Losing Myself

Most people would think that I have plenty to do and why would I say I am losing myself.

Work is just that work, every day I find my job less and less fulfilling. People are rude, destructive and nasty. Its a constant battle of good and evil. Who is mistreating who and who is lying to who. I have mentioned it before its like a daycare center. I am getting to the point that I hate my job and feel like people are using me and just plain sucking the life from me.

I do enjoy being at home and working with the plants but I am out of space and that means limited plants to sell, means lack of income. Plus Tony offered free produce today, When he said that it felt like I have been working for a month for nothing.

And I do enjoy writing but its become another job of “What do I talk about today, without giving away to much information but yet still be somewhat interesting? is it interesting? All about the money.

What about that cookbook I wrote? Its laying on the shelf behind me, waiting for me to submit it to someplace on line, because if you don`t Know I will tell you, you have to hire someone to get it to a real live publisher. Oh and the other book of poems? I was told in a nice way that “you suck” by hearing Prose, thats what you should write.

The minimalist that is drowning in stuff, stuff I don`t even want but others insist that I do.

I have several paintings half done, just sitting in the closet. I have no time to paint, I have no peace and quiet, My only inspiration is pain and lack of control.

All of me has been taken and pulled this way and that way, none for me and only pieces for everyone else.

I think I have lost me.

What is life about anyways?

By Andria Perry
Art By Andria Perry

My Day Off – Really?

I know I can`t really say it was a day off as in being lazy, I am not sure I do those days often. But I took off from outside life and appointments and people, Although I am debating on making a few calls.

By heart and soul I am a hoarding minimalist. Contradictory? Yes but I have noticed we are all like this, I call it a balance now. I am neither but I am both 🙂

I have munched on and off all day on food, from salads to peanuts to chicken salad, I had promised myself to be meatless today but I failed, those steroids make me starve even when I am full.

I cleaned up the kitchen so I could mess it up, I canned five more quarts of pinto beans today. This time I followed the advice of my friends from the canning group I am in, make them soupy and they wont be dry and starchy.

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Besides a green house I am thinking about a root cellar. I need somewhere to store my canned foods in a cool dark place. I do have a basement at the old home place I guess I could store food there but its so far from me that I may not get the best benefit from that situation.

I walked the dogs for twenty minutes, that is all I could handle today, its strange how the lack of regular exercise that the body was used to getting daily can make it hurt by not getting it. I have not had that type of muscle pain since I quit this one waitressing job, I told my dad my arms was hurting bad and he told me that was working pains, that I needed to work again and it would stop. I was sixteen that time, I never knew, but he was right. Tomorrow I will try for the normal thirty minutes.

I finally had time to strip the spare bedroom bed and wash the comforter and sheets, now they are fresh I may nap in there 🙂

I have one more blog to update this evening and I will do a little more chatting at my lot.

That was my day off.

Vikings will be coming back on T.V. Feb. 18th. Today is a marathon, Tony has been busy watching.

How was you day?

By Andria Perry
Photo By Andria Perry

That Life Is Canceled

” Life is like a box of chocolates, Smash each piece so you don`t` get that nasty creme flavor!”

Yes I do 🙂 and people hate me for doing that, but you ever eat a piece of chocolate and it has nuts and it yummy, then you bite into that nasty creme flavored one and it just ruined the first piece chocolate indulgence? I say “Smash`em.”

I can imagine that everyone is as sick of hearing about sickness as I am. I try to live positive and not focus on every ache and pain. I know if I work all day I am gonna hurt thats normal life and that is what I am going back to, today is the beginning of going back.

Now for the NOT sick article.

I am not totally against doctors, I know God put them on earth to help us, its the doctors that only look at the money and not caring about the person that I have no use for, Sad to say, most are no longer caring, give a pill and get rid of you and holler “Next!”

Tony had his six month check up yesterday with the heart doctor, he has stents and they did save his life. Seeing that he still has part of that cold/flu mess the doctor wants a stress test but he will put it off till summer. Since I am his caretaker I am also asked questions by the doctor and I like that because I can tell him what is or not happening, the doctor asks my overall opinion and I give it. Good doctoring, this surgery was done two years ago and he has had no complications.

I was supposed to have a stress test but I put it off for another week, it was today, I don`t feel sick and I have never had any heart problems but to flatter the doctor I agreed to one last test, after all he said ” you`re not sick!”. I just need to chill at home today and not worry with all this doctor mess. No matter how cold it is outside, I will get back to walking today, my dogs have missed me and the walks. I have missed my “me” time with God while I walk.

I am getting better since that horrible shot in my spine, that was one of those live and learn experiences, that one I will not try twice, Although my controlled diabetes is still out of control and extremely high from that shot, I will not focus on that and move on, diabetes is something that each person has to control, with exercise and diet.

Maybe I should do a check in with the new year resolutions, Get me back to what I want in life. What do you think? I am headed in the right direction in my own opinion.

By Andria Perry
Photo By Andria Perry

One On One – The Doctor

Since the car wreck, and my new diabetes doctor, I feel like I have lived in a doctors office or waiting rooms for months.

I caught poison ivy second hand from dirty equipment and then I am sure I caught a flu or that cold from the same place, for one I have not been this sick since…. well, 2009 and that is around the time I stopped going to doctors unless absolutely necessary.

But what gave me the big kick in the rump I needed to ” get away” from doctors again was that pain block last week and being put out as you would for a major surgery. I called Monday morning and I asked ” what in this world did y`all give me? I have been having problems since.” Well they gave me some steroid based injection and the pain is still there and this diabetes is beyond extremely high. I am eating pills not to fall over dead!

Now my one on one with my Chiropractor, I have used him since he opened around 30 years ago, he knows me. I took the MIR disc in for him to read, he did. He sees the problems and ” SHOWED ME” he knows he can work with me without any needles or drugs, for one I told him I would never go back for another pain block and how I am still in pain.

He first put me on lower back traction, then he adjusted the lower back so I could feel my leg again without this tingling/ numbing. Next he did some type of sonar and muscle stimulation on my shoulders and neck because he seen scar tissue on a few muscles and told me that is what needs treated. He did not bother the area I had the pain block in. This took some time, he was doctoring me.

When I left his office I was not hurting in my neck or my leg anymore, I was so glad because I was getting desperate.

In this same office that MY doctor owns and runs, he has hired two other doctors for the two offices but they are so nosy they could not stand that I was in a session with the doors closed with the main doctor. Both were asking Tony ” wonder what they are doing in there? its quiet.” When he told me that I thought ” what a bunch of idiots!” well, I said it to Tony, he knows how I feel about each of the doctors and which one I trust.

Then when I walked outside to get the camera to show the younger doctor the house for rent, that other doctor came out and stood by the building and ” watched” same way he did when I was ” asking” the head doctor, MY doctor, a question a month ago. Its weird, unprofessional.

At the end of the day I had told my Chiropractor, of all those years, about what that pain block did to me and how it made me feel, that I do have a heart condition but its common and nothing to worry about, I explained that the only other doctors I will be seeing is him and my doctor that manages this diabetes. He actually agreed, he felt it was not necessary to go to all of those doctors when he knows I want natural and not pills, that once or twice a month that he could keep me in good shape with what problems I have. He knows I try to stay healthy and so far no going to the doctors offices has kept me that way.

So the curtain closes and no more show. All those Doctors no more, Life is short and I do feel like I should not give days and days of my time sitting and waiting for someone to tell me I am sick and I feel just find, minus a few aches and pains called hard work and real life. For instance that heart thing that had me freaked out? Its nothing and “maybe” in 20 to 30 years I “may” need a pacemaker. I will say when I am in my 70`s or 80`s “maybe” it`ll be time but for now I am going to just live like I was before ” tests.”

By Andria Perry
Photo By Andria Perry

Blast From The Past- My Journal – Part 2

Do you ever look back at how you were feeling and what your were doing in the past from your journals? Here just random thoughts that was running through my head that day, but I remember it like it was yesterday and it was back in June of 2015:

As a landlady I get all kinds of stories but I think I got my first “death in the family” story. I am not sure if its a lie or not :/ but I did not get the late rent.

I am off and on the Raw – Vegetarian diet. Tonight I am eating a salad filled with all types of veggies and fruits.

Appointments – Means you have set a time to meet someone. Then by was they 3 hours late?! Craig`s list people. I still hope I make that sell, I just have to wait for their payday. I will give one day but someone comes up with the money in hand … its gone darling.

My sister was in a waiting room and a guy talked to her, he was a psychic . He told her she has back problems and feet problems. That she goes into a relationship fired up and when its over its just done. Okay she was tripping about how he knew that. I told her you walk humped over and you are being checked for diabetes < feet problems! AND you don`t have a wedding ring on and are alone in the waiting room. She stared at me.

I hurt my back fishing but Tony wants to blame the doctor.

I am on a roll for donating food, I now have a few cases of soup that I do not want. I will feed the skinny needy lady.

Some people seem to think that Meth and crack is a drug problem only found in low life places. WRONG. I knew a crack head and not one of the house`s in his neighborhood cost under $500,000. Looks can be deceiving.

A strong man once said "let me pick that up for you little lady".

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I am not always serious, Okay most of the time I am not. I love to be happy and joke around, some people get me and some people stare at me. As long as I don't hurt anyone, its all fun to me 🙂

Back in May of 2015 my sister had visited my house, well here read for yourself:

For the most part I can pull a joke off and not crack , this has taken years of practice but I can say I was just joking.

My sister and her Boyfriend of six years came over yesterday. I don`t plan practical joke they just happen when the time is right, well I have planned them in the past but yesterday was in the moment.

My sister asked "Can I use some of your lotion? I haven`t filled my little travel bottle up and its empty, my hands are so dry."

BAM! Here I go on my journey of convincing her the lotion is not really lotion.

I went into my room and came out with a small tube of Aveeno lotion. I squeezed some in here hand and she said "Ah Aveeno, that`s what I use on my hands." I already knew that 🙂

After she rubbed it in and sat a minute I said " did that make your hands better?" She replied "yes they are soft now."

I then said "that was not lotion, its was Mayonnaise."

The disagreement came as I knew it would. I told her mayo was just oil and eggs and both was good for the skin.

She sat for a while thinking about this situation and then she said "If you put mayonnaise all over yourself damn flies would be blowing you!" I almost lost it when she said that! BUT I replied with "flies don`t blow mayonnaise they blow meat and grease."

I know she did not have that lotion on 30 minutes and she disappeared. Came back and said "my hands are still soft even after washing them." That`s when I looked at her with a worried smashed face and asked "you washed your hands?

Then she said "yes after I used the bathroom."

No the thought of mayonnaise all over her arms made her wash her hands.

And no I did NOT tell her the difference 🙂

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Is anyone elses life as …. well, like mine?

By Andria Perry
Photo By Andria Perry

Blast From The Past – My Journal – Part 1

Since there is not a Bubblews anymore I decided to share some memories from my past. Writing at bubble was more of a journal for me than anything else, because just about everything was not over the one hundred word limit, and that was the sites mistake as far as I am concerned.

My life was on a wild ride as I was searching for a new career/ job. I even traveled out of state in this search.

Lets get started: Back in September of 2014

Some days seems life is so routine that its plain boring and I could actually jump off a bridge for some excitement.

But not this year! My life has had some twists and turns that were unexpected like a Stephen King movie or a daily Soap Opera.

From people dying and seeing their ghost to doctors and hospitals to playing nursing home in a home and with a new dog.

Lets not mention one of my regular jobs, a landlady. Learning to handle people who are manipulating, to taking care of the old and kind tenants. One out one day, another in the next day. Rentals so nasty they could have been on the show hoarders.

Rediscovering my needs and wants in life. Tossing stuff out the door to never come back. Wanting more from life that I have been getting.

Going after my dreams, finally. Realizing what was a dream of mine yesterday I no longer care about today.

Living in the moment and planning for my future.

Loving new people and blowing off what I thought was friends.

Its mind blowing!

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Lets hear about work in October 2014

As most of you all know by now I am a landlady and with that comes jobs I normally would not do, being a lady that is.

I know everyone watches those Home improvement shows with women doing this and that but they also have a full crew of men to help.

Me ? No I don`t usually hire a bunch of people and do things myself with just one man or one woman.

That includes heavy lifting, nailing, getting dirty, saw dust in my hair and at times down my shirt. Paint on my face and hair. I have even helped with roofing, being I was on the ground sending up materials Well just think repairs and I have helped or done them.

Yesterday was no different , I was lifting , holding or dragging 4 x 8 pieces of plywood. Now what I do hate is the splinters, I can hear some people say “just wear gloves!” Sometimes you have to jump in and hold or catch a piece without gloves.

But I did not wear gloves yesterday. The first splinter I did notice the pain as it slid under my skin in my hand but the others, I do not recall. I wake this morning to sore spots all over my right hand, I look and I can see them here and there.

Splinters to me is a big sign of hard work 🙂 Anything worth while takes hard work, Right?

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Well there ya go, one blast from my past, My odd life.

By Andria Perry
Photo By Andria Perry

Conversations With Angie

Yesterday was a day filled with good and bad situations, beginning with the pleasant people and ending with the worst.

Some we brief and others lasted a little longer. I talked with all walks of life because that is just me.

First I was at the post office and this was actually an over heard conversation.

Older man – I need this over night, what is the price?

Cashier – Twenty dollars.

Older man – whats next but cheaper?

Cashier – This one is Thirteen and you get insurance and tracking with two to three day delivery.

Older man – Okay I will take that, can you address this for me?

Cashier – No.

This usually is a nice lady and with the place being empty and I was being took care of by the other cashier, I found that rude. It would have taken her far less time than this older man. No I did not address this for him because I was late already and he was half way there by the time I was finished.

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I passed by One of my elderly friend house and Tony seen something that was not right, a man standing in her yard so I turned around and went back.

She came from behind the garage walking toward her house with cane in hand and a face mask on because she was burning leaves.

Then I seen who the man was, I did know him but he is a little shady so when this elderly woman of 90 years old next month told me to come in and get my dishes ( sometimes I will cook her a meal and drop it off 🙂 I walked inside and she told me she felt sorry for the young man that his mother just found out she has lung cancer and asked him to work a little for money. I know this family and what is going on too. But I still warmed her not to let him in the house. She said she wouldn`t and told me that she did find someone new to mow her grass and he has his own equipment.

While I was inside Tony told this young man that we love this old lady and that he had better treat her right and not say anything out of the way to her 🙂

He said he would not ever do that.

See years ago this elderly lady told me where she hide a key and if she calls and needs to how to get in, or if she doesnt answer the door or phone and I know she is in there. I am the only one besides her sister that knows this.

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When I went back to pick up my sister at Walmart she was by customer service and she yelled for me when she seen I was looking for her around the check out lines.

She was talking to the customer service woman about a rude employee.

You know the older women that set up sampling stations through out the grocery section to push products? It was one of those.

My sister walked up and many people was gathered around and she listened to the sales pitch, then she asked for a sample because the lady had them laid out, it was thin slices of pizza, and this lady looked at my sister and told her very rudely ” you can go buy it at the bakery!” My sister said ” that was so mean and rude that all those people just walked away, and she was so embarrassed .”

I told her to go to the car.

I walked over and NO one was there and slices of pizza were displayed across her working station. I said ” Ah, Pizza! And she gave me the sales pitch and added we sell them in the bakery section”, but not rude at all. I said “thanks” and picked up the biggest slice and walked out the door with the slice of pizza.

Outside I told my sister ” here have your pizza and her name is Sue, call one eight hundred Walmart and report her behavior.”

My sister asked me ” did she give you this pizza?” I smiled and said to her ” No,I did not ask. I took it, it was a free sample wasn`t it?”

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Next I had a little business to do while Tony was at the doctor. I talked to management of this one establishment and learned of a maybe change of hands and since they know I have experience running businesses in the past, and now rental houses, and dealing with different agencies to collect funds, I was offered a job, I said ” Yes” but its all a waiting game. He did throw some numbers at me and the rent on the place was awesome and the annul income sounded good to me. I told him that it is up to him but there needed to be some adjustments in his contract, I forgot to tell him that If it were me I would do this through an attorney, the contract and all. I did warn him of breach of contract, next week I will go back and tell this man that part, whether I take a job there or not.

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Then I finished shopping , took my sister home and all hell had broken loose at one of the rental houses. You can read more about this :

Great American Dream – Another One Bites The Dust


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At Publix in Oxford, Alabama.

Now I left out a few brief conversations , one was with my old doctor. I only stopped using him because the cost out of pocket. He is the ” hugging” doctor. He hugged me and my sister and Tony. What is funny he has never seen my sister, LOL.

Next I seen my new attorney in the parking lot, I asked how he was doing and he was sick and just got two shots and medication. He asked about me and I told him the doctor visit did not go well, he told me don`t go back! I had no intentions of doing so but I just nodded and wished him well.

At Dinner : Ocean Buffet, Anniston , Alabama

We were seated next to a lady that we have known most of out lives, she went to school where Tony did but she was much younger than he is, closer to my age, but she works as the accountant at the recycling center and she has rental houses.

So through dinner we had a delightful conversation.

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Some days I talk to everyone, some days I see no one and talk less. How about you? ever happen to you?

By Andria Perry
Photo By Andria Perry

No More Doctors! I Have Had Enough

Today I am kicking in that resolution of selfishness, I am so tired of doctors and their nasty waiting rooms that no one cleans.

I was sent for a pain block.

I drove one and a half hour to this office and was not told much, I finally asked one of the guys there about my MRI results and he said ” talk to the doctor.” So I got in the back and they told me that Dr. Wade asked for a pain block for my bulging disc, WHAT?!

Then it was explained to me that I would get a light sedation and the doctor would use x-ray and block the pain.

Light sedation?! NO! I was knocked out cold and I could not walk much less drive. Tony drove me home.

All day I have been having numbing, yes numbing arms and legs off and on. I did not like that feeling and the sedating medication has made me witching.

I think I rested thirty minutes today and that is it.

Later this evening I went to a cousins yard sale early to buy before others and between me and her neighbors I think she made about Two hundred dollars , not from me, I spent twenty dollars and I got my sister some curtains, me two watches and a small stainless steel shelf. And I do not know how many flower pots. I will have to be sure to add that one to the expense of that new business.

Since I am not supposed to cook today Tony went out for Taco`s so I ate whatever, I think the meat is soy based, I swear it taste just like my boca meatless crumbles.

So that is my day, a day of not knowing what was happening and it will NEVER happen again, they call all kiss my big behind, except Dr. Smith he listens to me 🙂 < diabetes doc.

How was your day?

By Andria Perry
Photo By Andria Perry

And the Doctor said…. Two Doctors Two People

First, I have not told anyone because I could not even for a minute think that I have a heart problem.

When I first went to Dr. Smith he heard a murmur so he sent me for an echo and when that came back he said “you need a heart doctor because people who have this condition has high blood pressure, shortness of breath or a family history and you don`t have any of those!” I was under the impression I had a leaking valve.

After nearly six months and praying harder than ever today was the day.

The nurse came in and gave me an EKG and left. Blodd pressure 124/67, heart rate 60 . Later the doctor came in sat down and asked me ” why are you even here?” I said ” heart problem?”

He said ” no, What lead you to my office.” I told him and he said ” Well by looking at these two test you do have an irregular heart beat and one day when you get “OLD” you could have heart failure but don`t worry we have pace makers for that.”

He then asked me about what my days are like, what do I do daily. He was happy to know I do not sit on the backside.

Since I smoked for over twenty years before quitting, although its been 10 since I put one in my mouth, he wants me to take a stress test, make sure I don`t have any clogged arteries. I am sure I can pass this test, after all I walk and run regular.

So one more test and this nonsense is over.

But its good to know that I am as healthy as I feel.

Tony kept waking me up coughing all night, nothing helped.

So next was Tony, after his doctors office turned him away ” till a walk in day” and then the clinic told him to take over the counter meds for his ” cant breathe I need help, coughing and snotting self” I made him go to my doctor, they take walking ins anytime.

My doctor is open from Noon till nine pm. We got there early, at five pm but I still have to wait for a couple hours, but thats total waiting.

He got two shots, three types of medication and the doctor has him scheduled for chest x-ray in the morning. With a two week come back check up.

I told him weeks ago to go to my doctor, I used to use his and she just doesn`t care nor does that office.

I changed back last year when I asked for a call in for my hormones and that office got back to me three weeks later but I after a week I already went to Doctor Smith and had them, she did not even look in the computer to see that I no longer needed those meds.

So Tony will be well now and be able to breathe and I can get some sleep.

Well thats my day and it was a good one, in my opinion. How was your day?

By Andria Perry
Photo By Andria Perry