Regrets

I try not to have so many regrets because there’s no reason for why I should have them, but still, I’ve got a lot of regrets (some of them not as big as others) and I’m going to write about three in this post. Just want to get them off my chest.

Talking before I think
I do this all the time and it has ruined a lot of my friendships. There have been so many misunderstandings because of this, since things that come out of my mouth before I think doesn’t seem right. There are so many people I’d still been friends with if I even watched what I said. I wonder if I would still have the same best friends as I had a few years ago if I’d just managed to control myself.

Falling away into anorexia
This was a long time ago, many, many years ago, but it still haunts me to this day. If I’m not totally wrong, I got it at the age of fourteen. Lasted until I was eighteen. I never got to savour the times when I had enough money to buy food, the times when my mother bought me food and I didn’t get the weird feeling of using her. Every day I woke up, drank one liter of water, two cups of tea, and jogged for half an hour before rushing off to school. I came home, sat down with my homework, did it perfectly well and got extremely good grades because I focused so hard on homework that I didn’t feel the hunger. It’s probably one of my biggest regrets, I’ve been hungry for so many years of my life.

Dropping out of school
I would’ve been done with school by now, if I just had kept up the good work. An apartment would be mine, a job would be mine, but that’s not the case, is it? No, it’s not. Depression caught me at the age of fourteen too, but I managed until I turned seventeen and I faced the second year of college. Now I have to start over again and I’ve decided that I’m going to school in 2015. I have to.

4 thoughts on “Regrets

    • Well, I don’t regret anything I haven’t done, I’m usually the one doing the things I want, but when it comes to school, that’s something else… I know I should have graduated, but I’m going to try getting back to school next year, if I’ve recovered.

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