Questioning Faith

Life has twists and turns, after all if it didn`t then life would be boring.

But…..

There are times that Faith is confusing. I have faith in God that he will heal me, or I will die because its simply my time to go to my heavenly father. I do accept this.

But….

There is also that saying ” All people meet each other one way or another for a reason” unknown to us but known by God.

So do I live by what a doctor is telling me to do or do I wait for God to heal me?

Did God send this man to be my doctor and heal me with the knowledge that he gave him?

This year I have been told by a couple of doctors that I am sick, most of the time I feel fine and I am not sick. But these doctors tell me I am weak and frail, I am not weak nor frail. I am healthy and I am strong, I have more muscles than most men I know, I can outwork most men I know. I just cannot grasp for one second that I am sick.

Oh I know sick! I beat cancer. I know how terrible I felt when I was sick, how I had no strength and no power to get up and move. And no doctor had to tell me I was sick, I just knew it. I got the cancer out and I have not been sick since.

Today I was told I have a weak heart, my ticker?! I do not swell nor have shortness of breath, I am not weak nor am I tired. I have NO symptoms of this condition.

But he said …. You`re sick but you do not have high blood pressure and no symptoms.

I walk daily, sometimes I run, walk and then run.

I work more hours that are in a day most of the time, I sleep 7 or 8 hours and I get up and I go again. I don`t spend much time on the computer sitting.

I lift heavy weight.

I mow grass for hours in the hot sun with a push mower.

I tend a garden, sometimes I use the shovel or hoe.

My entire life I have had normal to low blood pressure, same with the heart rate. So how can I be weak and frail with this bad heart, if I am not? I do not hurt, I have no heart pain.

Now do I put my faith in a man God sent to me to tell me ” hey you`re sick” OR do I let it go and just let God guide me to a 100% complete healing? ( If I need one)

Photo By Andria Perry
By Andria Perry