” she is looking for a house, she broke up with her husband.” I told her to come look at my house and if she did not want it to give my name to the other lady. This conversation made me smile, may be, just maybe I can rent this house without posting it and going through 50 people without jobs etc.

By Andria Perry
Photo By Andria Perry

Conversation With Angie – To Much Bull

See this is where conversations can take a turn around to put out a heated moment or to resolve what one sees as a problem. Bull sh*ting and Bull sh*ter.

While I was inspecting one of my rental properties the tenant was telling me what she needed fixed as I was checking out for her cleanliness, she is known to me to hoard and not clean, she told me ” we have a water leak somewhere”. I asked “where?”. She did not know but he water bill was higher. I had to explain that I could not find it, she would have to tell me where its leaking for me to fix it. She told me that her dog went under the house and that there is a huge deep hole under the house, why?

Now I am on my toes and I do not miss a beat when I explained “Back in the old days people dug root cellars to store their canned foods, it had to be cool and dark”. They agreed that people used to do this practice. Seriously, I have no idea why there is a huge hole under the house unless its an unfinished basement from eighty years ago. 🙂

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Last week the night time guy at the gas station sold Tony a carton of cigarettes, a new brand for him to try, but he tossed 10 packs in a bag and not the carton.

After two packs Tony decided he could not smoke them that they were to strong and took them back. The day cashier was a total Botch and Tony came back to the car mad with the cigarettes in hand. The cashier refused to let him talk to the manager.

This morning I went in for my weekly Sunday News papers and the manager was working, I know her from shopping at this store so while the store was empty I talked with her about what had happened.

I told her about the rude encounter and she told me she heard something about it. Then she added that she is not supposed to say anything but knowing me somewhat and I have no harm toward anyone she told me when she is in back she is with money and that is why she could not come out.

Here comes the billsh*t.

She told me they cannot by law take cigarettes back for an exchange or refund.What??!?!?!? Bull. Wanna know why? if that was true where are the signs? If refunds or exchanges for tobacco products is against the law there would be a huge sign stating this fact. All sales final. Right?

I got another one too, she said ” we cannot sell generic cigarettes in a carton they have to be loose”. WHAT?!?!?!

I do like this manager but c`mon cant bull sh*t a bull sh*tter! I do not see this as underestimating my intelligence but as being a peace maker. I run a business and I know how that goes BUT… come on now!

When I was 19 years old I worked as a “go for” this blind man for his store, I bought cigarettes from the wholesale house. This man gave me a list and the money with his tax number and I drove my truck and picked up his order. The cigarettes are owned by each store and has nothing to do with who exchanges or refunds. The state only enforces sale to minors.

So this is how this situation will play out, I can call home office and I ask these questions or I call the state of Alabama and ask them these questions, why ask? I am a facts kind of person.

I will also report this same cashier for what she said when asked for something to check the oil in my truck, I said” I need something to wipe the oil stick to check my oil” that same cashier replied ” you`ll have to go to another gas station if you want that service”. I kid you not! Her boyfriend offered me a paper towel, not the lady running the place.The manager at the time was told but nothing was done because she is still there.

How do you bull sh*it a bull sh*tter?

By Andria Perry
Photo By Andria Perry

Conversation With Angie – In my world

I deal with all walks of life from the mentally challenged to judges to homeless people to teachers to……. well you get the point, And I have normal conversations and the not so normal conversations.

I try my best to be the peace keeper and put out the fire in a heated debate but not in a condescending fashion. But there will always be times when I will smart mouth someone back who is down right rude and smart mouthed to me.

Usually most conversations are fun.

The past few days have been full of talking and here is a few conversations I either heard or was part of.

My sister does not drive and she asked me to stop by the funeral home and make a payment on her grave lot. The couple that owns this business are the most friendliest and down to earth people you`ll ever meet in this business.

When I walked in there was already someone buying headstones and they were about to pay, The guy was writing them up and usually its his wife, I told him I was just making a payment and sat down. The lady messed up her check and was rewriting it so he began to dig in the desk, looking for something and he opened a zipped bag and pulled out an envelop.

He looked at me and asked the name and I gave him mine and my sisters. He removed the payment plan where they write down the amount owed. Then he pulled out the receipt books, yes there was two and looked stunned.

His wife walked back into the room from the restroom and he said” do you use the regular receipt book or the graveyard book?” She replied ” the regular but did you get the…..” and she stopped in mid sentence when she seen he had already had the payment plan paper out, tallied up and received the payment.

He looked up at her and said ” See I am not as stupid as you thought I was”. Her reply was ” I guess you are not as stupid as I thought you were”.

Nice couple and they gave everyone in that room a big smile.

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A couple days ago I stopped in to pay my car insurance and Tony`s truck insurance. I found this small office and its ran by two people only and they have grown to know me by my first name, they are the best when it comes to collecting and helping with any insurance. Always kind in nature and funny.

I will call the lady Judy and him Jack, no real names will be used.

As I was walking in Judy was headed out to a late lunch, we spoke and she was gone.

Jack called me on into his office and I told him I was paying mine and Tony`s car insurance as I took a chair in front of his desk.

He messed around with his computer a minute and told me to bear with him that he was not as fast as Judy.

He wrote some numbers down to print one receipt and told me he had to do it that way because he did not know how Judy did this, I said ” she also writes down one number”, he smiled and said” that`s good to know”.

Okay……. his effort did not work. I said I can make this easier for you and pay cash today.

His reply was ” I don`t know why they even leave this office open if Judy is not here, I cannot run all this new stuff!”. I hid a smile. Then he continued with ” that is why I am retiring next year, I can`t keep up with this technology. I used to be able to pick up the phone and say ” Alfa Insurance may I help you” But no now I have to push this button and then another and before I get to the right place they already hung up!”.

Finally he asked ” Is it okay to print the receipt separate?” I said ” sure”.

As he gave me the two receipts I said ” do you know which Walmart you`ll be working at?” He looked at me with a what are you talking about look, Then I added ” you know you retire from here and all the new tech, go be a walmart door greeter” . That got a big smile as I left. He is not that old!

By Andria Perry
Photo By Andria Perry